I finally fixed him Shepard's Pie

I can bitch about stress all I want to but I have to remember one thing: I'm very blessed. I have a lot of supportive people in my life, a lot of people who love me and want to see me do well.

More importantly, I'm happy.

I have the most amazing person with me who makes me smile. Every time I feel stressed, I can just be around him and forget about it. It is so nice to have someone who loves me just as me. Not for what I can do for him. He doesn't want me to do anything for him. He doesn't want me to be anybody else. He doesn't talk down to me, he is always so positive and loving, he's supportive, and believes in me. He is respectful and not demanding. He listens and communicates instead of shuts down during even the simplest of conversations.

I have found the perfect man! SCORE!!

This month is Domestic Violence Awareness month. I don't talk much about my previous marriage, and honestly, I don't want to. I was one of the more fortunate women. I just want any woman (or man) in any abusive relationship to know that you're better than that, and if you have kids, they're better than that! There's help! I know that it's not as simple as packing a bag to leave, but there is freedom from an abusive relationship!

Get Help: http://dvam.vawnet.org/

Show support: http://twibbon.com/cause/Speak-Out-Domestic-Violence/

I'm so thankful to God that I have A now. He's shown me that is still good in people, and I love his huge heart. I hope he knows just how much he's helped me heal.

Need a moment

I don't particularly care to bitch on here that often. I realize that my thoughts are up here for the world to read. That's probably one of the main reasons I haven't written as much lately -- I just don't want to come across as bitchy but I have to do this...at this point, I'm just frustrated.

Let me start with this: Dating is stupid. Men are stupid. Most men are just boys.

Here's why: guy #1, date a bit, we move in opposite directions, no love lost. Now, ding-dong wants to know why I don't speak to him anymore, if he can come over and "cuddle," and if we can be "special friends." Really?? How about a big fat no when you showed up at my apartment unannounced and when you told me you were at my door at 3 am another time, and really weren't even there?! That is a big fat, "Stay the hell away from me!"

Guy #2, Cool guy, fun to hang around. I love to hang out with him because there is no pressure at all! Pretty open relationship, able to date/see other people, free to hang out with friends, with each other or with each other and our friends. Just a fun person - Until I found out he tried to pick up a friend of mine at that bar...is that jealousy??? Wth???

Guy #3, Total sweetheart. I can't say enough good thing about him. I'm just not ready to give him what he's looking for - despite the fact he still wants it from me. I have to say for a minute that I thought maybe I could try but let me honestly say that I'm so far from that right now. What I need more of right now are friends who are just there for me but allow me my space when I need it.

The reason I bring this up?? Because all of it is unnecessary drama! Every ounce of it! This is why dating is stupid, this is why it's a waste of my time, this is why I didn't want to date to begin with.

I don't understand why things have to be blown out of proportion, why some people just don't take what you say for what it's worth. I don't understand why some people don't understand that no means no. I don't get why men are so...persistent and dead set on making sure the crazy one's are only attracted to me! That's for another time!

And men say women are complicated - I say men complicate women!

I know at least of the three reads this blog, however, I wish all three did. This is my message to them, and yes, to all you guidance counselors, I have said this bluntly, I hate drama. I've had enough drama in my life the last year, to be exact, and I want no more of it. I want to be selfish for once and have me time. I don't have to justify it. I don't have to excuse it. I don't have to explain myself. Quite frankly, it's none of your damned business what I do with my time, and if you don't like it, do what I told you to do in the beginning and move on. I've had enough bullshit to deal with, especially in the last six months, and quite frankly, your bullshit is not even close to the hell I've been through.

Don't bring drama into my home and expect me to pet your ego. Don't take things so seriously. If you can't, find someone else who finds it just as important as you do...I don't want your drama.

The one where he got my number

I've been wanting to write this one for awhile.

Several weeks back, my friends threw me a "Freedom Party," for lack of a better term.

I had just found out that my divorce was final and was ex tactic! Free! Free!! Free!!! After several months of unending headaches, I finally was divorced. So we celebrated at a local bar in town where a band was playing.

The band, who is coming to town again soon and I can't wait to go see again, found out that I was newly single. At the same time, in the bar with us was a bachelorette party. Now, this is the part of the evening that, yes, is a bit groggy. A bit, a bit.

I was dressed in a black shirt and tight jeans. The stress I've been through has done wonders for the body, I tell you! My friend, who threw this party for me, was wearing nothing but a bra/vest type deal and even tighter jeans. Hate her...she pulled it off!!! Up on the stage we're pulled, shots being passed around everywhere.

I look over to my right and on stage with me is this poor, pitiful looking bride. I wanted to slap sense into her like someone should have done to me. My friend grabbed the microphone, screamed, "DON'T DO IT!" as the innocent was being introduced. She looked so happy; taking advantage of the last thread of wild in her. The crowd gave a clap while she raised her drink and spun around, holding the clumsy veil on her head.

I thought, "You look like you're about to be sacrificed." Meanwhile, I heard my name called.

"And this girl, ladies and gentlemen, very big night for her. While the other girl is getting married next week, Stephanie, is celebrating her divorce!!!" The next thing I know, the room is going A.P.E.S.H.I.T!!!! More drinks are being passed around, someone is dancing with me onstage, I'm getting high fives and congratulations...

It was crazy!!

Finally, I get back to my table after the journey of high fives and shots. How I hadn't fallen in my high heels is beyond me.

About that time, a very tall guy comes our way. I knew for certain he headed for my friend. I brushed him off until he sat next to me and leaned in.

"Crazy night, huh?"

"Yeah," I was pretty shy about meeting new people. Give me a break. It'd been a few months but meeting people in a bar was definitely not on my top ten things to do. "It's good to get out and have some fun, tho!!"

He had on a ball cap and a pressed polo shirt. His crooked little smile made his eyes sparkle a bit. But it was very dark, making out his face again would be difficult. I looked down and started playing with my phone.

"Hey, I like that phone!" He pointed to my toy. "Can I see it a sec?"

"Uh, sure?"

"So, are you from here?"

"Not originally."

He looked up from my phone a moment, "You don't sound southern."

"Well, I am...just not good with the accent!" I laughed. Sometimes I tend to sound a bit Yankee. I get made fun of for it, too.

"Well, I just put my number in your phone. Text me sometime!"

What the hell?!

The Truth Hurts

I have come to the conclusion that this blog is not possible without me being honest about the events in my life. That doesn't mean I have to give you any details, however, that does mean that all the good stories I have to write end up, in some way or another, revolving around a major event in my life.

That leaves me no choice but to admit a major and personal piece of information to you I care not to go into detail about, nor ever will I.

Let me keep it simple by saying that I am now divorced and happier than I ever thought possible.

I hate it for you if you like the really juicy shit. That won't fit on the blog...Blogger's server isn't big enough!