I'd get married again just to not have a roommate

My Internet crapped out after the storm. It's not in my name so I told the roommate, J, who has the bill for the Internet. It became pulling teeth to find out if anything was getting done. Bottom line, because I don't feel like telling all the details, I asked her to get it fixed or just reimburse me my money since I'd paid her for the full summer. I was put off, given excuses, told she didn't have money since she lost her job from the storm, somebody had to do this, somebody had to do that... It was getting super tiresome and I'm too old for this shit.

So... when she posted on her facebook that she was going to the bars (after the cruise she took after she lost her job, after she claimed her sibling that doesn't live with her on her income taxes and after she told me she didn't have any money to pay reimburse me), A posted something about her and money and Internet and I don't know...

and then she started calling.... and calling... until I answered.

She was irrational and telling me what I needed to tell "my boyfriend" to do and to delete and I'm thinking... wtf... and tell her calm down and wtf? Then I lit into her. First about getting the damn Internet fixed and that this had gone on long enough. Second about whatever between her and A was staying between her and A because he is his own individual and is autonomous.

Then the best thing happened: she took me off of facebook so I couldn't even see what was said! Darn.

So I sent her this message:

Well I went to check and see what Adam had said to make you so angry and I see that you have unfriended me. To be perfectly honest I don't care. I know that I can't help you with this kind of behavior.

Creating this much drama over me telling you I couldn't connect to the Internet is just irrational and ridiculous. I find stuff like this insultingly juvenile and petty. The thing that I hate is that when I tried to talk to you like an adult, you had to get irrational they way you did. And not only on the phone this evening but even in the apartment when you asked me to stop sending you Facebook messages. This type of behavior is extremely immature. There is absolutely no reason for any drama to be brought into this issue. I honestly feel that you were looking for something to be upset with me over and the fact that I tried to be cooperative and courteous insulted you. That makes absolutely no sense. I wish I knew what I have done to make you so incredibly angry with me. I've always been open to making things right with people, especially if I've wronged them. You're an adult. I expected better out of you.

I am not expecting you to respond to this message, and honestly I don't want you to. I'm relieved that I won't have any financial ties to you in the apartment, as well, especially after the way you behaved with me on the phone and in the apartment. I'm relieved to not have to worry about unnecessary drama. I regret that the resolution of you giving me back my $29 didn't come sooner so that I could have made other arrangements for Internet connection. I hope one day you can look back and see how petty and stupid this argument is.

Chew!!! Chew!!!

Somebody once told me to remember how to eat an elephant.

I'm so thankful that when I'm overwhelmed that I have that tip. This is one of those weeks. It's been hard to keep blinders on and do one thing at a time because so much is going on and it's gotten so easy to fall behind. When I look ahead, I see more things coming that will make me more overwhelmed than I already am. I just want a breather.

I'm determined to run another Mercedes. I'm working mornings and afternoons in radio. I have classes in between. Somewhere I have to study and sleep... and there is that eating thing, it's kind of important. This is one of the harder weeks I've had since my life went from a easy pace of 35 miles per hour to 135. I have back to back tests this week. Not just tests, major exams. Microbiology, CS (which is painfully easy, thank God!), and my nemesis, Anthropology.

Anthropology is the thorn in my side! It's ridiculous! Thanks to @thegeekwife who verified that it is overly complicated for an entry level course! Knowing that I'm not the only one wanted to scream at this crazy professor makes me feel more sane. This woman draws hearts on her question marks and dots her "i's" with hearts! HEARTS!!

Who does that??????? She's a college professor!! In this evil class that should be much more enjoyable and interesting, she loves to lecture and use every piece of technology in the room. She invents a lecture segment or project for each knew gadget she finds. She's never heard the term "keep it simple". Obviously. And she's prissy. I understand this is a week argument as to why she shouldn't be teaching Anthropology, but it's just annoying. It's like I'm taking a class from Elle Woods! Not to mention, this is her first year at UA. Before, she was at Indiana. For a year. As an assistant. Just an assistant. Before that? (Insert heart at bottom of question mark) She was a teacher for Kaplan, the online college... that offers easy degrees. Apparently, her only claim to fame is the time she spent in Malaysia studying nutrition.

I expect two things from her experience:

• To be able to keep an introduction to cultural Anthropology simple and to an introduction by staying away from the arguments and debates of all the theories involved in Anthropology. In an introduction, 100 level class, there is no need to be able to apply, debate, and infer a truth to any debate to Anthropology. However, if I was a graduate Anthropology student, yep, I'd see the need.
• To be able to answer questions posed in lectures and by students with out any ambiguity and to not put debatable questions on any exams.

Why do I have to spend so much time punishing myself with this course when, for me, it doesn't matter? This should be treated as a 100-level class. Ask me what theory means what, not which theory is more provable right after you tell me theories can only be disproved. Don't tell me the humans species are not dimorphic right after you tell me they are, then ask me an exam question wanting me to define humans as either dimorphic or not.

I digress. I just need to take my argument to the dean.

I was just going to write about how much is on my plate. Obviously, Anthropology is my elephant and the other items are just a la cart...

Pure Chaos

Moving from one apartment to the other should never be this hectic!

I absolutely hate moving, with a passion. To make it more miserable, my current apartments have just held a mandatory meeting where they informed me that I need to have my stuff packed and ready to go. It has to look like a moving truck is ready to get me. Then I'll be informed sometime during the first three days of August when I can actually move my stuff. In the meantime, all of my stuff needs to be in the common area. WTF.

So, to clarify, I'm to pack up my belongings, place them in a common area for people to pilfer through when they come to inspect and view my apartment. There will be management, cleaning crews, maintainance crews, and potential residents with free and easy access to my belongings while I'm away.

Of course I have to be difficult. I told management that I will be out of town and gladly leave my belongings on top of my bed, in my room, where they will be locked away. I informed them that I will be back in town on the second day of my move and at the time, I'll start moving my stuff downstairs, and my new place will be ready by at least that day if they expect me to be completely moved out of my old place by midnight of the third day.

In the words of Tim James, makes sense to me. Doesn't it to you?

Two-faced reTards

Why do people feel like they have to stir the pot constantly?

Why do some people feel it necessary to judge me and the people in my life for things we have no control over. Fuck you! I just don't understand what the point of constantly concerning yourself with what is my own personal business and relationships is going to fill in your petty, little lives. Why can't you just grow a pair of balls and say for yourself what you really think instead of manipulating other people to do it for you? Why is so vital to tell me what somebody else thinks of the priorities in my life.

I'm doing something with my life. I'm doing something you were too chickenshit to do. I'm doing something you only wish you could say you had the courage to do. I have a goal and I'm making it obtainable. Stop being jealous of me and that that makes you feel inadequate.

I've never lived my life to be vengeful of you. I've never lived my life to make you feel like a midget. To be perfectly honest, I don't really give a shit about the things you do or say in your life and would appreciate it greatly if you would stop rattling the rails in my world and mind your own fucking business!

Maybe if you stopped concerning yourself with my dreams and successes, you'd actually be able to do something about the things that you only wish you had the audacity to do and maybe take a step in the forward direction of progress.

Stop bitching and complaining about me and my friends. Stop accusing me of the things you only choose to judge me for when in reality it could be further from the truth. It's shameful to think that within my own tree is more gossip than can be written for JustJared or People. If I could sue you for libel, I'd win. And don't neglect to realize that I'm not only just sick of hearing you say these things about me, I'm sick of hearing you bitch about other people and not doing anything about those relationships. Stop pestering me to moil over the petty differences and drama that make your world turn. Understand, I don't give a shit about other people's problems, either! It's not my business! It's not my problem!

For once in your minuscule little lives, mind your own business!

This is what a rut looks like

I'm burned out.

I've had so much going on lately that I'm just burnt on nearly everything. A sabbatical would be nice. If only... Work...ugh...work #2...hate corporate America...Where's my free time?

I must have Spring fever. That's what I'll diagnose myself with. I'm seeing these beautiful days of the season casting this happy sunshine over everything and I'm envious of the ones who get to frolic in it. I hate admitting it because I don't mean to complain but I'm finding it more difficult to push through this rut until I can really enjoy some me time.

I'm having to be my own personal cheerleader presently. I can do this. I can make it. My efforts aren't in vain. Miracles happen everyday, you've been blessed in every situation of need so far, Steph, God won't forget you this time, either. The truth is, I know I can do this, I know I can make it. I just hate the disheartening part when things can't or don't go as planned so that I can also frolic in the sun and play with my friends.

So if you see me about going chugga-chugga-choo-choo, I'm just building up my spirit for my next big hurdle.

It's just old now...that's why I'm frustrated...

Friendships are so delicate. There's always a fine balance and the great thing about friendship is that they are so easy to maintain until someone gets hurt. You're the best friend I've ever had, what the hell? You go about your day to day lives, catching each other up on the humdrum and extraordinary. You ask advice and give advice. Never ever do you doubt your friend because they would never lie to you, they would never hurt you, and most certainly would never want to see you get hurt.

To have a perfect happy medium in a friendship means that at some point, your friend lies to you. Does this make my ass look big? No! That's not to say that every single time your friend is a fibber, little white lies are innocent...sometimes.

What would you say if I told you sometimes a friend can love and appreciate your person so much that telling you the truth was the only way they knew to return the love you've shown them? What would you say if I told you they have absolutely no sense of orating tactfully what you need to hear? What would you say if sometimes the truth hurts and you hope so much for something that you can't see the obvious and they're just trying to help?

I'm getting pretty fed up with people attacking me for not hearing what they want me to say when they ask my opinion. You asked me!!!! I have a list of things in my life that I wish I wish someone had told me before I learned it myself! So many things in my life would be different and I could have avoided so much heartache. It pisses me off that you are displacing your anger about the truth on me. I'm just relaying the honest opinion you asked me for. I'm not going to lie. I'm a real friend and I value you.

You are the best friend I've ever had. You've been there for me through so many of my trials and tribulations. You have let me cry on your shoulder and have hopefully given me your honest opinions. I truly appreciate that and want to be there for you during this time. You can lean on me, vent to me, cry on me. Please don't be mad at me when I tell you the truth, especially if it's not what you want to hear. I see you involved and focused on this one goal that is so trivial you are missing out on the bigger things in life! I think you are worth so much more than you say you are and it pains me to see you kicking yourself.

Bottom line you who is miffed at me for wanting to protect you from that heartbreak: There is a whole wide world out there and you are missing it when you could be owning it! If you were really listening, which I really hope you are now, then this subject wouldn't be a subject. Please learn from my mistakes.

Fingernails and Chalkboards

Let me tell you what I can't stand. I just noticed a person I know doing this. Soapbox.

I hate hypocrites. They piss me off. Just be yourself! I can't stand it when people pretend to speak or do what is socially acceptable just to keep your status.

For example, if you're gay, you're obviously gay, just say so. Who gives a shit? I don't! It's always the negative voices you hear because the people who don't give a shit don't care enough to say, "So what?" and believe me, the number of people who have the latter mentality far exceed the idiots who condemn something they are uncomfortable with.

Another example, it could be as simple has not liking college football but pretending to because you live in a college town, you're afraid you'll hurt yourself. I have a lot of choice words to say about people who pretend to be something they aren't. Family reads this; I won't say them.

Why is it so hard for people today to just appreciate what they like, want, or do? Why be ashamed? There are millions of people around you! Just because one group of people doesn't accept you for your personality traits doesn't mean you don't fit in. It means that you've just been saved from having meaningless associates who judge your for something they are either jealous of or uncomfortable with.

And by all means, don't pretend to like something just to keep up appearances. People see straight through you.

Need a moment

I don't particularly care to bitch on here that often. I realize that my thoughts are up here for the world to read. That's probably one of the main reasons I haven't written as much lately -- I just don't want to come across as bitchy but I have to do this...at this point, I'm just frustrated.

Let me start with this: Dating is stupid. Men are stupid. Most men are just boys.

Here's why: guy #1, date a bit, we move in opposite directions, no love lost. Now, ding-dong wants to know why I don't speak to him anymore, if he can come over and "cuddle," and if we can be "special friends." Really?? How about a big fat no when you showed up at my apartment unannounced and when you told me you were at my door at 3 am another time, and really weren't even there?! That is a big fat, "Stay the hell away from me!"

Guy #2, Cool guy, fun to hang around. I love to hang out with him because there is no pressure at all! Pretty open relationship, able to date/see other people, free to hang out with friends, with each other or with each other and our friends. Just a fun person - Until I found out he tried to pick up a friend of mine at that bar...is that jealousy??? Wth???

Guy #3, Total sweetheart. I can't say enough good thing about him. I'm just not ready to give him what he's looking for - despite the fact he still wants it from me. I have to say for a minute that I thought maybe I could try but let me honestly say that I'm so far from that right now. What I need more of right now are friends who are just there for me but allow me my space when I need it.

The reason I bring this up?? Because all of it is unnecessary drama! Every ounce of it! This is why dating is stupid, this is why it's a waste of my time, this is why I didn't want to date to begin with.

I don't understand why things have to be blown out of proportion, why some people just don't take what you say for what it's worth. I don't understand why some people don't understand that no means no. I don't get why men are so...persistent and dead set on making sure the crazy one's are only attracted to me! That's for another time!

And men say women are complicated - I say men complicate women!

I know at least of the three reads this blog, however, I wish all three did. This is my message to them, and yes, to all you guidance counselors, I have said this bluntly, I hate drama. I've had enough drama in my life the last year, to be exact, and I want no more of it. I want to be selfish for once and have me time. I don't have to justify it. I don't have to excuse it. I don't have to explain myself. Quite frankly, it's none of your damned business what I do with my time, and if you don't like it, do what I told you to do in the beginning and move on. I've had enough bullshit to deal with, especially in the last six months, and quite frankly, your bullshit is not even close to the hell I've been through.

Don't bring drama into my home and expect me to pet your ego. Don't take things so seriously. If you can't, find someone else who finds it just as important as you do...I don't want your drama.

I'm too aggrevated for this right now.

Alabama losing to Utah is not how I wanted to spend my evening. Maybe this game will get better and Bama will actually show up.

In other news, why is it that when shit hits the fan, it's diarrhea?

Talked with the husband just now and we'll just say that there is a disagreement over..."etiquette." This is what it's like to married you single folk; bicker and argue over he most idiotic topics. You let the irritation consume you over minuscule things until it eats you from the inside out and you eventually explode. Marriage takes work and if you think it's supposed to be easy, you need to be committed.

Trey, I'm right, you're wrong. Period. Good etiquette means being proper and secrets don't make gummy bears.

Seven minutes left in the fourth and I think Alabama has yet to come out of the locker room in the Sugar Bowl! Good grief...I need a glass of wine...

I'm sorry for the bitchiness, really I am. I hate complainers and complaining. Notice that it is past my bedtime on a very long day and I'm a little irritated that I'm sitting on the sofa without my husband whom despite our petty arguments, I do love dearly and pray he forgives me for my irrational comments - even though right now I still think he's being a pig.