Today's message brought to you by the Holy Spirit

So the first couple of weeks of semester II have been stressful. That's an understatement. I don't have time for anything and I have to admit for the first time I feel like I would prefer to become a recluse. I'm really tired of people asking me to do things repeatedly after I tell them that I can't. I feel like I'm saying "I can't" more and more these days because of nursing school. It's depressing.

I haven't seriously thought about quitting but I have been questioning if I've been in the right place. This is incredibly intense and any sound person in this program has to also be asking themselves, "Am I in the right place." I just keep that thought tucked in the back of my mind and occasionally it pops out in times of super stress... so I think about it more right now than I realize.

I digress. The purpose of this post is to share the email I got today from my mother. It came out of the blue and this has only happened one other time in my life.... also from my mother. It gave me the chills when I considered the amount of stress that I'm under and helped me to kind of validate this intense amount of pressure and excuse the uncertainty.

Hey, Stephanie-- I have a friend who prays for me and my children and knows you're in nursing school at the U of A. She doesn't work here anymore, but she called me this morning because she said the Holy Spirit told her this message regarding YOU. She said He said "This is her time to step out in faith". She said "But wait, she has two daughters...which one is it?" She said He said, "Nursing".

That's you. I don't know what that means, but if you have a decision to make, this must be your answer. I love you!

So what do you think about that?

Busy fingers

Rest is so underrated when you're in nursing school.

I'm doing absolutely nothing but catching up on television shows everyone talks about and knitting. In fact, I've been focusing on this one project I started last spring for my mum. It's a scarf I had to put down last spring. I had planned on finishing it before the summer semester started, however, there was this little tornado in Tuscaloosa...I'm sure you've heard about that.

Needless to say, I've made good progress, I believe. I'm hoping to finish this today and start on some baby projects for all of my girlfriends who are about to pop...actually... starting now!

Yesterday, we had a grill out to celebrate surviving semester I. It was awesome. I hope everyone had a good time. I love having all of my friends over. They are my Tuscaloosa family. I'm so blessed to be surrounded by a great support network. And people who introduce me to great recipes to try, like the amazing sweet potato cobbler we made and we each subsequently made love to.

Another small step towards the big picture

The BSN NURSING degree has been chosen as the toughest degree among all the college degrees by the Guinness Book of World Records on 18 MAY 2011 . It has 64 university exams + 130 series exams + 174 assignments within 4 years (max 1000 working days). RMFT

And I passed pathophysiology today.

They say semester II is worse than I... I say, "Bring it, Semester II!" Rrrrriiight after I finish this two week sabbatical...

The Home Stretch

Friday afternoon feels so far away but it is so close. I will have survived my first semester in upper division.

This has been exhausting. I've had a lot of unnecessary stress during this time, so I'm sure that hasn't helped my experience any. However, I still have loved every second of being there.

Currently, I have 12 chapters of material to make sure I know backwards, forwards, inside, and out by Thursday at 8 am. Who's idea was that time?? I'm not just physically exhausted, I'm mentally exhausted. I can barely focus on anything. I just have to pull that last little bit of energy out of me to make it and then Friday night, it's me, a bottle of wine, netflix, the cat, and maybe a pizza.

The pizza is only if I can get the magically disappearing $300 back from Kangaroo and Raceway. Somehow, I purchased $300 worth of gas at these stations. McQueen doesn't hold that much gas, in fact, it only holds approximately $28 worth at a time, and I most certainly do not have $300 worth of gas in canisters somewhere. Just more unwanted stress I have to handle. I'm going to have to skip the test review in the morning to go to the bank and not only change my address but alert them to fraud on my account and fill out whatever I need to get my moneys back. Thank God I have a good bank (knock on wood) and I feel confident I'm going to get my $300 back. It's just a scary thing to realize that you are holding your debit card and somehow, not one but two gas stations have added additional charges to your card even after you cleared your information from the pump. At least the old apartment officially released me from my lease and I'll be getting back more than what was stolen in the event working with my bank or whoever proves difficult. I just pray it doesn't consume my whole two weeks off.

Notice how late I'm up? Yeah, that's because I no longer work the morning shift. In fact, this girl is on sabbatical... I guess you can call it that... maybe more like semi-sabbatical. I'm only helping out on an as needed basis so I can recharge before semester 2. This is why I saved my money up before it was stolen: so I can relax!

One box at a time

Trying to get my things unpacked and I just couldn't help myself...

Washing my hands

Got my apartment emptied yesterday! Yayyyy! So glad to have that off my plate! I also found out that I have been officially released from lease and my re-let is satisfied, meaning all I have to do is turn in the keys to hell. W00t!

It took us about a half a day. A asked me if I was sad that all of my stuff fits in a Dodge van.

...No, not really. My stuff is everywhere in his apartment, and I have more stuff in Birmingham! I talked to Mum yesterday. I'm going to splurge on a u-Haul and get some of my stuff from Birmingham and an entertainment center from Montgomery. A dresser and an entertainment center is our wagon-wheel coffee table. But it's worth the trip. :) A is being such a good sport. Yesterday was a hard day and I should do something special for him. Stress has made me an evil monster and I don't like that. He has been so wonderful and supportive of me, I need to make extra sure I'm showing him how much I appreciate him.

Pricing at u-haul doesn't make much sense. To pick up a truck in Montgomery and drop off in Tuscaloosa is $294, 151 miles, and 1 day of use. To pick up in Tuscaloosa and return to Tuscaloosa is $100, 400 miles, and 3 days of use. ....the obvious choice is the latter... but I honestly expected the former to be the cheaper.

I'm so relieved to have this stress off of my mind! I can't for the words! I don't have to deal with those crazy girls anymore! I'm too old for that kind of environment. The more we move forward with this decision, the more I become reassured that A and I made the right choice; whether we preferred this timing or not, it was the right choice.

Confession: It felt really good to take the shower curtain...yeah, that was probably my favorite part... Don't judge yet (Meme). It's my curtain, I bought it, it's re-usable, and I plan on putting it up in our bathroom! However, C came in as I was leaving and went in the bathroom. I heard her shut the door and then heard her sliding the curtain that was left back and forth. Mentally I could just hear her saying, "that bitch" and I couldn't help but giggle inside. She's lucky A was there to stop me from taking the rings that held up the curtains. Those are mine, too, I don't need them, and A got me to admit I'd only take those for spite...

I can see my grandmother reading this thanking God that A was there to keep me from being vengeful and laughing at the same time. So maybe I won't tell the story about how I was drinking a beer while tearing down the shelving unit (that's mine) that shelved all of their pots and pans.

Moving Days

The closer the summer comes to an end, the busier it seems to get. Yesterday was a patho test (90! W00t!), today is moving some of my things in with A. Major problem with moving is not knowing where to put all of our things. A has a lot of stuff...

My friends and I were talking the other day about starting a time capsule type deal. Journaling all of our nursing school experiences. When we're all done, we'll sit down together with several bottles of wine and read them out loud and eat tacos!

This summer has been hard, hard, hard. I've never physically felt stress like this before. I was telling A that I didn't understand this at all, considering I've dealt with much bigger monsters and much harder obstacles in the past. That being said, the last three months in Tuscaloosa have been.... different. I'm reluctant to use "depressing". That is far from the truth. But I guess the further I get away from April 27 and the more life goes one, the more I realize that dealing with the storm is much like a grieving process. It's just one of those things everyone deals with differently. I just happen to deal with stresses like that by putting more stress on myself. Makes it easier for me to pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on the horse again.

I guess when I think about it, the physical manifestations of the stress of this summer is probably on par or better than expected. Wish I could have had the 40 lbs weight loss again... Storm, 13 straight days of work, little time off before starting summer 1 nursing school, passing my nursing classes AND working at the same time, moving... It's been a busy summer and full of change!! with change comes beauty like a butterfly

Sometimes life tells you different

Patho exam today, I have to keep this brief!

Say a little prayer for me today and this week. Not only do I have a patho exam on two functional systems of the human body that don't really peak my interest, but I may have also found a person to sublease my apartment! This would fantastic! No more roommates!! No more bitches!

Where am I going, you ask?

Well... after much thought and consideration, A and I are going to live together. Hoorah! We didn't really want to take this step for awhile, considering it's before the two year mark for us to discuss the future. However, current living situations in hell have made us rethink and revisit our position on that. This is why they're bitches. That being said, I'm excited! I was pretty nervous at first about this idea. It's something I swore I would never do again. However, as we settle in, it's very natural. People keep saying, "Steph, it's been two weeks." To that I say, "Right. And before we made it 'official,' I was there all the time anyway. Now I'm just moving stuff out of the storage unit with roommates."

Now I get to have my awesome bed back!!! OK, enough excitement, I have to get back to the patho...