I'd get married again just to not have a roommate

My Internet crapped out after the storm. It's not in my name so I told the roommate, J, who has the bill for the Internet. It became pulling teeth to find out if anything was getting done. Bottom line, because I don't feel like telling all the details, I asked her to get it fixed or just reimburse me my money since I'd paid her for the full summer. I was put off, given excuses, told she didn't have money since she lost her job from the storm, somebody had to do this, somebody had to do that... It was getting super tiresome and I'm too old for this shit.

So... when she posted on her facebook that she was going to the bars (after the cruise she took after she lost her job, after she claimed her sibling that doesn't live with her on her income taxes and after she told me she didn't have any money to pay reimburse me), A posted something about her and money and Internet and I don't know...

and then she started calling.... and calling... until I answered.

She was irrational and telling me what I needed to tell "my boyfriend" to do and to delete and I'm thinking... wtf... and tell her calm down and wtf? Then I lit into her. First about getting the damn Internet fixed and that this had gone on long enough. Second about whatever between her and A was staying between her and A because he is his own individual and is autonomous.

Then the best thing happened: she took me off of facebook so I couldn't even see what was said! Darn.

So I sent her this message:

Well I went to check and see what Adam had said to make you so angry and I see that you have unfriended me. To be perfectly honest I don't care. I know that I can't help you with this kind of behavior.

Creating this much drama over me telling you I couldn't connect to the Internet is just irrational and ridiculous. I find stuff like this insultingly juvenile and petty. The thing that I hate is that when I tried to talk to you like an adult, you had to get irrational they way you did. And not only on the phone this evening but even in the apartment when you asked me to stop sending you Facebook messages. This type of behavior is extremely immature. There is absolutely no reason for any drama to be brought into this issue. I honestly feel that you were looking for something to be upset with me over and the fact that I tried to be cooperative and courteous insulted you. That makes absolutely no sense. I wish I knew what I have done to make you so incredibly angry with me. I've always been open to making things right with people, especially if I've wronged them. You're an adult. I expected better out of you.

I am not expecting you to respond to this message, and honestly I don't want you to. I'm relieved that I won't have any financial ties to you in the apartment, as well, especially after the way you behaved with me on the phone and in the apartment. I'm relieved to not have to worry about unnecessary drama. I regret that the resolution of you giving me back my $29 didn't come sooner so that I could have made other arrangements for Internet connection. I hope one day you can look back and see how petty and stupid this argument is.

Who's Blonde?

So I decided to change my hair color! It was random. I've always wanted to see what I would look like as a brunette and got a wild hair up my ass and decided to try it.

So last week I bought a bottle of hair color. However, I should've consulted someone who's colored hair before consider I've never colored my own hair. What's helpful to know is that when one has a lot of hair (like I do) sometimes, one bottle of Garnier is not enough! Sometimes when you have thick, long locks (like I do), you require TWO bottles to get the job done.

And as brilliant as I am, I decided to get this wild hair at 10 o'clock at night.

So when my roommates come in to see what I'm doing, one mentions, "Is that enough hair color??"

"Uhhh...."

"Stephanie, you need more hair color..."

My hair was only half way saturated when the bottle emptied. So while one roommate and I were stretching the color as far as it would go, the other two roommates were trying to find a place in town that was still open and had my hair color...

There wasn't a place open that also had my hair color. Big fat zero in that part of the Venn Diagram. So while Auburn was making their undeserving comeback in overtime against Clemson (oh so close!), I was rinsing hair color out of my hair for the second time this week. And that is why I love my friend, T, because she helped me put $20 worth of hair color in my hair to make it much darker than before, and I think A is happy with it, too. Yay, for happy endings!

Reliving Quiet Me Time....**Sigh**

I've had the most relaxing, quiet afternoon at home. It's been so peaceful!

After what's seemed like days of going and going and going post vacation, I was very excited to take a leisurely afternoon to myself! I've been reading P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern. It's a book I started at the beach and it got so hectic there with family fun that I wasn't able to read more. Once I got home, I had the move, I had work, I've had remotes, not to mention at some point I have to see A for some sanity, I haven't had much time to pick it back up! So this afternoon, following two blistering hot days in the sun watching mother's send off their children to college in U-Hauls and high-heels, I picked up my book again and haven't been able to put it down much!

This book is definitely climbing to one of my favorites of all times. I've never read a book that can make me laugh my arse off and then make me cry like a baby in one paragraph. I've never seen the movie; I've already put it on the top of my Netflix queue so when I finally mail that wretched movie I rented last time (The Goods, not good, very bad, so bad, I've considered it my civic duty to NOT mail it back!) I will get the movie in and laugh and cry like a baby all over again.

The rest of the roommates move in next Wednesday. I'm kind of nervous and I'm really not looking forward to it. Being in college again and wanting to be successful is exceptionally difficult when you have ten years on everyone. I'm praying that I get some A++, pencil-pushing, "partying is of the Devil" girls in here!!

The likelihood of that actually happening for me....not high

The Day the A/C Died

I just got in from work. I cut out a little early because it's Monday. None of my stuff gets in on time so it's becoming normal for me to have to go back Monday evenings to finish my work. No big deal there. I like the privacy. I thought I'd hang out at home for a little while instead of wasting gas on a hot summer day looking at things I can't afford anyway.



When I walked into my apartment, it was like I walked into a dog pound that had just emptied all the kennels. It literally smells like poo in here. It is 100 degrees. OK, I exaggerate, really only 80. But still. It's Alabama in the middle of July. It's hot and it stinks. I get changed for the gym and cannot stop sweating and cannot figure out this horrid smell.



I had to check out what was up with the thermostat. That's when I found out it was broken.



I consider myself to be a neat freak. I do not like clutter. I do not like germs. I love Clorox and I love a squeaky clean shine. I love the smell of fresh things and find it much easier to relax when I'm not surrounded by clutter. That being said, I do not clean after others. I do not clean up a mess you left behind. I refuse. I don't care how tall the dishes in the sink get, I would rather buy something that doesn't require a dish for dinner than clean your dishes. Someone else's mess is not my responsibility. It pisses me off that people actually don't give a shit about this, but there are people in the world who literally think that if they loan a dish to a person, the loanee is then responsible for every dish in possession of the loaner. I live with two of them.



One of the two, in particular, amazes me. She defies the laws of science. I have never seen someone cook a meal, leave it out for five days - on the stove - without a cover, let it collect flies (yes, flies!!), then reheat it in in the microwave, then leave it in the microwave for three, THEN reheat it AGAIN, and not have one ailment from the 7 day life span of the food. She brings home a pizza, leaves it out for a week and then eats it. I'm amazed she isn't dead. I'm more amazed that she's never been deathly ill from this! Today, of all days, she left out an uncooked package of ground beef. It's next to all of her clean and dirty dishes in the sink.



Needless to say, I don't get to use my sink much. I don't use it unless I've cloroxed it, either.



It's also a fantastic idea to bring your own bottled water to my apartment and avoid the tap water.



So not only is it 80 billion blazing degrees in my home, it smells like poo because the walking miracle of science has left meat out...



Now, the maintenance man just left. He informed me that he had spoken with this roommate earlier about the A/C dying. He said that was this morning. So here it is, 4:30 PM, ground beef has been sitting out in my apartment, baking in humidity and 80 billion degree heat, she knew that the A/C was dead, and left the meat out anyway...

Bloody. Hell.

I. Cannot. Wait. To. Move. Downstairs.

Dear Roommate

Dear roommate,

As I right this, you are in the shower, your music in your room is louder than mine in my room, you've left all the lights on, we only have on bathroom, and I really have to pee.

I hear you're pitter patter back and forth between the hall; I understand you are getting ready. However, you have been getting ready for the last 1 hour and 26 minutes and during that time, I've had to pee. That urge is getting considerably worse. With this letter, I am begging of you to allow me some relief.

Please step out of the bath. Please gather the necessary items and do your hair and make-up in your room. Please allow me a few brief seconds in our shared bath to go. I must so bad and quite honestly, I'm urging on can't hold it anymore!

I apologize for the grotesque nature of this text. I simply don't think you can hear me calling your name over your MTv and radio. Also, the squatting dance was not my impersonation of Michael Jackson, it was me trying to ask for permission to enter the bathroom. I am simply beginning to have much difficulty and discomfort; please! please! allow me just a few brief minutes of this huge chunk of time you need to get ready!

Thank you, now get out of my way!

Sincerely,

Your roommate

PS - I'm going to sit on your bed until you're done :)

Man in the house

My new roommate has moved in.

Let me tell you how chaotic this has been! It should be very easy for someone to move their paraphernalia in a home, however, you also have to move your stuff out so they have room for there's! Geez!!! I have a lot of stuff! Fortunately, I'm not a pack rat!

My guest room is where I had stored my Christmas decor. All of that has been consolidated and moved to a storage closet. The rest of the items in there were is to dispose.

I think I've found a good fit, for a roomie that is. D #2 works nights, I work days. To make things even more fun, he has several similarities with the guy I'm currently seeing (D #1). Keeping the conversations straight has been very interesting! Here's a list of what they have in common:

• Both have the same name

  Both are from the same state

  Both are in the same industry

  Both work long hours

  Both raised cocker spaniels

  Both cook Yes!!!!

Let's just say that I have confused the history of these two more than once... But they've met each other, and to make it even more hilarious to me only maybe my roommate gets along with the guy I'm dating maybe better than I do! WTH?!