The Day the A/C Died

I just got in from work. I cut out a little early because it's Monday. None of my stuff gets in on time so it's becoming normal for me to have to go back Monday evenings to finish my work. No big deal there. I like the privacy. I thought I'd hang out at home for a little while instead of wasting gas on a hot summer day looking at things I can't afford anyway.



When I walked into my apartment, it was like I walked into a dog pound that had just emptied all the kennels. It literally smells like poo in here. It is 100 degrees. OK, I exaggerate, really only 80. But still. It's Alabama in the middle of July. It's hot and it stinks. I get changed for the gym and cannot stop sweating and cannot figure out this horrid smell.



I had to check out what was up with the thermostat. That's when I found out it was broken.



I consider myself to be a neat freak. I do not like clutter. I do not like germs. I love Clorox and I love a squeaky clean shine. I love the smell of fresh things and find it much easier to relax when I'm not surrounded by clutter. That being said, I do not clean after others. I do not clean up a mess you left behind. I refuse. I don't care how tall the dishes in the sink get, I would rather buy something that doesn't require a dish for dinner than clean your dishes. Someone else's mess is not my responsibility. It pisses me off that people actually don't give a shit about this, but there are people in the world who literally think that if they loan a dish to a person, the loanee is then responsible for every dish in possession of the loaner. I live with two of them.



One of the two, in particular, amazes me. She defies the laws of science. I have never seen someone cook a meal, leave it out for five days - on the stove - without a cover, let it collect flies (yes, flies!!), then reheat it in in the microwave, then leave it in the microwave for three, THEN reheat it AGAIN, and not have one ailment from the 7 day life span of the food. She brings home a pizza, leaves it out for a week and then eats it. I'm amazed she isn't dead. I'm more amazed that she's never been deathly ill from this! Today, of all days, she left out an uncooked package of ground beef. It's next to all of her clean and dirty dishes in the sink.



Needless to say, I don't get to use my sink much. I don't use it unless I've cloroxed it, either.



It's also a fantastic idea to bring your own bottled water to my apartment and avoid the tap water.



So not only is it 80 billion blazing degrees in my home, it smells like poo because the walking miracle of science has left meat out...



Now, the maintenance man just left. He informed me that he had spoken with this roommate earlier about the A/C dying. He said that was this morning. So here it is, 4:30 PM, ground beef has been sitting out in my apartment, baking in humidity and 80 billion degree heat, she knew that the A/C was dead, and left the meat out anyway...

Bloody. Hell.

I. Cannot. Wait. To. Move. Downstairs.

Yeah, that hurt.

So let me tell you about irrational.

I'm still flabbergasted at the fact that the opportunity to discuss this was not given to me.

He takes me to a movie. We may have had these movie plans awhile, however, my movie going experience has been ruined now. Have you seen Alice in Wonderland yet? Why yes, and then I got my heart broken again. He shares popcorn and a drink with me. We leave, discuss the movie. Then out of the blue he tells me my stuff is in the car. I clue in. I ask why. Because my feelings got hurt when I thought he'd bitten my head off. He didn't like that. Whether or not it was intentional or not, it was a miscommunication and deserved discussion.

For your information, there are two people in a relationship. That means there are two individual sets of emotions. One person's world doesn't revolve around you every second, as much you might like it to. That's why communication is key in a relationship and a person who truly loves another discusses a problem and doesn't run from it.

Instead of saying, "Hey, I have a problem with this," he ends it in the car, on the way home from the movie theatre.

And why did I dump you out on the side of the road to walk home? Because as I was trying to tell you before, I'm not the best Christian (you may or may not have gotten to that part because you continued to interrupt me with your "whatevers") that being said that I don't tithe - and for people who do tithe, it's a couple of bucks. You're ELIAS thing? You are paying $125 for a woman to tell you what an entity is communicating through her. My God doesn't do that and he doesn't charge, He just speaks directly to me. I was trying to ask you why couldn't yours? Instead you continuously interrupted me and disrespected me with your attitude. Hope you had a nice walk home.

I would like to say thank you for being one of the many men out there. Just like the lot of them. You make a promise, pretend to act on the promise, and then break it.

Stephanie's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Date

I feel like a bad person after my weekend. I know that I probably shouldn't.

Friday night started off very normal for me. D#1 was taking me out to go see a local band here in town, one I've seen several times before and was a little nervous about my behavior to come. Never in a million years did I think that D#1's behavior is what I should have worried about.

We get to the bar, he orders shots. "I'm only doing one, babe," I tell him. "I'm driving, k, and I have to work in the morning."

"OK" he answers. The night goes on as normal, we all chat and cut up at the table, dance to the music, have a blast.

Another hour later, more shots. Disrespect. I had met a couple of my friends at this bar and one of my friends and I head to the stage. I didn't want to do anymore shots. A few songs later, I work my way back to the table and find out that D#1 is obliterated. He's not just drunk, he's tore up. I also find out that he's been talking and rubbing up on other women while I've been away.

WTH???

I also find out that he just wants to get me, "Patroned Up," this coming from my friends of course.

Now, before I go any further, let's preface this!

I have known D#1 for three weeks at this point. I'm very turned off by this drunken behavior. I'm turned off by his staggering, wandering, now-grabbing self at this bar where he had balls enough to do this in front of my friends! I'm also extremely disappointed because he had presented himself to be an all-around nice, hard-working guy. He always got the door for me, which I really liked!! I know, cheesy.

I've known my friends much longer. They know more about what I've been through this year than most. They will always be looking out for me; I trust them for that. I understand I'm not the only one who's had a hard time, however, my friends are trying to make sure things don't get harder for me.

So, D#1 goes missing. With my car keys. And I want to go home. Twenty or thirty minutes later, I finally find his swaying self talking to a group of girls at the bar. I brushed into him to let him know I was behind him and he blew me off completely. I still didn't have my keys.

A few minutes later, he finds me, rests his head on my shoulder and starts the passing out process. I have no clue how many he's had by now, but I want to go home and I don't want to take him with me.

"Hey, give me my keys real quick." I held out my hands and he reached in his pocket to pause.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm just headed to the car to get something for K really quick," I answered. I want my keys so I can leave your drunk ass here to go home with some other bitch. I turned to go catch up with K outside for a second and he follows me. He wants to go with me!

"Hey, Babe, you're toasted!" I guided him to a chair. "Sit right here, I'm going to go with for a second, K?"

All he could do was nod. His eyes were glazed over and half shut. His mouth was hanging open and he couldn't stand anymore. For two seconds, I thought about getting him some water but I knew that it was a waste of my time. I also was pissed.

K and I pick up her sister down the street, walk back and we find him completely passed out at this time, in front of the bar. He looked like a conversation piece! We go back inside, party and play some more, have a good time. Meanwhile, I'm texting some of my friends to find out of if they are coming out, find a guy friend to walk me to my car. I knew that D#2 was at home and I really didn't need an escort home, just to my car!

No Luck.

1 am, I left. By myself.

My date was left up front, passed out in a chair with plastic cups thrown on him. Actually, a little bird told me there is a picture of this floating around the internet now!!!LMAO!!!

1:15 am, Roommate gets the d/l. We gather all of D#1's belongings together and make sure he has no reason to come in the apartment when he does make it back.

2 am, D#1 has made it back. D#2 answers the door gives him his bag and tells him to leave.

It was a TNT moment from here; he says he's forgotten something in my room, he's hidden cash. I nodded to D#2 that it was OK. He walks back to my room and doesn't see me in the kitchen. Something slammed. D#2 runs back to my room and starts walking him back to the front. D#1 sees me. D#1 is drunk and begins to curse me inherently to the devil. FYI, I'm an f'n whore and f'n bitch. He was so intoxicated, I don't think he had any other colorful metaphors to describe me.

D#2 steps up at this time, gives him two options: Leave or be put out. I love my new roommate!! "Dude, look you've got her in a corner. Just call her when your sober. I'll help you get your stuff to your truck."

The two D's leave.

Ten minutes later, they are still outside talking.

D#1 is crying like a baby.

Apparently, he denied all of it. He was never talking to other women, trying to get me patroned up and he never told anyone that I needed to stay with him for his money -- He loves me!!