So men are just stupid.
Yes, all of you.
You're stupid for thinking and treating us women like we're stupid.
We're not stupid.
I think I shall create a list of assholes and publish it one day...Men whom you should never date...
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
There will be SOUP!
Decided I would try to cook for the beaux tonight. I hope he doesn't die or get sick! I have been craving taco soup lately! I haven't had it in awhile. Alabama's playing football, R is late so now my apartment smells so good! The smell is making me very hungry!
I put a pot up this morning on what I should dare to cook. A couple of people were interested in my Taco Soup recipe so I thought I would post it for you while I watch Alabama play Miss St.
1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can ranch style beans
1 onion chopped
packet of ranch dressing
packet of taco seasoning
1 can stewed tomatoes
1 can rotel
1 can cream style corn
1 lb cooked ground sirloin/beef
Brown the beef, chop the onions, and pour everything into a crock pot. Put it on low for the whole day and come home to a yummy supper. I put sour cream, cheese, and Tostitos scoops in my soup for extra yumminess.
I put a pot up this morning on what I should dare to cook. A couple of people were interested in my Taco Soup recipe so I thought I would post it for you while I watch Alabama play Miss St.
1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can ranch style beans
1 onion chopped
packet of ranch dressing
packet of taco seasoning
1 can stewed tomatoes
1 can rotel
1 can cream style corn
1 lb cooked ground sirloin/beef
Brown the beef, chop the onions, and pour everything into a crock pot. Put it on low for the whole day and come home to a yummy supper. I put sour cream, cheese, and Tostitos scoops in my soup for extra yumminess.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Fingernails and Chalkboards
Let me tell you what I can't stand. I just noticed a person I know doing this. Soapbox.
I hate hypocrites. They piss me off. Just be yourself! I can't stand it when people pretend to speak or do what is socially acceptable just to keep your status.
For example, if you're gay, you're obviously gay, just say so. Who gives a shit? I don't! It's always the negative voices you hear because the people who don't give a shit don't care enough to say, "So what?" and believe me, the number of people who have the latter mentality far exceed the idiots who condemn something they are uncomfortable with.
Another example, it could be as simple has not liking college football but pretending to because you live in a college town, you're afraid you'll hurt yourself. I have a lot of choice words to say about people who pretend to be something they aren't. Family reads this; I won't say them.
Why is it so hard for people today to just appreciate what they like, want, or do? Why be ashamed? There are millions of people around you! Just because one group of people doesn't accept you for your personality traits doesn't mean you don't fit in. It means that you've just been saved from having meaningless associates who judge your for something they are either jealous of or uncomfortable with.
And by all means, don't pretend to like something just to keep up appearances. People see straight through you.
I hate hypocrites. They piss me off. Just be yourself! I can't stand it when people pretend to speak or do what is socially acceptable just to keep your status.
For example, if you're gay, you're obviously gay, just say so. Who gives a shit? I don't! It's always the negative voices you hear because the people who don't give a shit don't care enough to say, "So what?" and believe me, the number of people who have the latter mentality far exceed the idiots who condemn something they are uncomfortable with.
Another example, it could be as simple has not liking college football but pretending to because you live in a college town, you're afraid you'll hurt yourself. I have a lot of choice words to say about people who pretend to be something they aren't. Family reads this; I won't say them.
Why is it so hard for people today to just appreciate what they like, want, or do? Why be ashamed? There are millions of people around you! Just because one group of people doesn't accept you for your personality traits doesn't mean you don't fit in. It means that you've just been saved from having meaningless associates who judge your for something they are either jealous of or uncomfortable with.
And by all means, don't pretend to like something just to keep up appearances. People see straight through you.
Breath of Fresh Air
Had a date last night, I'm sure he'll read this but I started this blog with a no holds barred mentality and with the exception of other circumstances, I plan on keeping to that.
For the first time, I had a date with someone where I felt comfortable. Helps that I already knew him, and I've known him a long time. God, college seems like forever ago. Extremely nice to hang out with someone that I could actually hold a conversation with.
So, I knew him in college and it's actually quite a funny background story and maybe I'll write about that later. I don't think I'd seen him since then, actually, or maybe afterwards, shit I can't remember that far back. I really didn't recognize him. And I most certainly didn't remember him being almost a foot taller than me. Check one off list. I don't think he remembered me being so short either, he kept looking over my head once I saw him...
Time had changed him a bit. He's still very handsome but he's matured. Has military background, job, is an Alabama fan, graduated high school and college, walks/talks like he's confident, definately has a skill and his own hobbies. Check off 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 items from list. Good start... Overall, he was like a wine that had gotten better with age. So far. The shitty qualities from years ago were gone or minimized and, honestly, I wasn't looking to hard to see if they were there too much because I had such a good time.
First plan was margeritas and mexican food. I needed a drink. However, Iguana Grill was more than packed. I think the Fire Marshall was off duty; there were too many people in there!! So plan B, spontaneous and probably right up his ally since he'd said that's what he wanted anyway, was Kobe. Once we sat at the bar, I didn't quit laughing. That hasn't happened in awhile.
I'm going to be a little bit more honest here, more than anyone needs to know, but I'm going on a limb here. It's a very flimsy limb. I am not good with the whole "trust" thing and "good intentions." Yeah, I admit it, I don't believe anyone has a noble motive when the meet me now. Last night showed me something different, though. For the first time, I saw hope that not all mean are out to get in my pants.
So needless to say, yes, you who I know is reading this, you did well. Yes, you have another date. I'd love to see how much fun we'd have. Now stop getting my name wrong.
For the first time, I had a date with someone where I felt comfortable. Helps that I already knew him, and I've known him a long time. God, college seems like forever ago. Extremely nice to hang out with someone that I could actually hold a conversation with.
So, I knew him in college and it's actually quite a funny background story and maybe I'll write about that later. I don't think I'd seen him since then, actually, or maybe afterwards, shit I can't remember that far back. I really didn't recognize him. And I most certainly didn't remember him being almost a foot taller than me. Check one off list. I don't think he remembered me being so short either, he kept looking over my head once I saw him...
Time had changed him a bit. He's still very handsome but he's matured. Has military background, job, is an Alabama fan, graduated high school and college, walks/talks like he's confident, definately has a skill and his own hobbies. Check off 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 items from list. Good start... Overall, he was like a wine that had gotten better with age. So far. The shitty qualities from years ago were gone or minimized and, honestly, I wasn't looking to hard to see if they were there too much because I had such a good time.
First plan was margeritas and mexican food. I needed a drink. However, Iguana Grill was more than packed. I think the Fire Marshall was off duty; there were too many people in there!! So plan B, spontaneous and probably right up his ally since he'd said that's what he wanted anyway, was Kobe. Once we sat at the bar, I didn't quit laughing. That hasn't happened in awhile.
I'm going to be a little bit more honest here, more than anyone needs to know, but I'm going on a limb here. It's a very flimsy limb. I am not good with the whole "trust" thing and "good intentions." Yeah, I admit it, I don't believe anyone has a noble motive when the meet me now. Last night showed me something different, though. For the first time, I saw hope that not all mean are out to get in my pants.
So needless to say, yes, you who I know is reading this, you did well. Yes, you have another date. I'd love to see how much fun we'd have. Now stop getting my name wrong.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
The Rules and Counting
1. Must be employed.
2. Must be an Alabama fan.
3. Must be less than within my age up to 4 years older than me.
4. No country music. It sucks. Very, very few exceptions to that.
5. Must have college degree.
6. Must have highschool diploma.
7. Cannot suck the blood out of his parents.
8. Must have a retirement plan in place and in action.
9. Must be debt free.
10. No kids yet.
11. No hitting.
12. No biters...you're stupid if you think nibbling is cute. It's not.
13. Gives good back rubs.
14. Cleans regularly.
15. Respects what I've just cleaned.
16. Allows me my own hobbies.
17. Allows me to watch my own shows.
18. True gift giver - not to buy my affection. To let me know he thinks about me.
19. Respects my time.
20. Always opens every door, every time, every where, every day.
21. Loves movies.
22. Must be taller than me.
23. Has his own hobbies.
24. Has a skill.
25. Doesn't put me down for Lucill Ball moments. I have many of them.
26. Knows when to leave me alone.
27. Doesn't yell.
28. Communicates.
29. Never cheated on anyone.
30. Loves the gym. And it shows.
31. Speaks a foreign language.
32. Loves music.
33. Eeuughhh...I'll not list this one.
34. And I won't list this one either. They're censored. For me only. :)
35. Believes in himself.
36. Isn't cocky.
37. Takes pride in appearance.
38. Doesn't tell me who I can be with.
39. No curfews.
40. Has a life and let's me in but doesn't shove it down my throat.
41. Keeps his nails clean.
42. Clean shaven.
43. Knows how to make a bed.
44. Can fold clothes.
45. Brings me soup when I'm sick.
46. Plays an instrument.
47. Has never been arrested.
48. Doesn't believe in public intoxication.
49. Hates patron.
50. Never accuses me of bullshit.
51. Doesn't do drama.
52. Looks like Daniel Craig.
53. Respects when I don't want to talk about something.
54. Doesn't read my diary.
55. Trusts me completely.
56. Never gives me a reason to not trust him.
57. Gives me an off day if I want it.
58. Believes in me, even when I don't.
59. Supports me during my project.
60. Has a dream and wants to achieve it.
2. Must be an Alabama fan.
3. Must be less than within my age up to 4 years older than me.
4. No country music. It sucks. Very, very few exceptions to that.
5. Must have college degree.
6. Must have highschool diploma.
7. Cannot suck the blood out of his parents.
8. Must have a retirement plan in place and in action.
9. Must be debt free.
10. No kids yet.
11. No hitting.
12. No biters...you're stupid if you think nibbling is cute. It's not.
13. Gives good back rubs.
14. Cleans regularly.
15. Respects what I've just cleaned.
16. Allows me my own hobbies.
17. Allows me to watch my own shows.
18. True gift giver - not to buy my affection. To let me know he thinks about me.
19. Respects my time.
20. Always opens every door, every time, every where, every day.
21. Loves movies.
22. Must be taller than me.
23. Has his own hobbies.
24. Has a skill.
25. Doesn't put me down for Lucill Ball moments. I have many of them.
26. Knows when to leave me alone.
27. Doesn't yell.
28. Communicates.
29. Never cheated on anyone.
30. Loves the gym. And it shows.
31. Speaks a foreign language.
32. Loves music.
33. Eeuughhh...I'll not list this one.
34. And I won't list this one either. They're censored. For me only. :)
35. Believes in himself.
36. Isn't cocky.
37. Takes pride in appearance.
38. Doesn't tell me who I can be with.
39. No curfews.
40. Has a life and let's me in but doesn't shove it down my throat.
41. Keeps his nails clean.
42. Clean shaven.
43. Knows how to make a bed.
44. Can fold clothes.
45. Brings me soup when I'm sick.
46. Plays an instrument.
47. Has never been arrested.
48. Doesn't believe in public intoxication.
49. Hates patron.
50. Never accuses me of bullshit.
51. Doesn't do drama.
52. Looks like Daniel Craig.
53. Respects when I don't want to talk about something.
54. Doesn't read my diary.
55. Trusts me completely.
56. Never gives me a reason to not trust him.
57. Gives me an off day if I want it.
58. Believes in me, even when I don't.
59. Supports me during my project.
60. Has a dream and wants to achieve it.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
These last two weeks have been great! I should probably explain, that's because I quit my job! I have been doing absolutely nothing...well that part's not true, really. I have been doing quite a lot.
Truth is, I have made a huge change and that's required a lot of tedious things to be done. I haven't just lost my ever-loving mind and have decided that jobless will pay my bills. In fact, I already have another job lined up, but I am not starting until I get back from the beach.
Which is where I am right now.
Be jealous - it's beautiful down here!! OK - don't be jealous - pack a bag and come see how beautiful it is!!
The water is clear, the weather is perfect, the sun is out, the tanned resort boys are out putting the cushions out this morning...it's great!! In fact, the view is so awesome, my bed is right next to the window facing the ocean!
Truth is, I have made a huge change and that's required a lot of tedious things to be done. I haven't just lost my ever-loving mind and have decided that jobless will pay my bills. In fact, I already have another job lined up, but I am not starting until I get back from the beach.
Which is where I am right now.
Be jealous - it's beautiful down here!! OK - don't be jealous - pack a bag and come see how beautiful it is!!
The water is clear, the weather is perfect, the sun is out, the tanned resort boys are out putting the cushions out this morning...it's great!! In fact, the view is so awesome, my bed is right next to the window facing the ocean!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
I have a Twin
Latest message in my email today:
Is it right?
Stranger: I'm not sure if I'm right or not. Anyway is this you right :D
?? i mean u know me ? .....Giza !!???? is you really or you just
look like her :D ?
Me: i don't think you have the right girl. I'm sorry!
Stranger: so don't you live in Egypt ?????
Me: No i live in the states
Stranger: sorry Stephanie but you look like her so much.
nice to meet you ;) thanks
Nobody Calls Me Sqints!!
I can see!!!
I got my contacts today! I'm so incredibly excited to not struggle to see anymore!!!
This is wonderful! Besides cheesecake, this is putting the biggest smile on my face!!
I got my contacts today! I'm so incredibly excited to not struggle to see anymore!!!
This is wonderful! Besides cheesecake, this is putting the biggest smile on my face!!
Overdue
I'm so excited this morning! I am finally getting my eyes checked!! I'm going to leave there feeling like a new woman! I can't wait to get my contacts back!
Following that, I have a dentist's appointment. I had never been afraid of those before but the last time I went, it was a bit painful. Note to self: Get the gas this time!!
Following that, I have a dentist's appointment. I had never been afraid of those before but the last time I went, it was a bit painful. Note to self: Get the gas this time!!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Take 2
You're going to call me an idiot.
I went on a date with D#1 tonight. I got weak!!
We had a good talk last night. He had been sending me text messages begging for forgiveness and admitting that he's an asshole. That part made me smile. I didn't have to even tell him! He called me, eventually, seeing as text message eventually get confusing when discussing something serious. I listened to what he had to say, but I made sure D#1 heard what I had to say.
Needless to say, it bothers me a bit that he has the same bottom line over and over again. He thinks that my irritation is solely in reference to his ogling of other females. In actuality, it's not. It's his behavior generally while intoxicated. It's the fact that he is the age that he is and was as irresponsible and insulting as he was. At first he didn't understand why it was such a big deal to me; and if he doesn't still, then I had a great free meal and probably the last for a minute.
D#1 now has boundaries and stipulations. There is to be no drinking around me. There is to be no threatening bodily harm to my friends. Actually, after some time has passed, it's up to him to make amends with my friends and make things right. He screwed his first impression with them and many others. K thinks I'm crazy and can't wait to say, "I told you so." He has other guidelines to follow as well.
I say, I have made things so strict for him that I will be surprised if he sticks around passed the weekend.
This is like having my own little bitch!
In the end, he said he wanted what we had back. I told him that what we had led to our problem. Why not modify it and do things differently; not make the same mistakes again? If he can't do that, then I'll know now that I am wasting my time.
I went on a date with D#1 tonight. I got weak!!
We had a good talk last night. He had been sending me text messages begging for forgiveness and admitting that he's an asshole. That part made me smile. I didn't have to even tell him! He called me, eventually, seeing as text message eventually get confusing when discussing something serious. I listened to what he had to say, but I made sure D#1 heard what I had to say.
Needless to say, it bothers me a bit that he has the same bottom line over and over again. He thinks that my irritation is solely in reference to his ogling of other females. In actuality, it's not. It's his behavior generally while intoxicated. It's the fact that he is the age that he is and was as irresponsible and insulting as he was. At first he didn't understand why it was such a big deal to me; and if he doesn't still, then I had a great free meal and probably the last for a minute.
D#1 now has boundaries and stipulations. There is to be no drinking around me. There is to be no threatening bodily harm to my friends. Actually, after some time has passed, it's up to him to make amends with my friends and make things right. He screwed his first impression with them and many others. K thinks I'm crazy and can't wait to say, "I told you so." He has other guidelines to follow as well.
I say, I have made things so strict for him that I will be surprised if he sticks around passed the weekend.
This is like having my own little bitch!
In the end, he said he wanted what we had back. I told him that what we had led to our problem. Why not modify it and do things differently; not make the same mistakes again? If he can't do that, then I'll know now that I am wasting my time.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sigh
I can't sleep tonight.
I'm a bit irritated.
D#1 is begging for forgiveness. I got short with my best friend for when he was trying to help me. I also think I scared D#2 a bit with my short temper.
I'm just in a mood.
Caution: Bitch on the loose!
Honestly, and sadly, I would like to know D#1 on a sober level, seeing as we have had a blast together recently. I'm having a difficult time seeing past that big red flag in front of his face, though! As for S, I apologized profusely, I feel terrible about it! I also apologized to D#2. I should have been more patient with my problems instead of letting the stress (work and non-work related) get to me right now.
I do have blackmail for D#1, should I agree to see him again. I have in my possession the photo of him passed out in front of bar. He even has a plastic cup hat! If he pisses me off again, you'll get to see it, too!!
I need a Girl's Night Out!
I'm a bit irritated.
D#1 is begging for forgiveness. I got short with my best friend for when he was trying to help me. I also think I scared D#2 a bit with my short temper.
I'm just in a mood.
Caution: Bitch on the loose!
Honestly, and sadly, I would like to know D#1 on a sober level, seeing as we have had a blast together recently. I'm having a difficult time seeing past that big red flag in front of his face, though! As for S, I apologized profusely, I feel terrible about it! I also apologized to D#2. I should have been more patient with my problems instead of letting the stress (work and non-work related) get to me right now.
I do have blackmail for D#1, should I agree to see him again. I have in my possession the photo of him passed out in front of bar. He even has a plastic cup hat! If he pisses me off again, you'll get to see it, too!!
I need a Girl's Night Out!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Stephanie's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Date
I feel like a bad person after my weekend. I know that I probably shouldn't.
Friday night started off very normal for me. D#1 was taking me out to go see a local band here in town, one I've seen several times before and was a little nervous about my behavior to come. Never in a million years did I think that D#1's behavior is what I should have worried about.
We get to the bar, he orders shots. "I'm only doing one, babe," I tell him. "I'm driving, k, and I have to work in the morning."
"OK" he answers. The night goes on as normal, we all chat and cut up at the table, dance to the music, have a blast.
Another hour later, more shots. Disrespect. I had met a couple of my friends at this bar and one of my friends and I head to the stage. I didn't want to do anymore shots. A few songs later, I work my way back to the table and find out that D#1 is obliterated. He's not just drunk, he's tore up. I also find out that he's been talking and rubbing up on other women while I've been away.
WTH???
I also find out that he just wants to get me, "Patroned Up," this coming from my friends of course.
Now, before I go any further, let's preface this!
I have known D#1 for three weeks at this point. I'm very turned off by this drunken behavior. I'm turned off by his staggering, wandering, now-grabbing self at this bar where he had balls enough to do this in front of my friends! I'm also extremely disappointed because he had presented himself to be an all-around nice, hard-working guy. He always got the door for me, which I really liked!! I know, cheesy.
I've known my friends much longer. They know more about what I've been through this year than most. They will always be looking out for me; I trust them for that. I understand I'm not the only one who's had a hard time, however, my friends are trying to make sure things don't get harder for me.
So, D#1 goes missing. With my car keys. And I want to go home. Twenty or thirty minutes later, I finally find his swaying self talking to a group of girls at the bar. I brushed into him to let him know I was behind him and he blew me off completely. I still didn't have my keys.
A few minutes later, he finds me, rests his head on my shoulder and starts the passing out process. I have no clue how many he's had by now, but I want to go home and I don't want to take him with me.
"Hey, give me my keys real quick." I held out my hands and he reached in his pocket to pause.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm just headed to the car to get something for K really quick," I answered. I want my keys so I can leave your drunk ass here to go home with some other bitch. I turned to go catch up with K outside for a second and he follows me. He wants to go with me!
"Hey, Babe, you're toasted!" I guided him to a chair. "Sit right here, I'm going to go with for a second, K?"
All he could do was nod. His eyes were glazed over and half shut. His mouth was hanging open and he couldn't stand anymore. For two seconds, I thought about getting him some water but I knew that it was a waste of my time. I also was pissed.
K and I pick up her sister down the street, walk back and we find him completely passed out at this time, in front of the bar. He looked like a conversation piece! We go back inside, party and play some more, have a good time. Meanwhile, I'm texting some of my friends to find out of if they are coming out, find a guy friend to walk me to my car. I knew that D#2 was at home and I really didn't need an escort home, just to my car!
No Luck.
1 am, I left. By myself.
My date was left up front, passed out in a chair with plastic cups thrown on him. Actually, a little bird told me there is a picture of this floating around the internet now!!!LMAO!!!
1:15 am, Roommate gets the d/l. We gather all of D#1's belongings together and make sure he has no reason to come in the apartment when he does make it back.
2 am, D#1 has made it back. D#2 answers the door gives him his bag and tells him to leave.
It was a TNT moment from here; he says he's forgotten something in my room, he's hidden cash. I nodded to D#2 that it was OK. He walks back to my room and doesn't see me in the kitchen. Something slammed. D#2 runs back to my room and starts walking him back to the front. D#1 sees me. D#1 is drunk and begins to curse me inherently to the devil. FYI, I'm an f'n whore and f'n bitch. He was so intoxicated, I don't think he had any other colorful metaphors to describe me.
D#2 steps up at this time, gives him two options: Leave or be put out. I love my new roommate!! "Dude, look you've got her in a corner. Just call her when your sober. I'll help you get your stuff to your truck."
The two D's leave.
Ten minutes later, they are still outside talking.
D#1 is crying like a baby.
Apparently, he denied all of it. He was never talking to other women, trying to get me patroned up and he never told anyone that I needed to stay with him for his money -- He loves me!!
Friday night started off very normal for me. D#1 was taking me out to go see a local band here in town, one I've seen several times before and was a little nervous about my behavior to come. Never in a million years did I think that D#1's behavior is what I should have worried about.
We get to the bar, he orders shots. "I'm only doing one, babe," I tell him. "I'm driving, k, and I have to work in the morning."
"OK" he answers. The night goes on as normal, we all chat and cut up at the table, dance to the music, have a blast.
Another hour later, more shots. Disrespect. I had met a couple of my friends at this bar and one of my friends and I head to the stage. I didn't want to do anymore shots. A few songs later, I work my way back to the table and find out that D#1 is obliterated. He's not just drunk, he's tore up. I also find out that he's been talking and rubbing up on other women while I've been away.
WTH???
I also find out that he just wants to get me, "Patroned Up," this coming from my friends of course.
Now, before I go any further, let's preface this!
I have known D#1 for three weeks at this point. I'm very turned off by this drunken behavior. I'm turned off by his staggering, wandering, now-grabbing self at this bar where he had balls enough to do this in front of my friends! I'm also extremely disappointed because he had presented himself to be an all-around nice, hard-working guy. He always got the door for me, which I really liked!! I know, cheesy.
I've known my friends much longer. They know more about what I've been through this year than most. They will always be looking out for me; I trust them for that. I understand I'm not the only one who's had a hard time, however, my friends are trying to make sure things don't get harder for me.
So, D#1 goes missing. With my car keys. And I want to go home. Twenty or thirty minutes later, I finally find his swaying self talking to a group of girls at the bar. I brushed into him to let him know I was behind him and he blew me off completely. I still didn't have my keys.
A few minutes later, he finds me, rests his head on my shoulder and starts the passing out process. I have no clue how many he's had by now, but I want to go home and I don't want to take him with me.
"Hey, give me my keys real quick." I held out my hands and he reached in his pocket to pause.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm just headed to the car to get something for K really quick," I answered. I want my keys so I can leave your drunk ass here to go home with some other bitch. I turned to go catch up with K outside for a second and he follows me. He wants to go with me!
"Hey, Babe, you're toasted!" I guided him to a chair. "Sit right here, I'm going to go with for a second, K?"
All he could do was nod. His eyes were glazed over and half shut. His mouth was hanging open and he couldn't stand anymore. For two seconds, I thought about getting him some water but I knew that it was a waste of my time. I also was pissed.
K and I pick up her sister down the street, walk back and we find him completely passed out at this time, in front of the bar. He looked like a conversation piece! We go back inside, party and play some more, have a good time. Meanwhile, I'm texting some of my friends to find out of if they are coming out, find a guy friend to walk me to my car. I knew that D#2 was at home and I really didn't need an escort home, just to my car!
No Luck.
1 am, I left. By myself.
My date was left up front, passed out in a chair with plastic cups thrown on him. Actually, a little bird told me there is a picture of this floating around the internet now!!!LMAO!!!
1:15 am, Roommate gets the d/l. We gather all of D#1's belongings together and make sure he has no reason to come in the apartment when he does make it back.
2 am, D#1 has made it back. D#2 answers the door gives him his bag and tells him to leave.
It was a TNT moment from here; he says he's forgotten something in my room, he's hidden cash. I nodded to D#2 that it was OK. He walks back to my room and doesn't see me in the kitchen. Something slammed. D#2 runs back to my room and starts walking him back to the front. D#1 sees me. D#1 is drunk and begins to curse me inherently to the devil. FYI, I'm an f'n whore and f'n bitch. He was so intoxicated, I don't think he had any other colorful metaphors to describe me.
D#2 steps up at this time, gives him two options: Leave or be put out. I love my new roommate!! "Dude, look you've got her in a corner. Just call her when your sober. I'll help you get your stuff to your truck."
The two D's leave.
Ten minutes later, they are still outside talking.
D#1 is crying like a baby.
Apparently, he denied all of it. He was never talking to other women, trying to get me patroned up and he never told anyone that I needed to stay with him for his money -- He loves me!!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Man in the house
My new roommate has moved in.
Let me tell you how chaotic this has been! It should be very easy for someone to move their paraphernalia in a home, however, you also have to move your stuff out so they have room for there's! Geez!!! I have a lot of stuff! Fortunately, I'm not a pack rat!
My guest room is where I had stored my Christmas decor. All of that has been consolidated and moved to a storage closet. The rest of the items in there were is to dispose.
I think I've found a good fit, for a roomie that is. D #2 works nights, I work days. To make things even more fun, he has several similarities with the guy I'm currently seeing (D #1). Keeping the conversations straight has been very interesting! Here's a list of what they have in common:
Let's just say that I have confused the history of these two more than once... But they've met each other, and to make it even more hilarious to me only maybe my roommate gets along with the guy I'm dating maybe better than I do! WTH?!
Let me tell you how chaotic this has been! It should be very easy for someone to move their paraphernalia in a home, however, you also have to move your stuff out so they have room for there's! Geez!!! I have a lot of stuff! Fortunately, I'm not a pack rat!
My guest room is where I had stored my Christmas decor. All of that has been consolidated and moved to a storage closet. The rest of the items in there were is to dispose.
I think I've found a good fit, for a roomie that is. D #2 works nights, I work days. To make things even more fun, he has several similarities with the guy I'm currently seeing (D #1). Keeping the conversations straight has been very interesting! Here's a list of what they have in common:
- Both have the same name
- Both are from the same state
- Both are in the same industry
- Both work long hours
- Both raised cocker spaniels
- Both cook Yes!!!!
Let's just say that I have confused the history of these two more than once... But they've met each other, and to make it even more hilarious to me only maybe my roommate gets along with the guy I'm dating maybe better than I do! WTH?!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Upgrading
I'm so excited to announce that I have invested in a new laptop!
Gone are the days where I type faster than the slow computer can process. So long days of waiting endlessly for Facebook to load. Screw you "Internet Connection Failed" messages!!!
Really, I am very pleased with my new machine! I'm actually very surprised with it. I bought and Acer off of TigerDirect.com. It's even got this handy little camera mounted on the monitor so I can take pictures! Like this!!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Fireworks
What a crazy week and weekend it's been!! Hope everyone had a great fourth! Mine was spent on the lake with all of my friends and their children - food and beer included. It was awesome! Until I lost my house keys!! That didn't ruin my weekend, though! The fireworks were great, the water was awesome and I had a blast! Thanks to Dee Ann for having us all over!!
Met a couple of potential roommates as well this weekend. Oh the decisions I will have to make -- but more on that later!!
I have come to a conclusion that I need a list! I have attracted too many weirdos. I'm just a magnet for them. So I'm going to make a list - a big, long, picky list of requirements that a guy has to meet before I can go out on a date with him. Certainly that should nip some of this in the bud!!
Met a couple of potential roommates as well this weekend. Oh the decisions I will have to make -- but more on that later!!
I have come to a conclusion that I need a list! I have attracted too many weirdos. I'm just a magnet for them. So I'm going to make a list - a big, long, picky list of requirements that a guy has to meet before I can go out on a date with him. Certainly that should nip some of this in the bud!!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Need a moment
I don't particularly care to bitch on here that often. I realize that my thoughts are up here for the world to read. That's probably one of the main reasons I haven't written as much lately -- I just don't want to come across as bitchy but I have to do this...at this point, I'm just frustrated.
Let me start with this: Dating is stupid. Men are stupid. Most men are just boys.
Here's why: guy #1, date a bit, we move in opposite directions, no love lost. Now, ding-dong wants to know why I don't speak to him anymore, if he can come over and "cuddle," and if we can be "special friends." Really?? How about a big fat no when you showed up at my apartment unannounced and when you told me you were at my door at 3 am another time, and really weren't even there?! That is a big fat, "Stay the hell away from me!"
Guy #2, Cool guy, fun to hang around. I love to hang out with him because there is no pressure at all! Pretty open relationship, able to date/see other people, free to hang out with friends, with each other or with each other and our friends. Just a fun person - Until I found out he tried to pick up a friend of mine at that bar...is that jealousy??? Wth???
Guy #3, Total sweetheart. I can't say enough good thing about him. I'm just not ready to give him what he's looking for - despite the fact he still wants it from me. I have to say for a minute that I thought maybe I could try but let me honestly say that I'm so far from that right now. What I need more of right now are friends who are just there for me but allow me my space when I need it.
The reason I bring this up?? Because all of it is unnecessary drama! Every ounce of it! This is why dating is stupid, this is why it's a waste of my time, this is why I didn't want to date to begin with.
I don't understand why things have to be blown out of proportion, why some people just don't take what you say for what it's worth. I don't understand why some people don't understand that no means no. I don't get why men are so...persistent and dead set on making sure the crazy one's are only attracted to me! That's for another time!
And men say women are complicated - I say men complicate women!
I know at least of the three reads this blog, however, I wish all three did. This is my message to them, and yes, to all you guidance counselors, I have said this bluntly, I hate drama. I've had enough drama in my life the last year, to be exact, and I want no more of it. I want to be selfish for once and have me time. I don't have to justify it. I don't have to excuse it. I don't have to explain myself. Quite frankly, it's none of your damned business what I do with my time, and if you don't like it, do what I told you to do in the beginning and move on. I've had enough bullshit to deal with, especially in the last six months, and quite frankly, your bullshit is not even close to the hell I've been through.
Don't bring drama into my home and expect me to pet your ego. Don't take things so seriously. If you can't, find someone else who finds it just as important as you do...I don't want your drama.
Let me start with this: Dating is stupid. Men are stupid. Most men are just boys.
Here's why: guy #1, date a bit, we move in opposite directions, no love lost. Now, ding-dong wants to know why I don't speak to him anymore, if he can come over and "cuddle," and if we can be "special friends." Really?? How about a big fat no when you showed up at my apartment unannounced and when you told me you were at my door at 3 am another time, and really weren't even there?! That is a big fat, "Stay the hell away from me!"
Guy #2, Cool guy, fun to hang around. I love to hang out with him because there is no pressure at all! Pretty open relationship, able to date/see other people, free to hang out with friends, with each other or with each other and our friends. Just a fun person - Until I found out he tried to pick up a friend of mine at that bar...is that jealousy??? Wth???
Guy #3, Total sweetheart. I can't say enough good thing about him. I'm just not ready to give him what he's looking for - despite the fact he still wants it from me. I have to say for a minute that I thought maybe I could try but let me honestly say that I'm so far from that right now. What I need more of right now are friends who are just there for me but allow me my space when I need it.
The reason I bring this up?? Because all of it is unnecessary drama! Every ounce of it! This is why dating is stupid, this is why it's a waste of my time, this is why I didn't want to date to begin with.
I don't understand why things have to be blown out of proportion, why some people just don't take what you say for what it's worth. I don't understand why some people don't understand that no means no. I don't get why men are so...persistent and dead set on making sure the crazy one's are only attracted to me! That's for another time!
And men say women are complicated - I say men complicate women!
I know at least of the three reads this blog, however, I wish all three did. This is my message to them, and yes, to all you guidance counselors, I have said this bluntly, I hate drama. I've had enough drama in my life the last year, to be exact, and I want no more of it. I want to be selfish for once and have me time. I don't have to justify it. I don't have to excuse it. I don't have to explain myself. Quite frankly, it's none of your damned business what I do with my time, and if you don't like it, do what I told you to do in the beginning and move on. I've had enough bullshit to deal with, especially in the last six months, and quite frankly, your bullshit is not even close to the hell I've been through.
Don't bring drama into my home and expect me to pet your ego. Don't take things so seriously. If you can't, find someone else who finds it just as important as you do...I don't want your drama.
Sounds like you've got a case of the Mondays!!
Yesterday was just one of those long days. Everyone seemed to be in the Monday funk. And that Monday funk started, for me, when we had to put out keys (which are another story in of itself, entirely!)
The keys had been put in a box. No big deal. We all sorted out the mess and marched outside and started locating cars. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. At least, not until we got to the Sonatas.
Just to let you know, some trims levels are a lot, A LOT, more popular than others. Those others may sit there a minute and sometimes a light may have been left on, a door ajar, something that has run the battery down. So we had to jump off a few Sonatas. No big deal.
Right. No big deal til I got to lift the hood on the white one with an f'n wasps nest in it!!!
I don't know if you know this about me or not...I am deathly afraid of those things.
So D comes to the rescue and puts the charger on the car while I'm in the driver's seat, freaking out! The only thing I could think of was to leave the door open in case on of those pointed-ass bastards came through an air vent!
All of a sudden, D, who is a nice size dude, starts screaming, "Crank it already!! I'm going to get stung!!"
Ohhhh yeah.... I forgot you were over there!!
The keys had been put in a box. No big deal. We all sorted out the mess and marched outside and started locating cars. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. At least, not until we got to the Sonatas.
Just to let you know, some trims levels are a lot, A LOT, more popular than others. Those others may sit there a minute and sometimes a light may have been left on, a door ajar, something that has run the battery down. So we had to jump off a few Sonatas. No big deal.
Right. No big deal til I got to lift the hood on the white one with an f'n wasps nest in it!!!
I don't know if you know this about me or not...I am deathly afraid of those things.
So D comes to the rescue and puts the charger on the car while I'm in the driver's seat, freaking out! The only thing I could think of was to leave the door open in case on of those pointed-ass bastards came through an air vent!
All of a sudden, D, who is a nice size dude, starts screaming, "Crank it already!! I'm going to get stung!!"
Ohhhh yeah.... I forgot you were over there!!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
The one where he got my number
I've been wanting to write this one for awhile.
Several weeks back, my friends threw me a "Freedom Party," for lack of a better term.
I had just found out that my divorce was final and was ex tactic! Free! Free!! Free!!! After several months of unending headaches, I finally was divorced. So we celebrated at a local bar in town where a band was playing.
The band, who is coming to town again soon and I can't wait to go see again, found out that I was newly single. At the same time, in the bar with us was a bachelorette party. Now, this is the part of the evening that, yes, is a bit groggy. A bit, a bit.
I was dressed in a black shirt and tight jeans. The stress I've been through has done wonders for the body, I tell you! My friend, who threw this party for me, was wearing nothing but a bra/vest type deal and even tighter jeans. Hate her...she pulled it off!!! Up on the stage we're pulled, shots being passed around everywhere.
I look over to my right and on stage with me is this poor, pitiful looking bride. I wanted to slap sense into her like someone should have done to me. My friend grabbed the microphone, screamed, "DON'T DO IT!" as the innocent was being introduced. She looked so happy; taking advantage of the last thread of wild in her. The crowd gave a clap while she raised her drink and spun around, holding the clumsy veil on her head.
I thought, "You look like you're about to be sacrificed." Meanwhile, I heard my name called.
"And this girl, ladies and gentlemen, very big night for her. While the other girl is getting married next week, Stephanie, is celebrating her divorce!!!" The next thing I know, the room is going A.P.E.S.H.I.T!!!! More drinks are being passed around, someone is dancing with me onstage, I'm getting high fives and congratulations...
It was crazy!!
Finally, I get back to my table after the journey of high fives and shots. How I hadn't fallen in my high heels is beyond me.
About that time, a very tall guy comes our way. I knew for certain he headed for my friend. I brushed him off until he sat next to me and leaned in.
"Crazy night, huh?"
"Yeah," I was pretty shy about meeting new people. Give me a break. It'd been a few months but meeting people in a bar was definitely not on my top ten things to do. "It's good to get out and have some fun, tho!!"
He had on a ball cap and a pressed polo shirt. His crooked little smile made his eyes sparkle a bit. But it was very dark, making out his face again would be difficult. I looked down and started playing with my phone.
"Hey, I like that phone!" He pointed to my toy. "Can I see it a sec?"
"Uh, sure?"
"So, are you from here?"
"Not originally."
He looked up from my phone a moment, "You don't sound southern."
"Well, I am...just not good with the accent!" I laughed. Sometimes I tend to sound a bit Yankee. I get made fun of for it, too.
"Well, I just put my number in your phone. Text me sometime!"
What the hell?!
Several weeks back, my friends threw me a "Freedom Party," for lack of a better term.
I had just found out that my divorce was final and was ex tactic! Free! Free!! Free!!! After several months of unending headaches, I finally was divorced. So we celebrated at a local bar in town where a band was playing.
The band, who is coming to town again soon and I can't wait to go see again, found out that I was newly single. At the same time, in the bar with us was a bachelorette party. Now, this is the part of the evening that, yes, is a bit groggy. A bit, a bit.
I was dressed in a black shirt and tight jeans. The stress I've been through has done wonders for the body, I tell you! My friend, who threw this party for me, was wearing nothing but a bra/vest type deal and even tighter jeans. Hate her...she pulled it off!!! Up on the stage we're pulled, shots being passed around everywhere.
I look over to my right and on stage with me is this poor, pitiful looking bride. I wanted to slap sense into her like someone should have done to me. My friend grabbed the microphone, screamed, "DON'T DO IT!" as the innocent was being introduced. She looked so happy; taking advantage of the last thread of wild in her. The crowd gave a clap while she raised her drink and spun around, holding the clumsy veil on her head.
I thought, "You look like you're about to be sacrificed." Meanwhile, I heard my name called.
"And this girl, ladies and gentlemen, very big night for her. While the other girl is getting married next week, Stephanie, is celebrating her divorce!!!" The next thing I know, the room is going A.P.E.S.H.I.T!!!! More drinks are being passed around, someone is dancing with me onstage, I'm getting high fives and congratulations...
It was crazy!!
Finally, I get back to my table after the journey of high fives and shots. How I hadn't fallen in my high heels is beyond me.
About that time, a very tall guy comes our way. I knew for certain he headed for my friend. I brushed him off until he sat next to me and leaned in.
"Crazy night, huh?"
"Yeah," I was pretty shy about meeting new people. Give me a break. It'd been a few months but meeting people in a bar was definitely not on my top ten things to do. "It's good to get out and have some fun, tho!!"
He had on a ball cap and a pressed polo shirt. His crooked little smile made his eyes sparkle a bit. But it was very dark, making out his face again would be difficult. I looked down and started playing with my phone.
"Hey, I like that phone!" He pointed to my toy. "Can I see it a sec?"
"Uh, sure?"
"So, are you from here?"
"Not originally."
He looked up from my phone a moment, "You don't sound southern."
"Well, I am...just not good with the accent!" I laughed. Sometimes I tend to sound a bit Yankee. I get made fun of for it, too.
"Well, I just put my number in your phone. Text me sometime!"
What the hell?!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Oh Holy Hell!!!
Just to make things more awkwardly hysterical, one of the persons in the previous post has a blog, and it took two clicks from my blog to find her!!
Does that mean it will take two clicks from her page to find me??
Does that mean it will take two clicks from her page to find me??
I have Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome
This week has been filled with nothing but awkward moments. Two in particular that left the room filled with that silent moment where everyone was looking at the elephant in the room.
Recently, about once a week, I've been meeting my friend Heather for coffee. I love Heather. She is one of the sweetest, most genuine people in the world. She's probably the best friend a person could have! During one of our weekly coffee jaunts, she mentioned her study group was starting a movie study. It would begin Tuesday and the girls would watch Fried Green Tomatoes. I love that movie! Bud-dyyyy!!! Can't watch it and not cry.
Tuesday, she picks me up and we go to her friends house. We were early (yes, it is in writing that I was early somewhere) and one other woman came in shortly after us.
I didn't pay her much attention, other than our hairstyles were quite similar. Lots of waves, shoulder length and hers was red. She was older than me and had a welcoming face.
"Stephanie, this is Kristen, she's my attorney," Heather introduced.
Bell is ringing.
"Hi, it's nice to meet you. What's your firm?"
"Kristen Love," she answered. DING DING DING DING
Stephanie, don't say what you're about to say!! "I thought you looked familiar! You're one of the first attorneys I visited when I was getting my divorce!"
Doh!!!
Last night capped my "Insert Foot Here" moments when an old co-worker came into town for a visit.
Not having seen my friend in months, I really wanted to go out with everyone to go get a drink and catch up. At some point, we landed at The Booth, where an acquaintance was having her birthday party. I don't know her very well, I used to work with her late brother. However, I did frequent her salon to get my hair done, and that's where I was introduced to one of my favorite hairstylists ever.
If you're not a girl, you don't understand. Let me give you an idea. Hair is expensive. Thick hair like mine is even more expensive to cut and color. I don't go often and am always looking for someone who can do a good job for less than $50. It's very difficult to find. Until I met Jennifer who does an awesome job and under $50! She rocks! I also liken it breaking up with someone when I leave a good hair stylist. I didn't tell Rachel I wasn't going to see her anymore.
Whilst sipping my beer, I looked over my shoulder, and hear, "Why did you stop seeing me?!!!"
Shit! "I was broke?"
Recently, about once a week, I've been meeting my friend Heather for coffee. I love Heather. She is one of the sweetest, most genuine people in the world. She's probably the best friend a person could have! During one of our weekly coffee jaunts, she mentioned her study group was starting a movie study. It would begin Tuesday and the girls would watch Fried Green Tomatoes. I love that movie! Bud-dyyyy!!! Can't watch it and not cry.
Tuesday, she picks me up and we go to her friends house. We were early (yes, it is in writing that I was early somewhere) and one other woman came in shortly after us.
I didn't pay her much attention, other than our hairstyles were quite similar. Lots of waves, shoulder length and hers was red. She was older than me and had a welcoming face.
"Stephanie, this is Kristen, she's my attorney," Heather introduced.
Bell is ringing.
"Hi, it's nice to meet you. What's your firm?"
"Kristen Love," she answered. DING DING DING DING
Stephanie, don't say what you're about to say!! "I thought you looked familiar! You're one of the first attorneys I visited when I was getting my divorce!"
Doh!!!
Last night capped my "Insert Foot Here" moments when an old co-worker came into town for a visit.
Not having seen my friend in months, I really wanted to go out with everyone to go get a drink and catch up. At some point, we landed at The Booth, where an acquaintance was having her birthday party. I don't know her very well, I used to work with her late brother. However, I did frequent her salon to get my hair done, and that's where I was introduced to one of my favorite hairstylists ever.
If you're not a girl, you don't understand. Let me give you an idea. Hair is expensive. Thick hair like mine is even more expensive to cut and color. I don't go often and am always looking for someone who can do a good job for less than $50. It's very difficult to find. Until I met Jennifer who does an awesome job and under $50! She rocks! I also liken it breaking up with someone when I leave a good hair stylist. I didn't tell Rachel I wasn't going to see her anymore.
Whilst sipping my beer, I looked over my shoulder, and hear, "Why did you stop seeing me?!!!"
Shit! "I was broke?"
Monday, May 11, 2009
The one where Stephanie takes an Ambien...
I have advice for you. If you are instructed to take any sleep medication called Ambien, take it exactly as prescribed. In fact, if your doctor gives you a prescription, as for a lower dose! Then, follow his directions very closely; never stray. It's vital that you never go more than two months between dosages as well. The results can be rather...embarrassing.
I had a long weekend. It was an awesome, fantastic weekend. It was Mother's Day! I had family time, friend time, social activities! I even sold half a car! It was a very pleasant and memorable weekend.
It was also tiring, and I don't have the best time sleeping and staying asleep these days. That is why I have Ambien.
I don't like this medication. It works, I sleep, however, I wake up feeling like I am a bottle of whiskey rather than having had a full nights sleep. Also, I've heard of the nightmares that can happen while on this drug. From people talking to walls, sleepwalking, even driving somewhere while asleep! I make sure to take it when I can devote more than 9 hours to sleep!
That was last night. I had 9 hours to sleep, despite the few hours left until the beginning of my work week. At 8:45 pm, I took my little white pill, made sure my door was locked, hid my keys, grabbed my dog and laid in the bed. At 6:00 am this morning, I woke up, groggy and hung over, and looked through my phone for any missed messages. I didn't remember much of the previous night, however, my friend, M, did. This is what I found out:
I had a long weekend. It was an awesome, fantastic weekend. It was Mother's Day! I had family time, friend time, social activities! I even sold half a car! It was a very pleasant and memorable weekend.
It was also tiring, and I don't have the best time sleeping and staying asleep these days. That is why I have Ambien.
I don't like this medication. It works, I sleep, however, I wake up feeling like I am a bottle of whiskey rather than having had a full nights sleep. Also, I've heard of the nightmares that can happen while on this drug. From people talking to walls, sleepwalking, even driving somewhere while asleep! I make sure to take it when I can devote more than 9 hours to sleep!
That was last night. I had 9 hours to sleep, despite the few hours left until the beginning of my work week. At 8:45 pm, I took my little white pill, made sure my door was locked, hid my keys, grabbed my dog and laid in the bed. At 6:00 am this morning, I woke up, groggy and hung over, and looked through my phone for any missed messages. I didn't remember much of the previous night, however, my friend, M, did. This is what I found out:
Usual morning text to M, "Good Morning!"
M: Good Morning! How was your Ambien sleep?
Me: Uhh..Good? Slept hard, lots of dreams!
Oh shit! I talked in my sleep!
Me: OMG I TALKED IN MY SLEEP DIDN'T I??!
M: Yes. You did.
Me: About what??
M: Mardi Gras, archbishops, fishing. U said the room was crowded with people in mardi gras costumes. U likd the white padded and crystal rooms.
Me: Fishing!!?
M: You said Ambien had a little car that took you from room to room and you want to find the cyrstal room again.
M: The xmen were hanging banners and wanted 2 b treated normal, the guy in the chair wouldn't stop staring at u, there were 2 kids playing b ball, ne going fishin
M: People on the mountain singing, u were at Target, you couldn't get Ambien's car started...
Me: I'm so embarrassed!
M: Don't be!
Me: Why didn't you hang up on me?!
M: You were cute and you said that you didn't want me to hang up!
Me: LMAO! I was obviously asleep! I'd have never known!! How long did I talk???
M: An hour.
The Truth Hurts
I have come to the conclusion that this blog is not possible without me being honest about the events in my life. That doesn't mean I have to give you any details, however, that does mean that all the good stories I have to write end up, in some way or another, revolving around a major event in my life.
That leaves me no choice but to admit a major and personal piece of information to you I care not to go into detail about, nor ever will I.
Let me keep it simple by saying that I am now divorced and happier than I ever thought possible.
I hate it for you if you like the really juicy shit. That won't fit on the blog...Blogger's server isn't big enough!
That leaves me no choice but to admit a major and personal piece of information to you I care not to go into detail about, nor ever will I.
Let me keep it simple by saying that I am now divorced and happier than I ever thought possible.
I hate it for you if you like the really juicy shit. That won't fit on the blog...Blogger's server isn't big enough!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Who says safety has to be an issue!!
Did you know the Blue Angels were in town? If you live in Alabama and didn't know that, welcome back from under that rock you've been living underneath. It has been a very fun week in Tuscaloosa! Always something flying over!
Except for the Blue Angels...
I've been teased all week long. You can hear them, but where I work, you can' see them! So many of my friends send me texts:
Another friend of mine from work went on Saturday, too. It was a beautiful day yesterday! The sun was out, not a cloud in the sky, you could hear the planes, people were everywhere in Tuscaloosa. My friend correctly predicted this would happen. When James Spann says "storms" in the forecast, people duck and run. Storms are in the forecast for today...
So while my friend was hanging out at the airport, grilling out, drinking a beer at Tuscaloosa's small airport Saturday - on the most beautiful day we've had in weeks - I was working, waiting impatiently for my turn to see the much heard of Blue Angels!
I wake up this morning, fix my coffee, sit down with dog, turn on the computer and enjoy the silent hum it makes while it boots. Then, a familiar sound of thunder starts to rumble. Are the planes already coming in? It's a little early... Then a huge flash of light, a loud clap of thunder and the April showers start.
I can't listen to the Blue Angels all week and NOT see them.
Gates open in one hour and 39 minutes. It's not raining near like it was earlier...but given the slight chance that it could continue, I'm going to have to demand that the Blue Angels and all other stunt and show planes fly today. I feel like I'm being teased... Safety? What safety! A little rain never hurt people jumping out of planes with parachutes!!!
Except for the Blue Angels...
I've been teased all week long. You can hear them, but where I work, you can' see them! So many of my friends send me texts:
Friend #1: I just saw the Blue Angels fly over!!
Me: Oh! Awesome! I can hear them, too! Maybe they'll fly over the dealership soon!
Friend #1: Well they scared [Child] to death! They are loud! I didn't know what it was!!
Me: O I hope 2 c them soon!! Tell them to fly over here!
Friend #2: The Blue Angels are practicing over my building!!
Me: Oh neat! Wat r they doin? I'm going 2 c them Sun! Can't wait!
Friend #2: Flying upside down!! You should go Sat! It's going 2 b beautiful!
Me: Can't. Have 2 work. Chance of rain down for Sun, tho.
Friend #2: They are flying so low you can see the pilot! They just waved!
Another friend of mine from work went on Saturday, too. It was a beautiful day yesterday! The sun was out, not a cloud in the sky, you could hear the planes, people were everywhere in Tuscaloosa. My friend correctly predicted this would happen. When James Spann says "storms" in the forecast, people duck and run. Storms are in the forecast for today...
So while my friend was hanging out at the airport, grilling out, drinking a beer at Tuscaloosa's small airport Saturday - on the most beautiful day we've had in weeks - I was working, waiting impatiently for my turn to see the much heard of Blue Angels!
I wake up this morning, fix my coffee, sit down with dog, turn on the computer and enjoy the silent hum it makes while it boots. Then, a familiar sound of thunder starts to rumble. Are the planes already coming in? It's a little early... Then a huge flash of light, a loud clap of thunder and the April showers start.
I can't listen to the Blue Angels all week and NOT see them.
Gates open in one hour and 39 minutes. It's not raining near like it was earlier...but given the slight chance that it could continue, I'm going to have to demand that the Blue Angels and all other stunt and show planes fly today. I feel like I'm being teased... Safety? What safety! A little rain never hurt people jumping out of planes with parachutes!!!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Burned. Out.
If you have anything Pampered Chef, then you know what a Micro Cooker is. If you don't, let me define it.
Micro Cooker: God's gift to the cooking impaired.
Cooking Impaired: Me!
I cook everything in my micro cooker! EVERYTHING! Chicken, rice, you name it! It's the cooker to end all cookers!!
And it's dirty.
This morning, I was in a rush and didn't really have to thoroughly clean my micro cooker but I really wanted chicken to go on my salad for lunch. It was a quarrel amongst myself. Clean the micro cooker or bake the chicken; and both took too long!
Last night, I marinated my chicken, I tenderized my chicken. I had it ready to go!! And all I had to do was put it in the micro cooker. It's just this black plastic bowl with a lid - I thought surely my corningwear would substitute just fine!
So, into the microwave it went. I shut the door and punched in the buttons; 10-12 minutes should do. I'll check on it at the 11 mark.
I ran back into the bathroom to finish getting ready for work. My hair dryer has been sparky lately and my hair takes a lot longer to dry than it has before, so I never knew it when I was way past minute 12...until I smelled the smoke.
By now I was dressed for work and running late. I saw the smoke billowing from the microwave. Not again I thought. I pulled open the black machine to find the entire inside of my microwave caked in marinade. Lying on the now crusty glass was my chicken, not a third the size it used to be, charcoal black.
Lesson I learned? I only catch things on fire at my apartment. Evidence that it's not me - it's the apartment!!!
And for all of you who asked on my Twitter and Facebook pages, THAT is how you set chicken on fire!
Micro Cooker: God's gift to the cooking impaired.
Cooking Impaired: Me!
I cook everything in my micro cooker! EVERYTHING! Chicken, rice, you name it! It's the cooker to end all cookers!!
And it's dirty.
This morning, I was in a rush and didn't really have to thoroughly clean my micro cooker but I really wanted chicken to go on my salad for lunch. It was a quarrel amongst myself. Clean the micro cooker or bake the chicken; and both took too long!
Last night, I marinated my chicken, I tenderized my chicken. I had it ready to go!! And all I had to do was put it in the micro cooker. It's just this black plastic bowl with a lid - I thought surely my corningwear would substitute just fine!
So, into the microwave it went. I shut the door and punched in the buttons; 10-12 minutes should do. I'll check on it at the 11 mark.
I ran back into the bathroom to finish getting ready for work. My hair dryer has been sparky lately and my hair takes a lot longer to dry than it has before, so I never knew it when I was way past minute 12...until I smelled the smoke.
By now I was dressed for work and running late. I saw the smoke billowing from the microwave. Not again I thought. I pulled open the black machine to find the entire inside of my microwave caked in marinade. Lying on the now crusty glass was my chicken, not a third the size it used to be, charcoal black.
Lesson I learned? I only catch things on fire at my apartment. Evidence that it's not me - it's the apartment!!!
And for all of you who asked on my Twitter and Facebook pages, THAT is how you set chicken on fire!
The Day the Music Died
So, I'm a terrible blogger.
Maybe not terrible, but not habitual like I used to be.
There is a reason for it. Are you going to get that reason? Not right now - though it would open up the door for me to write MANY more stories!
There are so many things I've needed to have been writing recently. Most of them I can't at this present time. Life is too hectic. But it does calm down. Some other things, goals, I want to write about and can't because it would compromise other positions. That makes me sound like a spy!! Cool!! Let's just say that in several months, this blog is going to read like a sick romance novel!!
I'll get Fabio to pose for the header!!!
Maybe not terrible, but not habitual like I used to be.
There is a reason for it. Are you going to get that reason? Not right now - though it would open up the door for me to write MANY more stories!
There are so many things I've needed to have been writing recently. Most of them I can't at this present time. Life is too hectic. But it does calm down. Some other things, goals, I want to write about and can't because it would compromise other positions. That makes me sound like a spy!! Cool!! Let's just say that in several months, this blog is going to read like a sick romance novel!!
I'll get Fabio to pose for the header!!!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Much ado about Neighbors
I am going to the gym twice a day now. I really rather enjoy it. Honestly, I can't say I go twice a day, everyday, however, I can say that majority of my free time is now spent at the gym!
Why on earth would you spend so much free time there!! you ask??
It's simple.
My downstairs neighbors are loud. Not just noisy, but L.O.U.D.
For example; yesterday, I come in from Calera in the evening around 9. I live in a predominately quiet area, until you get to my front door. I run up the stairs, slide in my key. Somebody sure is thumpin'! I think. Open the door, flip on the light and realize, Oh, that's my neighbor!
Currently, they are watching a montage of music videos. I just heard some Johnny Cash. Right now, it's a heavy metal song I haven't ID'd yet.
Why haven't you don't something about this??! Oh the craziness of that idea! If I had money for every time I've called the police on them and they still not turn the volume down, I wouldn't have to work anymore. And the landlord? She has sent letters and made phonecalls.
Why can't they get the point?? I think they are now turning things up out of spite! If I hadn't of already called the police on them a few hundred times, I might take initiative to knock on their door and say, "Turn that down!!" Instead, I spend most of my evenings at the gym so by the time I get home, they are already in bed asleep!!
It hasn't been all that bad, though...Right...The other night they had a party. I think it was a Mardi Gras party. Several of their friends came over and they sang karaoke till midnight! It was a great time had by all! Especially when I was in my room on the other end of my apartment and they were still in the living room singing Pearl Jam for the 8th time. Did you know drunk men tend to sing the same song over and over again?? I didn't! And the following night, they listened to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, which is my favorite Pink Floyd album - seriously! So that night wasn't too awfully bad.
It's nights like right now where I wish I could be like Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men and take a remote to their window and turn down their TV and stereo...
Why on earth would you spend so much free time there!! you ask??
It's simple.
My downstairs neighbors are loud. Not just noisy, but L.O.U.D.
For example; yesterday, I come in from Calera in the evening around 9. I live in a predominately quiet area, until you get to my front door. I run up the stairs, slide in my key. Somebody sure is thumpin'! I think. Open the door, flip on the light and realize, Oh, that's my neighbor!
Currently, they are watching a montage of music videos. I just heard some Johnny Cash. Right now, it's a heavy metal song I haven't ID'd yet.
Why haven't you don't something about this??! Oh the craziness of that idea! If I had money for every time I've called the police on them and they still not turn the volume down, I wouldn't have to work anymore. And the landlord? She has sent letters and made phonecalls.
Why can't they get the point?? I think they are now turning things up out of spite! If I hadn't of already called the police on them a few hundred times, I might take initiative to knock on their door and say, "Turn that down!!" Instead, I spend most of my evenings at the gym so by the time I get home, they are already in bed asleep!!
It hasn't been all that bad, though...Right...The other night they had a party. I think it was a Mardi Gras party. Several of their friends came over and they sang karaoke till midnight! It was a great time had by all! Especially when I was in my room on the other end of my apartment and they were still in the living room singing Pearl Jam for the 8th time. Did you know drunk men tend to sing the same song over and over again?? I didn't! And the following night, they listened to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, which is my favorite Pink Floyd album - seriously! So that night wasn't too awfully bad.
It's nights like right now where I wish I could be like Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men and take a remote to their window and turn down their TV and stereo...
Saturday, February 21, 2009
So I got shot in the ass the other day...
I have a new theory. I'm sure several people nationally, globally, even universally share this theory with me.
I had Laryngitis this week. Well, actually, it started a week ago today, the day before the race. I have been squeaking everywhere!
Tuesday, I had a day off from work. That morning, I squeaked to the doctor's office and held up my notepad.
"I have no voice," it read.
The nurse behind the counter peered up at me like a librarian trying to see above her reading glasses. She was trying not to laugh but couldn't help it. By Tuesday, I was a little irritated. I'd been going around with a notepad for three days and it's not always the best way to get some one's attention. So to say I was slightly annoyed when she answered the phone instead of handing me the insurance forms to fill out would be polite.
"I made an appointment?" I wrote down. She just nodded her head and handed me the clipboard.
I sighed and took a seat in the waiting room. It was filled with a plethora of people. This was my second visit to this doctor's office. The first time was three years ago, for the same problem. Think I should have my tonsils taken out? The room hadn't changed a bit. It was the same grouping of chairs, positioned against the same blue walls. The chairs lined the walls and the entrance as if to divide the room in to two groups: the sick and the non-sick.
After several minutes of being forced FoxNews and how terrible our economy is (bullshit!), I finally heard my name called to the back.
Following the same procedures as last time, and using my trusty notepad, I told the doctor what was ailing me. He called for the xray, a shot in my ass, some cough syrup and some antibiotics.
He also asked me if I'd ever broken my nose.
"No," I wrote down.
"Are you sure?"
I looked at him puzzled. "I think I would remember that..." I jotted down quickly. "Why?"
"Oh, cause you're nose is crooked," answer the ENT Dr. like it was no big deal. He pulled up the xray and flipped the switch. His pen flew up to where my nostrils were printed on the film. "See, you're nose leans to the left."
I came here because I lost my voice! "And?" I mouthed out.
He shrugged, "No, biggie, just curious."
He wrote down the Rx's and handed them to me. Then he quickly pulled out a second sheet of paper that mimicked the Rx form. It was the same shape, font and style.
"Now you know, with this antibiotic, there is a strong chance you'll have some 'feminine issues'?" he asked.
I shook my head. I didn't understand where he was going.
"Just make sure you eat plenty of yogurt, take your vitamins and drink you're orange juice." He handed me the second sheet and I quickly glanced to the point of his warning. The word "yeast" jumped off the page.
This is where the theory comes in to play: Explain to me how an antibiotic prescribed to treat and 'infection' can cause an 'infection'?????????
I stumped you didn't I???
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
How did I do?
So the race was Sunday.
It was awesome! That was one of the best experiences of my life and I will definately be participating in another half, maybe a full marathon, the future!!
My finish time was actually faster than I thought, 2:32:20. In women 25-29, I finished 214, overall I finished 2294 (that's out of 2954 people), I finished 1,040 out of all women and ranked 214 for my first half-marathon.
There were so many people! I don't think I've ever seen that many people before in my life! I was running down one street and watching a herd of people run down another street a few blocks away from me, meanwhile, there is still a huge mass of people behind me! It was I.N.S.A.N.E!!!!
My favorite part was the two women playing "Eye of the Tiger" under the train tracks on there accordian. Oh, and the runner in the too-too. They were great!
It was awesome! That was one of the best experiences of my life and I will definately be participating in another half, maybe a full marathon, the future!!
My finish time was actually faster than I thought, 2:32:20. In women 25-29, I finished 214, overall I finished 2294 (that's out of 2954 people), I finished 1,040 out of all women and ranked 214 for my first half-marathon.
There were so many people! I don't think I've ever seen that many people before in my life! I was running down one street and watching a herd of people run down another street a few blocks away from me, meanwhile, there is still a huge mass of people behind me! It was I.N.S.A.N.E!!!!
My favorite part was the two women playing "Eye of the Tiger" under the train tracks on there accordian. Oh, and the runner in the too-too. They were great!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Rattling Nerves
The race is Sunday! I'm so nervous!
I'm so excited at the same time! I can't believe it's already here!!
I've finished all the training and right now I'm tapering so the only thing I have left to do is run 13.1 miles!
I'm still dealing with some life changing events right now so I can't tell you how good this race has ended up being for me. It's really helped me through a difficult time in my life right now. I really don't care to go into any further detail about my life - eventhough this blog is about my personal life. But believe me, there are some funny stories going on right now that I will be able to laugh about until my sides hurt! I'm just not ready to discuss it, yet, and quite frankly, I'm not sure when I will be ready. Just pray for me! And pray I don't get injured this weekend!
I'm so excited! I hope I don't get stuck behind the balloon lady!
I'm so excited at the same time! I can't believe it's already here!!
I've finished all the training and right now I'm tapering so the only thing I have left to do is run 13.1 miles!
I'm still dealing with some life changing events right now so I can't tell you how good this race has ended up being for me. It's really helped me through a difficult time in my life right now. I really don't care to go into any further detail about my life - eventhough this blog is about my personal life. But believe me, there are some funny stories going on right now that I will be able to laugh about until my sides hurt! I'm just not ready to discuss it, yet, and quite frankly, I'm not sure when I will be ready. Just pray for me! And pray I don't get injured this weekend!
I'm so excited! I hope I don't get stuck behind the balloon lady!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Pray for me
I am doing something new and different.
Something I have never done before.
I am trying something that means binding of the chest area.
I am going to try Jiu-Jitsu. Oh, yeah, baby! Don't mess with me!
Pray I don't break anything. The race is in less than two weeks! And I have a perpetual foot cramp. I'm getting very nervous! But I'm excited about learning how to kick your ass!!
Something I have never done before.
I am trying something that means binding of the chest area.
I am going to try Jiu-Jitsu. Oh, yeah, baby! Don't mess with me!
Pray I don't break anything. The race is in less than two weeks! And I have a perpetual foot cramp. I'm getting very nervous! But I'm excited about learning how to kick your ass!!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The Angels Obey His Word
Today's Scripture
"Praise the LORD, you His angels, you mighty ones who do His bidding, who obey His Word" (Psalm 103:20, NIV).
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
Did you know that when you speak words of faith, angels are commissioned to move on your behalf? The Scripture tells us that God gives His angels charge over us. That means, when God hears you declaring His Word, He says to the angels, "Do you hear what my child is saying? They are speaking faith. Angels, I have an assignment for you. Go down there and begin to turn the situation around." And the angels obey His Word!
If we could pull back the curtain on the unseen spiritual realm, we would see a host of angels and heavenly beings watching over us. That´s why it´s so important to guard what we say because with our words we either open a door for God and His angels to move on our behalf, or we open a door for the enemy and the forces of darkness.
Make the decision today to only speak words of faith and life over you, your home, and your family. Declare God´s Word and His promises and let your words set the angels into motion to help you fulfill the destiny God has planned for you!
A Prayer for Today
Father in heaven, thank You for calling and equipping me. Thank You for giving Your angels charge over me to protect and guide me. I will declare Your Word over my life and choose to honor You in all I do. In Jesus´ Name. Amen.
"Praise the LORD, you His angels, you mighty ones who do His bidding, who obey His Word" (Psalm 103:20, NIV).
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
Did you know that when you speak words of faith, angels are commissioned to move on your behalf? The Scripture tells us that God gives His angels charge over us. That means, when God hears you declaring His Word, He says to the angels, "Do you hear what my child is saying? They are speaking faith. Angels, I have an assignment for you. Go down there and begin to turn the situation around." And the angels obey His Word!
If we could pull back the curtain on the unseen spiritual realm, we would see a host of angels and heavenly beings watching over us. That´s why it´s so important to guard what we say because with our words we either open a door for God and His angels to move on our behalf, or we open a door for the enemy and the forces of darkness.
Make the decision today to only speak words of faith and life over you, your home, and your family. Declare God´s Word and His promises and let your words set the angels into motion to help you fulfill the destiny God has planned for you!
A Prayer for Today
Father in heaven, thank You for calling and equipping me. Thank You for giving Your angels charge over me to protect and guide me. I will declare Your Word over my life and choose to honor You in all I do. In Jesus´ Name. Amen.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
A first for all women everywhere
I got a new pair of jeans!
I got a smaller pair of jeans!
I feel like the girl in the yoplait commercials, "Yeah, I need you to take these in."
The best part was the record timing and fittings!
I took a tissue. I don't do well buying clothes. Typically, on any given clothes shopping experience, I leave crying. I hate trying on clothes and flourescents lights are evil. Just evil!
I went to the juniors section first to see if size "Whale" had become available yet. It has!! And the size "Whale" were on size, too! It was great. I got several pair to try on in the fitting rooms. I made it to the fitting rooms, prepping myself for a few tears and didn't cry! It was great. The first pair set the evening, though.
I slide them on, zip them up and did the sit test. You know, the test where you sit down in the fitting room to make sure that you don't show ass crack everywhere you go? Yeah, all the pants I brought F.A.I.L.E.D!! I really didn't even have to sit. They pants didn't make it above the crack. Who thinks that low is cute?! How do you sit? No wonder they were on sale!
So I leave those in the room, walk out, think about leaving but decide to try one more pair. A different cut but not waist high.
I walked back in, pulled them up and then the angels sang.
I found a new pair of jeans in two fittings and in under thirty minutes!
Top that!
I got a smaller pair of jeans!
I feel like the girl in the yoplait commercials, "Yeah, I need you to take these in."
The best part was the record timing and fittings!
I took a tissue. I don't do well buying clothes. Typically, on any given clothes shopping experience, I leave crying. I hate trying on clothes and flourescents lights are evil. Just evil!
I went to the juniors section first to see if size "Whale" had become available yet. It has!! And the size "Whale" were on size, too! It was great. I got several pair to try on in the fitting rooms. I made it to the fitting rooms, prepping myself for a few tears and didn't cry! It was great. The first pair set the evening, though.
I slide them on, zip them up and did the sit test. You know, the test where you sit down in the fitting room to make sure that you don't show ass crack everywhere you go? Yeah, all the pants I brought F.A.I.L.E.D!! I really didn't even have to sit. They pants didn't make it above the crack. Who thinks that low is cute?! How do you sit? No wonder they were on sale!
So I leave those in the room, walk out, think about leaving but decide to try one more pair. A different cut but not waist high.
I walked back in, pulled them up and then the angels sang.
I found a new pair of jeans in two fittings and in under thirty minutes!
Top that!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
It's not that I don't care
It's been over a week since my last post. Just so you know, I've not run out of material, I've run out of time!
I am headed to the small town of Cullman here shortly. It will be a great evening. I also have several stories I would love to share with you! One about having 152 different servers when I went to get sushi last night and another about the little girl who repetitively stabbed me with my own pen, even after I broke it. I need to be tested for poisoning!
I'm looking forward to my little excursion. It's more like a mini-break for me; a time for reflection - gag me. All of us need a little escape now and again. I'm just escaping a hundred miles north to a bowling alley to get my ass kicked!
I am headed to the small town of Cullman here shortly. It will be a great evening. I also have several stories I would love to share with you! One about having 152 different servers when I went to get sushi last night and another about the little girl who repetitively stabbed me with my own pen, even after I broke it. I need to be tested for poisoning!
I'm looking forward to my little excursion. It's more like a mini-break for me; a time for reflection - gag me. All of us need a little escape now and again. I'm just escaping a hundred miles north to a bowling alley to get my ass kicked!
Friday, January 9, 2009
In a small town in Alabama
Got a text from husband tonight: Going to Stephen's.
Me: Again?
That's two weeks in a row. After a bit of discussion and agreeing that he absolutely must start spending some time with me, his wife, I decided I was going out tonight.
First up on the agenda: dinner. What do I eat? When we were getting ready to close up shop at the dealership, I was listing all the different places to eat where it was kosher for people to sit by themselves. That left Panera Bread and the cafe in Barnes and Nobles. While both are absolutely delicious and I hardly ever turn down a good cup of tea, I can't really have a lot of bread, something that both the restaurants are known to furnish.
So I got to thinking about what sounded good and the first thing that popped into my head was some Thai food. But then I thought about how I want my dear, sweet, loving husband to take me to Surin Saturday night to make up for the lack of anniversary dinner on Thursday. (I'm not telling you that story so stop wondering.) I got a couple of my friends from work together and we decided on the next best thing: Sushi!
I love the sushi! Rainbow roll, tuna roll, nagiri (with the salmon); oh! Yum! One of the guys from work had never been to an actual sushi bar before and so we had to eat at the bar for the full experience. Kobe, the Japanese steak house and sushi bar, opened up a few months ago and I hadn't tried it yet; there is one in Birmingham and I had been wanting to see if this one was just as good. We decided to go there and give it a shot. We sit down, place our order and eat till the fish could reassemble in our stomachs and swim again! I must have had plenty of fish eggs floating in my eyes! I was so full!!
Then the wild hair crawled up my ass.
"Hey, William," William was enjoying his first experience in the sushi bar. "Have you ever tried octopus?"
"Only at the buffet." William has been know to frequent a local joint that serves buffet sushi, AKA crap with rice.
"If I order it, will you try it?"
"I'll eat anything!"
So I ordered octopus nagiri. The plate arrived and there it sat. William picked it up, dipped it in some soy sauce and stuffed it in his mouth. Five minutes later he was still chewing so I continued to wait to ask if it tasted alright. I've always wanted to try it, just a little afraid to.
"How is it?" I asked after a few more minutes of constant but slowing chewing.
"Not too bad," he answered between chomps, "Little chewy. Flavor's good."
OK...I picked up the last piece, dipped it and tried to take a bite out of half of the octopus. If you have ever had squid, that's the kind of chewy I tried to bite in half. It wasn't working so much for me. Finally, I was able to rip the piece in half. He was right, not too shabby of a taste, very chewy. Ten minutes later, I was able to swallow the food.
Later, we decided to go catch up with another friend of ours at a local karaoke bar. I rarely frequent these places and was expecting a younger crowd on a Friday night. I. was. wrong.
When we pulled up, the windows were tinted to block out anything going on inside. As we opened the door, cigarette smoke tumbled outside. There were two pool tables to my right where four middle-aged men, one in a leather jacket, stood staring at us with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths. The bar was on our left and there was not one seat left empty. I think we were the youngest people they had seen in awhile; I thought for a second we'd hear a record screech. All eyes were on us.
"Hey! Over here!" screamed a familiar voice. I turned to find Jennifer, the only face I knew in the unfamiliar crowd. She introduced us to everyone at her table and we sat down to join the conversation. They were discussing whether to stay at this bar or go to another one, arguably a gay bar.
"It's not gay," one man at the table said. He was tall and slender and wearing a cowboy hat. He was probably in his mid to late forties. I wondered about the hat. "It's owned by two lesbians. It ain't no gay bar."
"Well let's go on over there then!" Answered the other man. He was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. He had salt and pepper hair and a thick mustache. He seemed a bit antsy to leave the bar we were in.
Next to him sat an older woman in pink scrubs. Her hair was cropped short and colored blond. She was nursing a glass of tequila, apparently not her first. She looked at William, "Are you singing tonight?"
"Oh, William loves to sing!" I intergected. "He has the most beautiful voice!"
I looked over at William while trying to stifle my laughs. I hadn't realized that he had the karaoke book in his hands already. He looked at me like he wished he'd had a beer bottle in his hands instead of the book. Pure fear in his eyes!
"What are you going to sing?" The woman asked him. I noticed her eyes were getting crooked; I didn't think she was sober...at all. She had a very heavy southern accent, as did all the other patrons. I felt like I was in a movie stereotype.
"Oh, William! Sing for her!" I interrupted again. "He'll bring tears to your eyes, I tell ya! He loves to sing Hal & Oates Kiss on my List!" The woman's eyes crossed even more as she processed my words and excitement showed in her smile.
Another man sitting next to the woman finally spoke up. "What are you going to sing, ma'am?" He also had on a cowboy hat, a flannel shirt and tight jeans. I'd bet a hundred dollars he had on cowboy boots but I never checked. He raised his eyebrows at me when I finally realized he was asking me his question.
"Oh," I thought quick, "I'm a mute."
"You're a wha?"
"I'm a mute."
"Oh," he looked dumb-founded. "I'm sorry to hear that."
"Yeah, me too." Don't laugh! Don't laugh!
I looked at William again and wondered if he was going to play along, too. His face was beat red; I couldn't look at him so I turned to Jennifer who wasn't paying any attention to the conversation.
Everyone paid for their tab and we headed to, Angie's, the gay/not gay bar. I really didn't know what to expect after the first bar. I wasn't drinking since I'm training and everyone else but William was so I just tried to go with it. I'm from a much bigger city than Tuscaloosa originally so the idea of a gay bar was no big deal and the concept of one being in T-town really didn't seem realistic at all so I really had no clue what we were walking into.
Again, the doors were tinted, but not so much. When we walked inside, the dance floor was immediately in front of us with a stage on our left. Several tables were pushed together and the bar was in the far back. Music was playing and I recognized the song. It was Hootie and the Blowfish, Let her cry. I looked for the karaoke stand confused for a second; the song sounded too good.
All of a sudden a short, pink streak holding a microphone breezed past us. It was a short man with a pot belly in a hot. pink. polo. shirt. singing Hootie. He held the microphone and spun around the dance floor singing the song. He sounded just like Darius Rucker but I'm quite positive there was no resemblance. He looked like he was about to break into Broadway dance moves. Several in our group immediately had to go to the bathroom.
We sat down and I looked to my right where several women sat with there girlfriends. To my left, it was a mixture of older women in clothes several sizes too small mingled with men in cowboy hats and tight jeans. What a mix!
I still didn't know what to think. Fortunately, a basketball game was playing on a huge TV directly ahead of me so I focused on it to keep myself from laughing in people's faces.
Some of the same people from the first bar followed us to the new bar. They talked Jennifer into singing. I agreed to sing if William went first. Nobody else in our group had balls. I must admit, that was the first time I've done karaoke sober!
Me: Again?
That's two weeks in a row. After a bit of discussion and agreeing that he absolutely must start spending some time with me, his wife, I decided I was going out tonight.
First up on the agenda: dinner. What do I eat? When we were getting ready to close up shop at the dealership, I was listing all the different places to eat where it was kosher for people to sit by themselves. That left Panera Bread and the cafe in Barnes and Nobles. While both are absolutely delicious and I hardly ever turn down a good cup of tea, I can't really have a lot of bread, something that both the restaurants are known to furnish.
So I got to thinking about what sounded good and the first thing that popped into my head was some Thai food. But then I thought about how I want my dear, sweet, loving husband to take me to Surin Saturday night to make up for the lack of anniversary dinner on Thursday. (I'm not telling you that story so stop wondering.) I got a couple of my friends from work together and we decided on the next best thing: Sushi!
I love the sushi! Rainbow roll, tuna roll, nagiri (with the salmon); oh! Yum! One of the guys from work had never been to an actual sushi bar before and so we had to eat at the bar for the full experience. Kobe, the Japanese steak house and sushi bar, opened up a few months ago and I hadn't tried it yet; there is one in Birmingham and I had been wanting to see if this one was just as good. We decided to go there and give it a shot. We sit down, place our order and eat till the fish could reassemble in our stomachs and swim again! I must have had plenty of fish eggs floating in my eyes! I was so full!!
Then the wild hair crawled up my ass.
"Hey, William," William was enjoying his first experience in the sushi bar. "Have you ever tried octopus?"
"Only at the buffet." William has been know to frequent a local joint that serves buffet sushi, AKA crap with rice.
"If I order it, will you try it?"
"I'll eat anything!"
So I ordered octopus nagiri. The plate arrived and there it sat. William picked it up, dipped it in some soy sauce and stuffed it in his mouth. Five minutes later he was still chewing so I continued to wait to ask if it tasted alright. I've always wanted to try it, just a little afraid to.
"How is it?" I asked after a few more minutes of constant but slowing chewing.
"Not too bad," he answered between chomps, "Little chewy. Flavor's good."
OK...I picked up the last piece, dipped it and tried to take a bite out of half of the octopus. If you have ever had squid, that's the kind of chewy I tried to bite in half. It wasn't working so much for me. Finally, I was able to rip the piece in half. He was right, not too shabby of a taste, very chewy. Ten minutes later, I was able to swallow the food.
Later, we decided to go catch up with another friend of ours at a local karaoke bar. I rarely frequent these places and was expecting a younger crowd on a Friday night. I. was. wrong.
When we pulled up, the windows were tinted to block out anything going on inside. As we opened the door, cigarette smoke tumbled outside. There were two pool tables to my right where four middle-aged men, one in a leather jacket, stood staring at us with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths. The bar was on our left and there was not one seat left empty. I think we were the youngest people they had seen in awhile; I thought for a second we'd hear a record screech. All eyes were on us.
"Hey! Over here!" screamed a familiar voice. I turned to find Jennifer, the only face I knew in the unfamiliar crowd. She introduced us to everyone at her table and we sat down to join the conversation. They were discussing whether to stay at this bar or go to another one, arguably a gay bar.
"It's not gay," one man at the table said. He was tall and slender and wearing a cowboy hat. He was probably in his mid to late forties. I wondered about the hat. "It's owned by two lesbians. It ain't no gay bar."
"Well let's go on over there then!" Answered the other man. He was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. He had salt and pepper hair and a thick mustache. He seemed a bit antsy to leave the bar we were in.
Next to him sat an older woman in pink scrubs. Her hair was cropped short and colored blond. She was nursing a glass of tequila, apparently not her first. She looked at William, "Are you singing tonight?"
"Oh, William loves to sing!" I intergected. "He has the most beautiful voice!"
I looked over at William while trying to stifle my laughs. I hadn't realized that he had the karaoke book in his hands already. He looked at me like he wished he'd had a beer bottle in his hands instead of the book. Pure fear in his eyes!
"What are you going to sing?" The woman asked him. I noticed her eyes were getting crooked; I didn't think she was sober...at all. She had a very heavy southern accent, as did all the other patrons. I felt like I was in a movie stereotype.
"Oh, William! Sing for her!" I interrupted again. "He'll bring tears to your eyes, I tell ya! He loves to sing Hal & Oates Kiss on my List!" The woman's eyes crossed even more as she processed my words and excitement showed in her smile.
Another man sitting next to the woman finally spoke up. "What are you going to sing, ma'am?" He also had on a cowboy hat, a flannel shirt and tight jeans. I'd bet a hundred dollars he had on cowboy boots but I never checked. He raised his eyebrows at me when I finally realized he was asking me his question.
"Oh," I thought quick, "I'm a mute."
"You're a wha?"
"I'm a mute."
"Oh," he looked dumb-founded. "I'm sorry to hear that."
"Yeah, me too." Don't laugh! Don't laugh!
I looked at William again and wondered if he was going to play along, too. His face was beat red; I couldn't look at him so I turned to Jennifer who wasn't paying any attention to the conversation.
Everyone paid for their tab and we headed to, Angie's, the gay/not gay bar. I really didn't know what to expect after the first bar. I wasn't drinking since I'm training and everyone else but William was so I just tried to go with it. I'm from a much bigger city than Tuscaloosa originally so the idea of a gay bar was no big deal and the concept of one being in T-town really didn't seem realistic at all so I really had no clue what we were walking into.
Again, the doors were tinted, but not so much. When we walked inside, the dance floor was immediately in front of us with a stage on our left. Several tables were pushed together and the bar was in the far back. Music was playing and I recognized the song. It was Hootie and the Blowfish, Let her cry. I looked for the karaoke stand confused for a second; the song sounded too good.
All of a sudden a short, pink streak holding a microphone breezed past us. It was a short man with a pot belly in a hot. pink. polo. shirt. singing Hootie. He held the microphone and spun around the dance floor singing the song. He sounded just like Darius Rucker but I'm quite positive there was no resemblance. He looked like he was about to break into Broadway dance moves. Several in our group immediately had to go to the bathroom.
We sat down and I looked to my right where several women sat with there girlfriends. To my left, it was a mixture of older women in clothes several sizes too small mingled with men in cowboy hats and tight jeans. What a mix!
I still didn't know what to think. Fortunately, a basketball game was playing on a huge TV directly ahead of me so I focused on it to keep myself from laughing in people's faces.
Some of the same people from the first bar followed us to the new bar. They talked Jennifer into singing. I agreed to sing if William went first. Nobody else in our group had balls. I must admit, that was the first time I've done karaoke sober!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
The Old Man is Snoring
It is raining.
It has been raining for days.
I am sick of rain.
Why? Besides the fact it's been raining for days?
Because I have customers who want to stand outside of the car while you tell them why it's such a great product and leave you to stand in rain puddles deeper than Lake Michigan when you're 5'5 tall! I should have brought a change of pants!
It has been raining for days.
I am sick of rain.
Why? Besides the fact it's been raining for days?
Because I have customers who want to stand outside of the car while you tell them why it's such a great product and leave you to stand in rain puddles deeper than Lake Michigan when you're 5'5 tall! I should have brought a change of pants!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Buffalo Hot Wing Dip
This is some of the best dip I've ever had - and I can't have any more of it till afer February 15...
It's so easy to make and is great on some Scoops! Warning to those who don't like spicy: This stuff is hott!!
What you'll need:
2 bricks softened cream cheese
1 bottle Frank Buffalo Hot Wing Sauce
1 package of Ranch dip mix
2 cans chicken
1 small package of bacon bits
1 package/2cups shredded sharp chedder cheese
What to do:
Heat oven to 350. Mix all the ingredients in a bowl. Use a fork to separate the chicken chunks or put mixture in a food processor. Pour mixture into a baking pan and bake for approximately 20 minutes or until light brown on top. Serve warm with chips.
It's so easy to make and is great on some Scoops! Warning to those who don't like spicy: This stuff is hott!!
What you'll need:
2 bricks softened cream cheese
1 bottle Frank Buffalo Hot Wing Sauce
1 package of Ranch dip mix
2 cans chicken
1 small package of bacon bits
1 package/2cups shredded sharp chedder cheese
What to do:
Heat oven to 350. Mix all the ingredients in a bowl. Use a fork to separate the chicken chunks or put mixture in a food processor. Pour mixture into a baking pan and bake for approximately 20 minutes or until light brown on top. Serve warm with chips.
What's that over there!?
I am definitely ADD.
I sold my first car the other night. You can look at it one of two ways: I've been at the dealership for three years and it's taken me this long to sell my first car OR I'd been a salesman for approximately 3 hours and sold my first car. I prefer that later considering that was really the case.
Yay me!
Thing is, that was pure luck. Not every customer comes in with a sheet of paper with stock number scribbled on it and says, "I've come to buy this car." I wish it always happened that way.
In reality, I have to learn product. I know, another question, "How can be there three years and not know the product?" Well, let me tell you this! If you saw all the different specs and numbers and product codes and bla bla bla's there were to all the different models we have on our lot, you'd understand. My brain feels like one big fart right now.
I have taken to studying at every given opportunity. It's hard to study answers to questions you don't know you're going to get. It makes me wonder how I ever graduated high school!
I have a little book that someone told me has all the information in it that I need know. Great! I have sat down to look at this book a hundred times. I'm on page 9!
Everything keeps distracting me. If it's not another customer, it's that I have to use the bathroom. I might have to get something to eat, the phone rings, a customer comes in, or family has arrived. This morning, I was drinking some water and at the bottom where the glass was blown together (they are handmade glasses) reminded me of a monkey...that was the distraction this morning. I never would have noticed it if I hadn't been subliminally looking for an excuse to put the book down...
Oh, I don't miss school.
I sold my first car the other night. You can look at it one of two ways: I've been at the dealership for three years and it's taken me this long to sell my first car OR I'd been a salesman for approximately 3 hours and sold my first car. I prefer that later considering that was really the case.
Yay me!
Thing is, that was pure luck. Not every customer comes in with a sheet of paper with stock number scribbled on it and says, "I've come to buy this car." I wish it always happened that way.
In reality, I have to learn product. I know, another question, "How can be there three years and not know the product?" Well, let me tell you this! If you saw all the different specs and numbers and product codes and bla bla bla's there were to all the different models we have on our lot, you'd understand. My brain feels like one big fart right now.
I have taken to studying at every given opportunity. It's hard to study answers to questions you don't know you're going to get. It makes me wonder how I ever graduated high school!
I have a little book that someone told me has all the information in it that I need know. Great! I have sat down to look at this book a hundred times. I'm on page 9!
Everything keeps distracting me. If it's not another customer, it's that I have to use the bathroom. I might have to get something to eat, the phone rings, a customer comes in, or family has arrived. This morning, I was drinking some water and at the bottom where the glass was blown together (they are handmade glasses) reminded me of a monkey...that was the distraction this morning. I never would have noticed it if I hadn't been subliminally looking for an excuse to put the book down...
Oh, I don't miss school.
Friday, January 2, 2009
The Dream
Have you ever had those dreams where you think it's reality until you wake up?
Sometimes those are the best, however, the other night - not so much.
I had a few totties New Years Eve and slept so good. Oh, I wish I could sleep like that every night!
Then I woke up...
Now, dream interpreters, what does that mean?
Sometimes those are the best, however, the other night - not so much.
I had a few totties New Years Eve and slept so good. Oh, I wish I could sleep like that every night!
All of a sudden, I'm in the office of my home church. I walked into the
office and Barack Obama was sitting in the secretary's chair, smiling at me.
Oh, wow, Barack Obama is the new pastor and the new
secretary.
I walked through the office doors into the main part of the office, closer to
his desk.
Stephanie, you need a black head band for that hair of yours don't
you?
I looked at him funny. How did you know that I need a black head band?
Let's go pick one out.
Together, Barack Obama and I tried on black head bands. I picked a thick,
early sixties-style head band that made my short hair poofy in the back. It
looked great. Obama had good hair band taste, ha ha!!
Then I woke up...
Now, dream interpreters, what does that mean?
I'm too aggrevated for this right now.
Alabama losing to Utah is not how I wanted to spend my evening. Maybe this game will get better and Bama will actually show up.
In other news, why is it that when shit hits the fan, it's diarrhea?
Talked with the husband just now and we'll just say that there is a disagreement over..."etiquette." This is what it's like to married you single folk; bicker and argue over he most idiotic topics. You let the irritation consume you over minuscule things until it eats you from the inside out and you eventually explode. Marriage takes work and if you think it's supposed to be easy, you need to be committed.
Trey, I'm right, you're wrong. Period. Good etiquette means being proper and secrets don't make gummy bears.
Seven minutes left in the fourth and I think Alabama has yet to come out of the locker room in the Sugar Bowl! Good grief...I need a glass of wine...
I'm sorry for the bitchiness, really I am. I hate complainers and complaining. Notice that it is past my bedtime on a very long day and I'm a little irritated that I'm sitting on the sofa without my husband whom despite our petty arguments, I do love dearly and pray he forgives me for my irrational comments - even though right now I still think he's being a pig.
In other news, why is it that when shit hits the fan, it's diarrhea?
Talked with the husband just now and we'll just say that there is a disagreement over..."etiquette." This is what it's like to married you single folk; bicker and argue over he most idiotic topics. You let the irritation consume you over minuscule things until it eats you from the inside out and you eventually explode. Marriage takes work and if you think it's supposed to be easy, you need to be committed.
Trey, I'm right, you're wrong. Period. Good etiquette means being proper and secrets don't make gummy bears.
Seven minutes left in the fourth and I think Alabama has yet to come out of the locker room in the Sugar Bowl! Good grief...I need a glass of wine...
I'm sorry for the bitchiness, really I am. I hate complainers and complaining. Notice that it is past my bedtime on a very long day and I'm a little irritated that I'm sitting on the sofa without my husband whom despite our petty arguments, I do love dearly and pray he forgives me for my irrational comments - even though right now I still think he's being a pig.
One. Pissed. Bama. Fan.
What in the world is going on with Alabama football??
Is this where we suck in the first half and reign supreme in the second??
Hey, Alabama, Utah's QB has a wide opening to make another 1st down. Why don't you run away from him so he can slide and get the chains moved?
Ooh, helmet cracking football...Hopenotbody was hurt on that play. Instead, maybe it knocked some sense into the defense. Speaking of defense; why don't we go for pass interference and give Utah 15 yards...good grief! Where is the team that was no.1 for most of this season?!
Is this where we suck in the first half and reign supreme in the second??
Hey, Alabama, Utah's QB has a wide opening to make another 1st down. Why don't you run away from him so he can slide and get the chains moved?
Ooh, helmet cracking football...Hopenotbody was hurt on that play. Instead, maybe it knocked some sense into the defense. Speaking of defense; why don't we go for pass interference and give Utah 15 yards...good grief! Where is the team that was no.1 for most of this season?!
People to pray for...
Today is one of those days that I'm not going to forget in the near future.
I don't want to give away too many details since it's not really my business to tell, however, I will tell you about my piece of the puzzle.
My boss called me into my office earlier today. I like my office. It's big, it's roomy, I have eucalyptus in it so it smells nice. I have a photo from my wedding day sitting behind me; always showing off my husband. Comparitively speaking to some of the other offices in the building, it's huge!
"I have to give you a choice," my boss started. It's never good to start a conversation like that. I knew today was going to be a strange day and I knew in my gut that it was going to get weird for me. I had been praying for weeks that I'd have a job after today; during this meeting, I was about to find out. My boss knew that was my first concern as soon as he started his speech.
"Don't worry, I'm not firing you. Don't freak out," my eyes must have been about to pop out of my head because I was holding my coffee in my hands so he wouldn't know I was concerned. I like to play the poker card; I don't want you to know my true thoughts sometimes. My eyes always give me away, though!!
After we finished our meeting, which I'm not going into any further detail as juicy as it may be for you, I assured him that I didn't want to go anywhere.
"I'm a team player," I promised. I'm being put into a position that kind of sucks if you look at the glass half-empty. But I'm a person who always looks at the glass as half-full. I'm not stupid either; I know what's going on, I know this has to happen. Plus, I have faith that I'll be rewarded for my hard work and loyalty.
When I write this blog, I like to pretend I'm really sitting with you discussing my day over a cup of coffee. Or you're reading a book while getting your afternoon-tea-pick-me-up. I regret not being able to really discuss this in that fashion but please understand that some things aren't meant for you to know about me but I will vent about them cryptically anyway. That being said, I hope I can be motivational enough for other people who may not always see the glass as half full.
Life is always challenging. Life is not fair. Life doesn't always give us what we want. Actually, life never gives us what we want; we have to work for it! Take for example this half-marathon. Pretend for a second that you were going to run the race tomorrow. You couldn't finish 13.1 miles automatically! It takes training and diligence to condition your body to running that distance.
Side note: Alabama is playing Utah right now and my day is getting worse because JP Wilson just threw an interception in the first minutes of the game; right after Utah just scored. What the crap!!?
My point in the marathon is, if you train hard, work hard, play hard, you'll finish faster, better and have more fun. God says we have to persevere. God also says we'll be rewarded for finishing the race.
Many of you could have the same reaction as my husband. Or you would have the same reaction: quit.
I'm not quitting.
I'm not leaving my job. I love my job. This is a great opportunity for me! I can learn -- Utah. just. scored. again. -- and get better at what I do. I can be more successful and make more money. Why would I quit a good thing? Yeah, so what if it's hard!? That makes the reward that much better!
Let me just end with this: there are many people who don't have a job right now. I could be one of those people. Your attitude has a lot to do with what you achieve in life. If you have a shit attitude, you aren't going to make it far. Everyone who may not be as fortunate as me to have a job to stress over is in my prayers tonight. It may be a scary market to not have a job in but trust me and believe me when I say it's getting better. I work in a business that is dependent upon a good market: trust me when I say I see it getting a lot better and quick! If you don't have employment right now, I dare you to learn something new and do what you're afraid to do. Even if it's hard. I promise you it will be worth it. Just keep looking at the glass as half full!
Was that motivational enough?
I don't want to give away too many details since it's not really my business to tell, however, I will tell you about my piece of the puzzle.
My boss called me into my office earlier today. I like my office. It's big, it's roomy, I have eucalyptus in it so it smells nice. I have a photo from my wedding day sitting behind me; always showing off my husband. Comparitively speaking to some of the other offices in the building, it's huge!
"I have to give you a choice," my boss started. It's never good to start a conversation like that. I knew today was going to be a strange day and I knew in my gut that it was going to get weird for me. I had been praying for weeks that I'd have a job after today; during this meeting, I was about to find out. My boss knew that was my first concern as soon as he started his speech.
"Don't worry, I'm not firing you. Don't freak out," my eyes must have been about to pop out of my head because I was holding my coffee in my hands so he wouldn't know I was concerned. I like to play the poker card; I don't want you to know my true thoughts sometimes. My eyes always give me away, though!!
After we finished our meeting, which I'm not going into any further detail as juicy as it may be for you, I assured him that I didn't want to go anywhere.
"I'm a team player," I promised. I'm being put into a position that kind of sucks if you look at the glass half-empty. But I'm a person who always looks at the glass as half-full. I'm not stupid either; I know what's going on, I know this has to happen. Plus, I have faith that I'll be rewarded for my hard work and loyalty.
When I write this blog, I like to pretend I'm really sitting with you discussing my day over a cup of coffee. Or you're reading a book while getting your afternoon-tea-pick-me-up. I regret not being able to really discuss this in that fashion but please understand that some things aren't meant for you to know about me but I will vent about them cryptically anyway. That being said, I hope I can be motivational enough for other people who may not always see the glass as half full.
Life is always challenging. Life is not fair. Life doesn't always give us what we want. Actually, life never gives us what we want; we have to work for it! Take for example this half-marathon. Pretend for a second that you were going to run the race tomorrow. You couldn't finish 13.1 miles automatically! It takes training and diligence to condition your body to running that distance.
Side note: Alabama is playing Utah right now and my day is getting worse because JP Wilson just threw an interception in the first minutes of the game; right after Utah just scored. What the crap!!?
My point in the marathon is, if you train hard, work hard, play hard, you'll finish faster, better and have more fun. God says we have to persevere. God also says we'll be rewarded for finishing the race.
Many of you could have the same reaction as my husband. Or you would have the same reaction: quit.
I'm not quitting.
I'm not leaving my job. I love my job. This is a great opportunity for me! I can learn -- Utah. just. scored. again. -- and get better at what I do. I can be more successful and make more money. Why would I quit a good thing? Yeah, so what if it's hard!? That makes the reward that much better!
Let me just end with this: there are many people who don't have a job right now. I could be one of those people. Your attitude has a lot to do with what you achieve in life. If you have a shit attitude, you aren't going to make it far. Everyone who may not be as fortunate as me to have a job to stress over is in my prayers tonight. It may be a scary market to not have a job in but trust me and believe me when I say it's getting better. I work in a business that is dependent upon a good market: trust me when I say I see it getting a lot better and quick! If you don't have employment right now, I dare you to learn something new and do what you're afraid to do. Even if it's hard. I promise you it will be worth it. Just keep looking at the glass as half full!
Was that motivational enough?
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most. Here we are having a blast and there he goes being a dick.
M, thank you for making my pitiful dating life so nutty!!