I'd get married again just to not have a roommate

My Internet crapped out after the storm. It's not in my name so I told the roommate, J, who has the bill for the Internet. It became pulling teeth to find out if anything was getting done. Bottom line, because I don't feel like telling all the details, I asked her to get it fixed or just reimburse me my money since I'd paid her for the full summer. I was put off, given excuses, told she didn't have money since she lost her job from the storm, somebody had to do this, somebody had to do that... It was getting super tiresome and I'm too old for this shit.

So... when she posted on her facebook that she was going to the bars (after the cruise she took after she lost her job, after she claimed her sibling that doesn't live with her on her income taxes and after she told me she didn't have any money to pay reimburse me), A posted something about her and money and Internet and I don't know...

and then she started calling.... and calling... until I answered.

She was irrational and telling me what I needed to tell "my boyfriend" to do and to delete and I'm thinking... wtf... and tell her calm down and wtf? Then I lit into her. First about getting the damn Internet fixed and that this had gone on long enough. Second about whatever between her and A was staying between her and A because he is his own individual and is autonomous.

Then the best thing happened: she took me off of facebook so I couldn't even see what was said! Darn.

So I sent her this message:

Well I went to check and see what Adam had said to make you so angry and I see that you have unfriended me. To be perfectly honest I don't care. I know that I can't help you with this kind of behavior.

Creating this much drama over me telling you I couldn't connect to the Internet is just irrational and ridiculous. I find stuff like this insultingly juvenile and petty. The thing that I hate is that when I tried to talk to you like an adult, you had to get irrational they way you did. And not only on the phone this evening but even in the apartment when you asked me to stop sending you Facebook messages. This type of behavior is extremely immature. There is absolutely no reason for any drama to be brought into this issue. I honestly feel that you were looking for something to be upset with me over and the fact that I tried to be cooperative and courteous insulted you. That makes absolutely no sense. I wish I knew what I have done to make you so incredibly angry with me. I've always been open to making things right with people, especially if I've wronged them. You're an adult. I expected better out of you.

I am not expecting you to respond to this message, and honestly I don't want you to. I'm relieved that I won't have any financial ties to you in the apartment, as well, especially after the way you behaved with me on the phone and in the apartment. I'm relieved to not have to worry about unnecessary drama. I regret that the resolution of you giving me back my $29 didn't come sooner so that I could have made other arrangements for Internet connection. I hope one day you can look back and see how petty and stupid this argument is.

I finally fixed him Shepard's Pie

I can bitch about stress all I want to but I have to remember one thing: I'm very blessed. I have a lot of supportive people in my life, a lot of people who love me and want to see me do well.

More importantly, I'm happy.

I have the most amazing person with me who makes me smile. Every time I feel stressed, I can just be around him and forget about it. It is so nice to have someone who loves me just as me. Not for what I can do for him. He doesn't want me to do anything for him. He doesn't want me to be anybody else. He doesn't talk down to me, he is always so positive and loving, he's supportive, and believes in me. He is respectful and not demanding. He listens and communicates instead of shuts down during even the simplest of conversations.

I have found the perfect man! SCORE!!

This month is Domestic Violence Awareness month. I don't talk much about my previous marriage, and honestly, I don't want to. I was one of the more fortunate women. I just want any woman (or man) in any abusive relationship to know that you're better than that, and if you have kids, they're better than that! There's help! I know that it's not as simple as packing a bag to leave, but there is freedom from an abusive relationship!

Get Help: http://dvam.vawnet.org/

Show support: http://twibbon.com/cause/Speak-Out-Domestic-Violence/

I'm so thankful to God that I have A now. He's shown me that is still good in people, and I love his huge heart. I hope he knows just how much he's helped me heal.

The Day the A/C Died

I just got in from work. I cut out a little early because it's Monday. None of my stuff gets in on time so it's becoming normal for me to have to go back Monday evenings to finish my work. No big deal there. I like the privacy. I thought I'd hang out at home for a little while instead of wasting gas on a hot summer day looking at things I can't afford anyway.



When I walked into my apartment, it was like I walked into a dog pound that had just emptied all the kennels. It literally smells like poo in here. It is 100 degrees. OK, I exaggerate, really only 80. But still. It's Alabama in the middle of July. It's hot and it stinks. I get changed for the gym and cannot stop sweating and cannot figure out this horrid smell.



I had to check out what was up with the thermostat. That's when I found out it was broken.



I consider myself to be a neat freak. I do not like clutter. I do not like germs. I love Clorox and I love a squeaky clean shine. I love the smell of fresh things and find it much easier to relax when I'm not surrounded by clutter. That being said, I do not clean after others. I do not clean up a mess you left behind. I refuse. I don't care how tall the dishes in the sink get, I would rather buy something that doesn't require a dish for dinner than clean your dishes. Someone else's mess is not my responsibility. It pisses me off that people actually don't give a shit about this, but there are people in the world who literally think that if they loan a dish to a person, the loanee is then responsible for every dish in possession of the loaner. I live with two of them.



One of the two, in particular, amazes me. She defies the laws of science. I have never seen someone cook a meal, leave it out for five days - on the stove - without a cover, let it collect flies (yes, flies!!), then reheat it in in the microwave, then leave it in the microwave for three, THEN reheat it AGAIN, and not have one ailment from the 7 day life span of the food. She brings home a pizza, leaves it out for a week and then eats it. I'm amazed she isn't dead. I'm more amazed that she's never been deathly ill from this! Today, of all days, she left out an uncooked package of ground beef. It's next to all of her clean and dirty dishes in the sink.



Needless to say, I don't get to use my sink much. I don't use it unless I've cloroxed it, either.



It's also a fantastic idea to bring your own bottled water to my apartment and avoid the tap water.



So not only is it 80 billion blazing degrees in my home, it smells like poo because the walking miracle of science has left meat out...



Now, the maintenance man just left. He informed me that he had spoken with this roommate earlier about the A/C dying. He said that was this morning. So here it is, 4:30 PM, ground beef has been sitting out in my apartment, baking in humidity and 80 billion degree heat, she knew that the A/C was dead, and left the meat out anyway...

Bloody. Hell.

I. Cannot. Wait. To. Move. Downstairs.

Just warming up...

It's not even noon yet, as I write this, and I have so many tactless opinions to vomit currently it's not funny. Maybe I'm talking to you, maybe I'm not. Bottom line: I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I've collectively had about 12 hours of sleep the last three days; I'm in a bad mood.

• Don't tell me that I'm under review, that I have to turn in an unknown document by Saturday or get an automatic one on my review, and then not reply to my question of WTF the document is and what I need to do SINCE I'M OFF THE REST OF THE WEEK!

• Roommates: Clean up after yourselves. Some of you live like filthy pigs. It's disgusting! I get dust bunnies, I get scraps of paper left on the floor. I'm not cleaning up your dishes anymore, I'm not paying for you to use my toilet paper, I don't want your chicken juice on my food when it's thawing, I don't want the bacteria you let fester in the kitchen near me! If the dishwasher is clean and you have a dirty dish, empty the fucking dishwasher. Simple. Takes three minutes. Then put your dirty dish in. If the dish washer's full, start it! If you wash your clothes, please be considerate of others who need to wash their clothes; don't leave a load in the washer the night before you leave on a week long trip to somewhere. You're clothes are going to mildew cause they're just going to sit on top of the dryer, wet, until you come home. We cohabitate! Be considerate! And when you take the garbage out, put another bag in the damn can! Takes two seconds! I bought the damn bags, use them!

• Political activists on the Right and Left: SHUT UP! All of you! Right side: I didn't vote for him either but remember how the last 8 years all you said was, "We should support our President even if we didn't vote for him"? Yeah, waffle if you like, I was in political talk radio then, I've got it on tape. You said it, now act on it. He's you're President, support him. You don't have to like him, you don't have to agree with him, but he is your President now. Left side: I haven't said anything negative, I haven't said he needed to be impeached, I'm quite the moderate now as I get older so, quite frankly, you're not going to sway me either way. Please don't be like the Right for the last 8 years and rubbing in that their man's in a leadership position. Both sides: GROW UP! How many years have we been protesting, starting activist groups, leading campaigns against this and lobbying for that? Put active thought into that question, consider all of the rallies, protests, and petitions you can think of. --- I'll wait.----------Now that you've put some real thought (hopefully) into old and new political war cries, how many have actually worked without voting in the person to put into action? So instead of complaining how bad our economy is and whining about who put us in that situation, how about going back to work, be productive, make money, PUT THE MONEY BACK IN THE ECONOMY and make an active effort to fix our financial problems. Stop sitting on your funds because you're afraid. It takes spending it to get the economy moving again. It's how the system is designed to work. Tea Party People: You're just crazy to think anything is going to reform there. Yeah, just get over you're ideas. Stop saying they governments after your pelf when you know that majority of you (not 100%, but majority) are of the upper-middle class and say you're now live in poverty because of the economy. Taxes aren't going any where, they aren't going to be reformed in the near future unless we get a President elected who has the support to move the Fair Tax system.

• Coworkers: I can't work on Thursdays. I never ask for Saturdays off. Stop asking me to swap my A-day with you. It's not happening. I can't work Thursdays. It requires me to be in two places at once. I can't physically do that. Write it on a post it note, put it in your phone, tattoo it on your hand, put it somewhere you can remember to look. I've been there a year now, you've each asked on more than one occasion; the answer will always be no! Not on Thursdays, not right now. I will let you know when and if that should change!

Side note: I'm listening to Beethoven's Symphony 9: IV and it's getting me more charged for my vent. I haven't sipped my coffee while I've been writing this.

• The average Tweeter: Read the links before you post the story with your opinion in 140 characters or less. I'm annoyed with the number of people reading titles, assuming they know what the article is about, putting a little opinion about it next to the bity link, and submitting. Do you have any idea how stupid you look when people actually go read the link and find out that you're opinion has zero relation to the article you posted? I should unfollow you.

• Parents: Teach your damn children how to drive better! I'm a biker, I follow the same traffic laws as automobiles. That means you treat me the same way as a automobile. I am on a vehicle. I yield for you at yield signs, you yield for me. I stop for you, you stop for me. I will stay on the sidewalks as much as possible but three different teenagers almost committed manslaughter yesterday while I was heading to and from home. What makes me nervous is that teens follow their parents behaviors; you probably don't pay attention to pedestrians and bikers either. I just hope you have good insurance and don't kill me. DrSxDP will be pissed.

That being said,

• Pedestrians: USE THE SIDEWALK AND CROSSWALKS! If you jump out in front of my bike or car in a parking lot when I'm going 5 mph and flip me off for not stopping before you do so, you are jaywalking. I'm not psychic, I don't have x-ray vision. That's why I'm going 5mph! If I'm on my bike, or if you are around any biker for that matter, don't stand still in the bike path and look at us funny when we have to slam on our brakes from hitting you. Stupid twats, you almost deserve to be hit by a car. My insurance isn't that good, though, so you're lucky around me. Though, the mood I'm in today, jump out in front me and I may speed up!

• Some friends in particular that you already know who you are and I don't have to point you out because I've already given you my two cents on your predicament(s): If you aren't going to take my advice, please stop venting to me about how you don't know how to handle something or your life is in the shitter. I am your friend and will always be there for you, however, I will not tolerate pity parties when I've already told you how to handle a problem and you refuse to do it or listen. Honestly, for some of my friends more than others, I'm honestly concerned about how adamant you are about continuing your self-deprecation. You do not live in Shittown unless you want to. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, get back on again. But remember the definition of insanity it doing the same thing over and over again. You want to stay out of Shittown? Stop focusing on the things you can't control and focus on the things you can. When you control what should be organic, you create side effects like what you're experiencing now. Stop trying and let life happen naturally. Because I love you, I'm not listening to it anymore. It may be tough love, and it may hurt, but I don't like seeing you in the place you're in right now. It's time to start accepting the changes in life and going with things instead of manipulating them

• Internet Service Provider: Get off you're lazy ass and fix my connection problems already! Geez, it's old having to swap between all of your routers every five minutes!

I feel a good bit better now. God, I love writing...

The one where I went to the bar...

Girl's night out was last night. It was a blast! Last night for the Spring Breakers, everyone had just gotten back into town; the place was packed!

Just a few of the scenes I ran into that was well worth the cover charge:

• A man serenaded me with a harmonica
• The lead singer of the band was walking on the bar
• The lead singer was then carried around the room on a bouncer's shoulders...it was more odd.
• The lead singer (still trying to be the shit) tried to start a dance off in the middle of the bar. Major fail.
• A 62-year-old woman jumped up on the stage to hool-a-hoop.
• The 62-year-old woman then fell on the drums.
• A bachelorette was pulled up on stage for a song; no one cheered for her.
• The band had dangerously bad strobe lights
• The band also covered the backstreet boys...wth....wth...wth???

When it was all said and done last night and the bar yelled last call, I had a blast last night!

Yeah, that hurt.

So let me tell you about irrational.

I'm still flabbergasted at the fact that the opportunity to discuss this was not given to me.

He takes me to a movie. We may have had these movie plans awhile, however, my movie going experience has been ruined now. Have you seen Alice in Wonderland yet? Why yes, and then I got my heart broken again. He shares popcorn and a drink with me. We leave, discuss the movie. Then out of the blue he tells me my stuff is in the car. I clue in. I ask why. Because my feelings got hurt when I thought he'd bitten my head off. He didn't like that. Whether or not it was intentional or not, it was a miscommunication and deserved discussion.

For your information, there are two people in a relationship. That means there are two individual sets of emotions. One person's world doesn't revolve around you every second, as much you might like it to. That's why communication is key in a relationship and a person who truly loves another discusses a problem and doesn't run from it.

Instead of saying, "Hey, I have a problem with this," he ends it in the car, on the way home from the movie theatre.

And why did I dump you out on the side of the road to walk home? Because as I was trying to tell you before, I'm not the best Christian (you may or may not have gotten to that part because you continued to interrupt me with your "whatevers") that being said that I don't tithe - and for people who do tithe, it's a couple of bucks. You're ELIAS thing? You are paying $125 for a woman to tell you what an entity is communicating through her. My God doesn't do that and he doesn't charge, He just speaks directly to me. I was trying to ask you why couldn't yours? Instead you continuously interrupted me and disrespected me with your attitude. Hope you had a nice walk home.

I would like to say thank you for being one of the many men out there. Just like the lot of them. You make a promise, pretend to act on the promise, and then break it.

How's the view?

I would just like to add before this is read that I am in no way directing this piece to one person in particular. It is merely a reflection I observed throughout my day. Should you read this and feel that I am directing this toward you, know that I'm not and merely considered more the reason as to why you think maybe I am. I am just as guilty of letting my bad day tell me what to do. Considering the number of letters and postings I have put up here that do sometimes antagonize people, I thought I should let you know, these are just my rambling thoughts while sipping a hot cup of chocolate...

People are too busy worried about getting their next fix. We're all in some way addicted to drama. We may be addicted to our own or reality TV drama, we may be addicted to our friends or celebrity drama unfolding. We all say we don't care. The reality is that we really do. It feels good to know that we get to be in the know or our drama makes us important. The painful truth of that matter is that other people may not care about our own personal drama but about someone else's.

We're a society so fixed on staying angry, on who wronged us. We're all guilty of it. God knows I am! We wanted the wrongs righted. We want to be able to breathe a sigh that says we championed the villain and slayed the beast the hurt us and kicked us down. The degree of the wrongs or the level rather isn't up to us to interpret, despite the fact that it's our own wrong. We may feel it's completely worth venting and spitting over while others, be it friends, acquaintances, co-workers, or even family, tell us whether or not to worry. Have you ever noticed that we never listen to what others tell us? Repeat it over and over again if you like, the degree to which you worry about it is still up to you while someone else tells you different.

The thing about drama is that we let it control our attitudes to an extent that is unhealthy. Tiger had how many hoes?? He said that to her?? I'm so angry for him!! There's this redundant saying that attitudes are contagious. The fact is that they are. And anyone who's seen Pretty Woman agrees with Julia Roberts: the bad stuff is always easier to believe. Why is that?

Because it hurts us to tell someone the truth about a matter; therefore, it should hurt someone else just as much to tell us the truth about us. In my nearly thirty years of life, this is just something I've noticed to be true in not only my own world but in the world's of my other friend's as well. We all think we're right, and maybe we are. Who's to say that in every argument, both sides are right? There can be two wrongs and there can be two rights. Just because someone calls you fat or a drama addict doesn't necessarily mean that it's wrong or right. It just means someone else sees something different than you.

When something good happens to us, we rejoice. Have you ever timed how long you were happy about something? When something positive enters our existence, the people in our environment are joyful with us. Have you ever timed how long it took someone else to tell you to calm down your own excitement? How often do we take the time to pass along our positive attitude to others? Better yet, how often have you tried and been shunned for the very idea of trying to make someone smile, even if it was just for a second? I'm guilty of not doing that enough. Sometimes it feels like when I do, I get scolded. Other times, I feel more use for myself when I know I've put a grin on some one's face and their laughter in the air.

Now think about how many times we've had a negative attitude. It's been our own personal, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Nothing can go right. Everything can go wrong. I have been the walking Murphy's law. How often are we guilty of allowing our everyday frustrations control our emotional well being? How often do we discourage those who attempt to make us feel better when they care enough to light up our eyes? I'm sorry to everyone I've ever put down for trying to put me up.

We don't realize what our own attitudes can do to others until it's been done to us. It hurts when someone doesn't realize that you care. It's so much easier for us to pay forward our bad days instead of our good and so much harder for us to appreciate those who want to cast some ray of sunshine on our cloudy, cold day. It doesn't matter if it's a right or wrong, it's a matter of dramatizing our own emotions. We blind ourselves with our own present emotional well-being to the point we can't see what we do to the attitudes of others. When we try, we learn our lesson, and make sure others learn it, too- even if they don't have to. The sad part is that because of that, we kill the potential for a happier society.

In Utopia, the criminals are the people who are raised to steal, cheat, and destroy. They are then punished for the very things that they are taught to do. They never learn to perform any differently. In today's society, the people who pay forward their good deeds are the one's punished for trying to make the unhappy happy. No good deed goes unpunished. I learned that lesson today.

There is no good timing for happiness when anger, hurt, or frustration is involved.

Just as you learned your lesson, I learned mine.

The difference in a positive attitude and a negative one is that the negative gives up while the positive keeps going. Just because someone else doesn't want to smile doesn't mean that I don't. The content inherently want to share their felicity.

Yes, we're addicted to drama. We're addicted to ourselves. Something to remember about the people who want you to smile when you are stressed, hurt, venting, getting over, or stewing over your own drama: those are the people who love you and your drama...no matter how important it really is.

I have my own faults and I have my own drama that I'm guilty of obsessing over too much. The next time someone tries to make me smile, I hope I'm not so blinded I can't remember what it's like from their view. I hope I smile back.

Fingernails and Chalkboards

Let me tell you what I can't stand. I just noticed a person I know doing this. Soapbox.

I hate hypocrites. They piss me off. Just be yourself! I can't stand it when people pretend to speak or do what is socially acceptable just to keep your status.

For example, if you're gay, you're obviously gay, just say so. Who gives a shit? I don't! It's always the negative voices you hear because the people who don't give a shit don't care enough to say, "So what?" and believe me, the number of people who have the latter mentality far exceed the idiots who condemn something they are uncomfortable with.

Another example, it could be as simple has not liking college football but pretending to because you live in a college town, you're afraid you'll hurt yourself. I have a lot of choice words to say about people who pretend to be something they aren't. Family reads this; I won't say them.

Why is it so hard for people today to just appreciate what they like, want, or do? Why be ashamed? There are millions of people around you! Just because one group of people doesn't accept you for your personality traits doesn't mean you don't fit in. It means that you've just been saved from having meaningless associates who judge your for something they are either jealous of or uncomfortable with.

And by all means, don't pretend to like something just to keep up appearances. People see straight through you.

These last two weeks have been great! I should probably explain, that's because I quit my job! I have been doing absolutely nothing...well that part's not true, really. I have been doing quite a lot.

Truth is, I have made a huge change and that's required a lot of tedious things to be done. I haven't just lost my ever-loving mind and have decided that jobless will pay my bills. In fact, I already have another job lined up, but I am not starting until I get back from the beach.

Which is where I am right now.

Be jealous - it's beautiful down here!! OK - don't be jealous - pack a bag and come see how beautiful it is!!

The water is clear, the weather is perfect, the sun is out, the tanned resort boys are out putting the cushions out this morning...it's great!! In fact, the view is so awesome, my bed is right next to the window facing the ocean!

Take 2

You're going to call me an idiot.

I went on a date with D#1 tonight. I got weak!!

We had a good talk last night. He had been sending me text messages begging for forgiveness and admitting that he's an asshole. That part made me smile. I didn't have to even tell him! He called me, eventually, seeing as text message eventually get confusing when discussing something serious. I listened to what he had to say, but I made sure D#1 heard what I had to say.

Needless to say, it bothers me a bit that he has the same bottom line over and over again. He thinks that my irritation is solely in reference to his ogling of other females. In actuality, it's not. It's his behavior generally while intoxicated. It's the fact that he is the age that he is and was as irresponsible and insulting as he was. At first he didn't understand why it was such a big deal to me; and if he doesn't still, then I had a great free meal and probably the last for a minute.

D#1 now has boundaries and stipulations. There is to be no drinking around me. There is to be no threatening bodily harm to my friends. Actually, after some time has passed, it's up to him to make amends with my friends and make things right. He screwed his first impression with them and many others. K thinks I'm crazy and can't wait to say, "I told you so." He has other guidelines to follow as well.

I say, I have made things so strict for him that I will be surprised if he sticks around passed the weekend.

This is like having my own little bitch!

In the end, he said he wanted what we had back. I told him that what we had led to our problem. Why not modify it and do things differently; not make the same mistakes again? If he can't do that, then I'll know now that I am wasting my time.

Stephanie's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Date

I feel like a bad person after my weekend. I know that I probably shouldn't.

Friday night started off very normal for me. D#1 was taking me out to go see a local band here in town, one I've seen several times before and was a little nervous about my behavior to come. Never in a million years did I think that D#1's behavior is what I should have worried about.

We get to the bar, he orders shots. "I'm only doing one, babe," I tell him. "I'm driving, k, and I have to work in the morning."

"OK" he answers. The night goes on as normal, we all chat and cut up at the table, dance to the music, have a blast.

Another hour later, more shots. Disrespect. I had met a couple of my friends at this bar and one of my friends and I head to the stage. I didn't want to do anymore shots. A few songs later, I work my way back to the table and find out that D#1 is obliterated. He's not just drunk, he's tore up. I also find out that he's been talking and rubbing up on other women while I've been away.

WTH???

I also find out that he just wants to get me, "Patroned Up," this coming from my friends of course.

Now, before I go any further, let's preface this!

I have known D#1 for three weeks at this point. I'm very turned off by this drunken behavior. I'm turned off by his staggering, wandering, now-grabbing self at this bar where he had balls enough to do this in front of my friends! I'm also extremely disappointed because he had presented himself to be an all-around nice, hard-working guy. He always got the door for me, which I really liked!! I know, cheesy.

I've known my friends much longer. They know more about what I've been through this year than most. They will always be looking out for me; I trust them for that. I understand I'm not the only one who's had a hard time, however, my friends are trying to make sure things don't get harder for me.

So, D#1 goes missing. With my car keys. And I want to go home. Twenty or thirty minutes later, I finally find his swaying self talking to a group of girls at the bar. I brushed into him to let him know I was behind him and he blew me off completely. I still didn't have my keys.

A few minutes later, he finds me, rests his head on my shoulder and starts the passing out process. I have no clue how many he's had by now, but I want to go home and I don't want to take him with me.

"Hey, give me my keys real quick." I held out my hands and he reached in his pocket to pause.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm just headed to the car to get something for K really quick," I answered. I want my keys so I can leave your drunk ass here to go home with some other bitch. I turned to go catch up with K outside for a second and he follows me. He wants to go with me!

"Hey, Babe, you're toasted!" I guided him to a chair. "Sit right here, I'm going to go with for a second, K?"

All he could do was nod. His eyes were glazed over and half shut. His mouth was hanging open and he couldn't stand anymore. For two seconds, I thought about getting him some water but I knew that it was a waste of my time. I also was pissed.

K and I pick up her sister down the street, walk back and we find him completely passed out at this time, in front of the bar. He looked like a conversation piece! We go back inside, party and play some more, have a good time. Meanwhile, I'm texting some of my friends to find out of if they are coming out, find a guy friend to walk me to my car. I knew that D#2 was at home and I really didn't need an escort home, just to my car!

No Luck.

1 am, I left. By myself.

My date was left up front, passed out in a chair with plastic cups thrown on him. Actually, a little bird told me there is a picture of this floating around the internet now!!!LMAO!!!

1:15 am, Roommate gets the d/l. We gather all of D#1's belongings together and make sure he has no reason to come in the apartment when he does make it back.

2 am, D#1 has made it back. D#2 answers the door gives him his bag and tells him to leave.

It was a TNT moment from here; he says he's forgotten something in my room, he's hidden cash. I nodded to D#2 that it was OK. He walks back to my room and doesn't see me in the kitchen. Something slammed. D#2 runs back to my room and starts walking him back to the front. D#1 sees me. D#1 is drunk and begins to curse me inherently to the devil. FYI, I'm an f'n whore and f'n bitch. He was so intoxicated, I don't think he had any other colorful metaphors to describe me.

D#2 steps up at this time, gives him two options: Leave or be put out. I love my new roommate!! "Dude, look you've got her in a corner. Just call her when your sober. I'll help you get your stuff to your truck."

The two D's leave.

Ten minutes later, they are still outside talking.

D#1 is crying like a baby.

Apparently, he denied all of it. He was never talking to other women, trying to get me patroned up and he never told anyone that I needed to stay with him for his money -- He loves me!!

Fireworks

What a crazy week and weekend it's been!! Hope everyone had a great fourth! Mine was spent on the lake with all of my friends and their children - food and beer included. It was awesome! Until I lost my house keys!! That didn't ruin my weekend, though! The fireworks were great, the water was awesome and I had a blast! Thanks to Dee Ann for having us all over!!

Met a couple of potential roommates as well this weekend. Oh the decisions I will have to make -- but more on that later!!

I have come to a conclusion that I need a list! I have attracted too many weirdos. I'm just a magnet for them. So I'm going to make a list - a big, long, picky list of requirements that a guy has to meet before I can go out on a date with him. Certainly that should nip some of this in the bud!!

Need a moment

I don't particularly care to bitch on here that often. I realize that my thoughts are up here for the world to read. That's probably one of the main reasons I haven't written as much lately -- I just don't want to come across as bitchy but I have to do this...at this point, I'm just frustrated.

Let me start with this: Dating is stupid. Men are stupid. Most men are just boys.

Here's why: guy #1, date a bit, we move in opposite directions, no love lost. Now, ding-dong wants to know why I don't speak to him anymore, if he can come over and "cuddle," and if we can be "special friends." Really?? How about a big fat no when you showed up at my apartment unannounced and when you told me you were at my door at 3 am another time, and really weren't even there?! That is a big fat, "Stay the hell away from me!"

Guy #2, Cool guy, fun to hang around. I love to hang out with him because there is no pressure at all! Pretty open relationship, able to date/see other people, free to hang out with friends, with each other or with each other and our friends. Just a fun person - Until I found out he tried to pick up a friend of mine at that bar...is that jealousy??? Wth???

Guy #3, Total sweetheart. I can't say enough good thing about him. I'm just not ready to give him what he's looking for - despite the fact he still wants it from me. I have to say for a minute that I thought maybe I could try but let me honestly say that I'm so far from that right now. What I need more of right now are friends who are just there for me but allow me my space when I need it.

The reason I bring this up?? Because all of it is unnecessary drama! Every ounce of it! This is why dating is stupid, this is why it's a waste of my time, this is why I didn't want to date to begin with.

I don't understand why things have to be blown out of proportion, why some people just don't take what you say for what it's worth. I don't understand why some people don't understand that no means no. I don't get why men are so...persistent and dead set on making sure the crazy one's are only attracted to me! That's for another time!

And men say women are complicated - I say men complicate women!

I know at least of the three reads this blog, however, I wish all three did. This is my message to them, and yes, to all you guidance counselors, I have said this bluntly, I hate drama. I've had enough drama in my life the last year, to be exact, and I want no more of it. I want to be selfish for once and have me time. I don't have to justify it. I don't have to excuse it. I don't have to explain myself. Quite frankly, it's none of your damned business what I do with my time, and if you don't like it, do what I told you to do in the beginning and move on. I've had enough bullshit to deal with, especially in the last six months, and quite frankly, your bullshit is not even close to the hell I've been through.

Don't bring drama into my home and expect me to pet your ego. Don't take things so seriously. If you can't, find someone else who finds it just as important as you do...I don't want your drama.

The one where he got my number

I've been wanting to write this one for awhile.

Several weeks back, my friends threw me a "Freedom Party," for lack of a better term.

I had just found out that my divorce was final and was ex tactic! Free! Free!! Free!!! After several months of unending headaches, I finally was divorced. So we celebrated at a local bar in town where a band was playing.

The band, who is coming to town again soon and I can't wait to go see again, found out that I was newly single. At the same time, in the bar with us was a bachelorette party. Now, this is the part of the evening that, yes, is a bit groggy. A bit, a bit.

I was dressed in a black shirt and tight jeans. The stress I've been through has done wonders for the body, I tell you! My friend, who threw this party for me, was wearing nothing but a bra/vest type deal and even tighter jeans. Hate her...she pulled it off!!! Up on the stage we're pulled, shots being passed around everywhere.

I look over to my right and on stage with me is this poor, pitiful looking bride. I wanted to slap sense into her like someone should have done to me. My friend grabbed the microphone, screamed, "DON'T DO IT!" as the innocent was being introduced. She looked so happy; taking advantage of the last thread of wild in her. The crowd gave a clap while she raised her drink and spun around, holding the clumsy veil on her head.

I thought, "You look like you're about to be sacrificed." Meanwhile, I heard my name called.

"And this girl, ladies and gentlemen, very big night for her. While the other girl is getting married next week, Stephanie, is celebrating her divorce!!!" The next thing I know, the room is going A.P.E.S.H.I.T!!!! More drinks are being passed around, someone is dancing with me onstage, I'm getting high fives and congratulations...

It was crazy!!

Finally, I get back to my table after the journey of high fives and shots. How I hadn't fallen in my high heels is beyond me.

About that time, a very tall guy comes our way. I knew for certain he headed for my friend. I brushed him off until he sat next to me and leaned in.

"Crazy night, huh?"

"Yeah," I was pretty shy about meeting new people. Give me a break. It'd been a few months but meeting people in a bar was definitely not on my top ten things to do. "It's good to get out and have some fun, tho!!"

He had on a ball cap and a pressed polo shirt. His crooked little smile made his eyes sparkle a bit. But it was very dark, making out his face again would be difficult. I looked down and started playing with my phone.

"Hey, I like that phone!" He pointed to my toy. "Can I see it a sec?"

"Uh, sure?"

"So, are you from here?"

"Not originally."

He looked up from my phone a moment, "You don't sound southern."

"Well, I am...just not good with the accent!" I laughed. Sometimes I tend to sound a bit Yankee. I get made fun of for it, too.

"Well, I just put my number in your phone. Text me sometime!"

What the hell?!

I have Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome

This week has been filled with nothing but awkward moments. Two in particular that left the room filled with that silent moment where everyone was looking at the elephant in the room.

Recently, about once a week, I've been meeting my friend Heather for coffee. I love Heather. She is one of the sweetest, most genuine people in the world. She's probably the best friend a person could have! During one of our weekly coffee jaunts, she mentioned her study group was starting a movie study. It would begin Tuesday and the girls would watch Fried Green Tomatoes. I love that movie! Bud-dyyyy!!! Can't watch it and not cry.

Tuesday, she picks me up and we go to her friends house. We were early (yes, it is in writing that I was early somewhere) and one other woman came in shortly after us.

I didn't pay her much attention, other than our hairstyles were quite similar. Lots of waves, shoulder length and hers was red. She was older than me and had a welcoming face.

"Stephanie, this is Kristen, she's my attorney," Heather introduced.

Bell is ringing.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you. What's your firm?"

"Kristen Love," she answered. DING DING DING DING

Stephanie, don't say what you're about to say!! "I thought you looked familiar! You're one of the first attorneys I visited when I was getting my divorce!"

Doh!!!

Last night capped my "Insert Foot Here" moments when an old co-worker came into town for a visit.

Not having seen my friend in months, I really wanted to go out with everyone to go get a drink and catch up. At some point, we landed at The Booth, where an acquaintance was having her birthday party. I don't know her very well, I used to work with her late brother. However, I did frequent her salon to get my hair done, and that's where I was introduced to one of my favorite hairstylists ever.

If you're not a girl, you don't understand. Let me give you an idea. Hair is expensive. Thick hair like mine is even more expensive to cut and color. I don't go often and am always looking for someone who can do a good job for less than $50. It's very difficult to find. Until I met Jennifer who does an awesome job and under $50! She rocks! I also liken it breaking up with someone when I leave a good hair stylist. I didn't tell Rachel I wasn't going to see her anymore.

Whilst sipping my beer, I looked over my shoulder, and hear, "Why did you stop seeing me?!!!"

Shit! "I was broke?"

The one where Stephanie takes an Ambien...

I have advice for you. If you are instructed to take any sleep medication called Ambien, take it exactly as prescribed. In fact, if your doctor gives you a prescription, as for a lower dose! Then, follow his directions very closely; never stray. It's vital that you never go more than two months between dosages as well. The results can be rather...embarrassing.

I had a long weekend. It was an awesome, fantastic weekend. It was Mother's Day! I had family time, friend time, social activities! I even sold half a car! It was a very pleasant and memorable weekend.

It was also tiring, and I don't have the best time sleeping and staying asleep these days. That is why I have Ambien.

I don't like this medication. It works, I sleep, however, I wake up feeling like I am a bottle of whiskey rather than having had a full nights sleep. Also, I've heard of the nightmares that can happen while on this drug. From people talking to walls, sleepwalking, even driving somewhere while asleep! I make sure to take it when I can devote more than 9 hours to sleep!

That was last night. I had 9 hours to sleep, despite the few hours left until the beginning of my work week. At 8:45 pm, I took my little white pill, made sure my door was locked, hid my keys, grabbed my dog and laid in the bed. At 6:00 am this morning, I woke up, groggy and hung over, and looked through my phone for any missed messages. I didn't remember much of the previous night, however, my friend, M, did. This is what I found out:

Usual morning text to M, "Good Morning!"

M: Good Morning! How was your Ambien sleep?

Me: Uhh..Good? Slept hard, lots of dreams!

Oh shit! I talked in my sleep!

Me: OMG I TALKED IN MY SLEEP DIDN'T I??!

M: Yes. You did.

Me: About what??

M: Mardi Gras, archbishops, fishing. U said the room was crowded with people in mardi gras costumes. U likd the white padded and crystal rooms.

Me: Fishing!!?

M: You said Ambien had a little car that took you from room to room and you want to find the cyrstal room again.

M: The xmen were hanging banners and wanted 2 b treated normal, the guy in the chair wouldn't stop staring at u, there were 2 kids playing b ball, ne going fishin

M: People on the mountain singing, u were at Target, you couldn't get Ambien's car started...

Me: I'm so embarrassed!

M: Don't be!

Me: Why didn't you hang up on me?!

M: You were cute and you said that you didn't want me to hang up!

Me: LMAO! I was obviously asleep! I'd have never known!! How long did I talk???

M: An hour.

Who says safety has to be an issue!!

Did you know the Blue Angels were in town? If you live in Alabama and didn't know that, welcome back from under that rock you've been living underneath. It has been a very fun week in Tuscaloosa! Always something flying over!

Except for the Blue Angels...

I've been teased all week long. You can hear them, but where I work, you can' see them! So many of my friends send me texts:

Friend #1: I just saw the Blue Angels fly over!!

Me: Oh! Awesome! I can hear them, too! Maybe they'll fly over the dealership soon!

Friend #1: Well they scared [Child] to death! They are loud! I didn't know what it was!!

Me: O I hope 2 c them soon!! Tell them to fly over here!

Friend #2: The Blue Angels are practicing over my building!!

Me: Oh neat! Wat r they doin? I'm going 2 c them Sun! Can't wait!

Friend #2: Flying upside down!! You should go Sat! It's going 2 b beautiful!

Me: Can't. Have 2 work. Chance of rain down for Sun, tho.

Friend #2: They are flying so low you can see the pilot! They just waved!

Another friend of mine from work went on Saturday, too. It was a beautiful day yesterday! The sun was out, not a cloud in the sky, you could hear the planes, people were everywhere in Tuscaloosa. My friend correctly predicted this would happen. When James Spann says "storms" in the forecast, people duck and run. Storms are in the forecast for today...

So while my friend was hanging out at the airport, grilling out, drinking a beer at Tuscaloosa's small airport Saturday - on the most beautiful day we've had in weeks - I was working, waiting impatiently for my turn to see the much heard of Blue Angels!

I wake up this morning, fix my coffee, sit down with dog, turn on the computer and enjoy the silent hum it makes while it boots. Then, a familiar sound of thunder starts to rumble. Are the planes already coming in? It's a little early... Then a huge flash of light, a loud clap of thunder and the April showers start.

I can't listen to the Blue Angels all week and NOT see them.

Gates open in one hour and 39 minutes. It's not raining near like it was earlier...but given the slight chance that it could continue, I'm going to have to demand that the Blue Angels and all other stunt and show planes fly today. I feel like I'm being teased... Safety? What safety! A little rain never hurt people jumping out of planes with parachutes!!!

Much ado about Neighbors

I am going to the gym twice a day now. I really rather enjoy it. Honestly, I can't say I go twice a day, everyday, however, I can say that majority of my free time is now spent at the gym!

Why on earth would you spend so much free time there!! you ask??

It's simple.

My downstairs neighbors are loud. Not just noisy, but L.O.U.D.

For example; yesterday, I come in from Calera in the evening around 9. I live in a predominately quiet area, until you get to my front door. I run up the stairs, slide in my key. Somebody sure is thumpin'! I think. Open the door, flip on the light and realize, Oh, that's my neighbor!

Currently, they are watching a montage of music videos. I just heard some Johnny Cash. Right now, it's a heavy metal song I haven't ID'd yet.

Why haven't you don't something about this??! Oh the craziness of that idea! If I had money for every time I've called the police on them and they still not turn the volume down, I wouldn't have to work anymore. And the landlord? She has sent letters and made phonecalls.

Why can't they get the point?? I think they are now turning things up out of spite! If I hadn't of already called the police on them a few hundred times, I might take initiative to knock on their door and say, "Turn that down!!" Instead, I spend most of my evenings at the gym so by the time I get home, they are already in bed asleep!!

It hasn't been all that bad, though...Right...The other night they had a party. I think it was a Mardi Gras party. Several of their friends came over and they sang karaoke till midnight! It was a great time had by all! Especially when I was in my room on the other end of my apartment and they were still in the living room singing Pearl Jam for the 8th time. Did you know drunk men tend to sing the same song over and over again?? I didn't! And the following night, they listened to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, which is my favorite Pink Floyd album - seriously! So that night wasn't too awfully bad.

It's nights like right now where I wish I could be like Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men and take a remote to their window and turn down their TV and stereo...

How did I do?

So the race was Sunday.

It was awesome! That was one of the best experiences of my life and I will definately be participating in another half, maybe a full marathon, the future!!

My finish time was actually faster than I thought, 2:32:20. In women 25-29, I finished 214, overall I finished 2294 (that's out of 2954 people), I finished 1,040 out of all women and ranked 214 for my first half-marathon.

There were so many people! I don't think I've ever seen that many people before in my life! I was running down one street and watching a herd of people run down another street a few blocks away from me, meanwhile, there is still a huge mass of people behind me! It was I.N.S.A.N.E!!!!

My favorite part was the two women playing "Eye of the Tiger" under the train tracks on there accordian. Oh, and the runner in the too-too. They were great!

Rattling Nerves

The race is Sunday! I'm so nervous!

I'm so excited at the same time! I can't believe it's already here!!

I've finished all the training and right now I'm tapering so the only thing I have left to do is run 13.1 miles!

I'm still dealing with some life changing events right now so I can't tell you how good this race has ended up being for me. It's really helped me through a difficult time in my life right now. I really don't care to go into any further detail about my life - eventhough this blog is about my personal life. But believe me, there are some funny stories going on right now that I will be able to laugh about until my sides hurt! I'm just not ready to discuss it, yet, and quite frankly, I'm not sure when I will be ready. Just pray for me! And pray I don't get injured this weekend!

I'm so excited! I hope I don't get stuck behind the balloon lady!