Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Today's message brought to you by the Holy Spirit

So the first couple of weeks of semester II have been stressful. That's an understatement. I don't have time for anything and I have to admit for the first time I feel like I would prefer to become a recluse. I'm really tired of people asking me to do things repeatedly after I tell them that I can't. I feel like I'm saying "I can't" more and more these days because of nursing school. It's depressing.

I haven't seriously thought about quitting but I have been questioning if I've been in the right place. This is incredibly intense and any sound person in this program has to also be asking themselves, "Am I in the right place." I just keep that thought tucked in the back of my mind and occasionally it pops out in times of super stress... so I think about it more right now than I realize.

I digress. The purpose of this post is to share the email I got today from my mother. It came out of the blue and this has only happened one other time in my life.... also from my mother. It gave me the chills when I considered the amount of stress that I'm under and helped me to kind of validate this intense amount of pressure and excuse the uncertainty.

Hey, Stephanie-- I have a friend who prays for me and my children and knows you're in nursing school at the U of A. She doesn't work here anymore, but she called me this morning because she said the Holy Spirit told her this message regarding YOU. She said He said "This is her time to step out in faith". She said "But wait, she has two daughters...which one is it?" She said He said, "Nursing".
That's you. I don't know what that means, but if you have a decision to make, this must be your answer. I love you!
So what do you think about that?

Monday, August 8, 2011

Busy fingers


Rest is so underrated when you're in nursing school.

I'm doing absolutely nothing but catching up on television shows everyone talks about and knitting. In fact, I've been focusing on this one project I started last spring for my mum. It's a scarf I had to put down last spring. I had planned on finishing it before the summer semester started, however, there was this little tornado in Tuscaloosa...I'm sure you've heard about that.

Needless to say, I've made good progress, I believe. I'm hoping to finish this today and start on some baby projects for all of my girlfriends who are about to pop...actually... starting now!

Yesterday, we had a grill out to celebrate surviving semester I. It was awesome. I hope everyone had a good time. I love having all of my friends over. They are my Tuscaloosa family. I'm so blessed to be surrounded by a great support network. And people who introduce me to great recipes to try, like the amazing sweet potato cobbler we made and we each subsequently made love to.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Another small step towards the big picture

The BSN NURSING degree has been chosen as the toughest degree among all the college degrees by the Guinness Book of World Records on 18 MAY 2011 . It has 64 university exams + 130 series exams + 174 assignments within 4 years (max 1000 working days). RMFT

And I passed pathophysiology today.

They say semester II is worse than I... I say, "Bring it, Semester II!" Rrrrriiight after I finish this two week sabbatical...

Sunday, July 31, 2011

The Home Stretch

Friday afternoon feels so far away but it is so close. I will have survived my first semester in upper division.

This has been exhausting. I've had a lot of unnecessary stress during this time, so I'm sure that hasn't helped my experience any. However, I still have loved every second of being there.

Currently, I have 12 chapters of material to make sure I know backwards, forwards, inside, and out by Thursday at 8 am. Who's idea was that time?? I'm not just physically exhausted, I'm mentally exhausted. I can barely focus on anything. I just have to pull that last little bit of energy out of me to make it and then Friday night, it's me, a bottle of wine, netflix, the cat, and maybe a pizza.

The pizza is only if I can get the magically disappearing $300 back from Kangaroo and Raceway. Somehow, I purchased $300 worth of gas at these stations. McQueen doesn't hold that much gas, in fact, it only holds approximately $28 worth at a time, and I most certainly do not have $300 worth of gas in canisters somewhere. Just more unwanted stress I have to handle. I'm going to have to skip the test review in the morning to go to the bank and not only change my address but alert them to fraud on my account and fill out whatever I need to get my moneys back. Thank God I have a good bank (knock on wood) and I feel confident I'm going to get my $300 back. It's just a scary thing to realize that you are holding your debit card and somehow, not one but two gas stations have added additional charges to your card even after you cleared your information from the pump. At least the old apartment officially released me from my lease and I'll be getting back more than what was stolen in the event working with my bank or whoever proves difficult. I just pray it doesn't consume my whole two weeks off.

Notice how late I'm up? Yeah, that's because I no longer work the morning shift. In fact, this girl is on sabbatical... I guess you can call it that... maybe more like semi-sabbatical. I'm only helping out on an as needed basis so I can recharge before semester 2. This is why I saved my money up before it was stolen: so I can relax!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

One box at a time

Trying to get my things unpacked and I just couldn't help myself...

Washing my hands

Got my apartment emptied yesterday! Yayyyy! So glad to have that off my plate! I also found out that I have been officially released from lease and my re-let is satisfied, meaning all I have to do is turn in the keys to hell. W00t!

It took us about a half a day. A asked me if I was sad that all of my stuff fits in a Dodge van.

...No, not really. My stuff is everywhere in his apartment, and I have more stuff in Birmingham! I talked to Mum yesterday. I'm going to splurge on a u-Haul and get some of my stuff from Birmingham and an entertainment center from Montgomery. A dresser and an entertainment center is our wagon-wheel coffee table. But it's worth the trip. :) A is being such a good sport. Yesterday was a hard day and I should do something special for him. Stress has made me an evil monster and I don't like that. He has been so wonderful and supportive of me, I need to make extra sure I'm showing him how much I appreciate him.

Pricing at u-haul doesn't make much sense. To pick up a truck in Montgomery and drop off in Tuscaloosa is $294, 151 miles, and 1 day of use. To pick up in Tuscaloosa and return to Tuscaloosa is $100, 400 miles, and 3 days of use. ....the obvious choice is the latter... but I honestly expected the former to be the cheaper.

I'm so relieved to have this stress off of my mind! I can't for the words! I don't have to deal with those crazy girls anymore! I'm too old for that kind of environment. The more we move forward with this decision, the more I become reassured that A and I made the right choice; whether we preferred this timing or not, it was the right choice.

Confession: It felt really good to take the shower curtain...yeah, that was probably my favorite part... Don't judge yet (Meme). It's my curtain, I bought it, it's re-usable, and I plan on putting it up in our bathroom! However, C came in as I was leaving and went in the bathroom. I heard her shut the door and then heard her sliding the curtain that was left back and forth. Mentally I could just hear her saying, "that bitch" and I couldn't help but giggle inside. She's lucky A was there to stop me from taking the rings that held up the curtains. Those are mine, too, I don't need them, and A got me to admit I'd only take those for spite...

I can see my grandmother reading this thanking God that A was there to keep me from being vengeful and laughing at the same time. So maybe I won't tell the story about how I was drinking a beer while tearing down the shelving unit (that's mine) that shelved all of their pots and pans.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Moving Days

The closer the summer comes to an end, the busier it seems to get. Yesterday was a patho test (90! W00t!), today is moving some of my things in with A. Major problem with moving is not knowing where to put all of our things. A has a lot of stuff...

My friends and I were talking the other day about starting a time capsule type deal. Journaling all of our nursing school experiences. When we're all done, we'll sit down together with several bottles of wine and read them out loud and eat tacos!

This summer has been hard, hard, hard. I've never physically felt stress like this before. I was telling A that I didn't understand this at all, considering I've dealt with much bigger monsters and much harder obstacles in the past. That being said, the last three months in Tuscaloosa have been.... different. I'm reluctant to use "depressing". That is far from the truth. But I guess the further I get away from April 27 and the more life goes one, the more I realize that dealing with the storm is much like a grieving process. It's just one of those things everyone deals with differently. I just happen to deal with stresses like that by putting more stress on myself. Makes it easier for me to pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on the horse again.

I guess when I think about it, the physical manifestations of the stress of this summer is probably on par or better than expected. Wish I could have had the 40 lbs weight loss again... Storm, 13 straight days of work, little time off before starting summer 1 nursing school, passing my nursing classes AND working at the same time, moving... It's been a busy summer and full of change!! with change comes beauty like a butterfly

Monday, July 11, 2011

Sometimes life tells you different

Patho exam today, I have to keep this brief!

Say a little prayer for me today and this week. Not only do I have a patho exam on two functional systems of the human body that don't really peak my interest, but I may have also found a person to sublease my apartment! This would fantastic! No more roommates!! No more bitches!

Where am I going, you ask?

Well... after much thought and consideration, A and I are going to live together. Hoorah! We didn't really want to take this step for awhile, considering it's before the two year mark for us to discuss the future. However, current living situations in hell have made us rethink and revisit our position on that. This is why they're bitches. That being said, I'm excited! I was pretty nervous at first about this idea. It's something I swore I would never do again. However, as we settle in, it's very natural. People keep saying, "Steph, it's been two weeks." To that I say, "Right. And before we made it 'official,' I was there all the time anyway. Now I'm just moving stuff out of the storage unit with roommates."

Now I get to have my awesome bed back!!! OK, enough excitement, I have to get back to the patho...

Friday, July 8, 2011

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Alls I gots to say....

...If you have this many instructions, maybe you shouldn't have made this an online class...


Module 3: Information Competency

UA

Overview

How is it that we know something—I mean really know it? This module focuses on knowing. Hopefully you will learn how to use computerized information to help you know better nursing practices.

Objectives

After this module, you will be able to:

  • Access health and nursing information from electronic sources, both wired and mobile.
  • Evaluate information found on the Internet.
  • Explore a myriad of ways to use information from small, mobile devices to improve patient safety and quality of care.
  • Describe the components and carry out the documentation of a Nurse Note.
  • Use Chief Complaints.
  • Carry out the documentation of Vital Signs and Physical Assessment.

Assignments

Perform the following tasks as instructed: (NOTE: Address any questions or concerns regarding this module to the HELP WANTED forum on the Discussion Board.)

The assignments should be created using Word or a compatible Word processor, and the format should include 1" margins and Times New Roman, 12-point font. You will be instructed when and how to save and upload each assignment.

Assignment 1: Surfing the Web (Individual Assignment 20 pts)

  1. Read chapters 11-13 in the course textbook, Thede & Sewell.
  2. View the audio PowerPoint lecture on Information Competency [19:05]. For your note-taking purposes, you may download the PowerPoint presentation or print version files.
  3. You learned in Module 2 how to search library databases to locate information. Now, you will search the Internet. Access the Internet.
    1. In the browser search engine, type “diabetes.” How many sites were generated?
    2. Now, revise the search to “diabetes AND adults.” How many sites were generated?
    3. Refine further to “diabetes AND adults NOT pharmacology.” How many sites were generated?
    4. From the results generated, locate one site that is available electronically and is not a journal article. Explore the site and evaluate it by answering the questions on the M3A1 handout, which was generated from Table 11-1, p. 192 of your textbook.
    5. Save your completed copy of the handout as “lastname_firstname_M3a1” and upload it as an attachment to the M3A1 drop box in the Assignments drop box.
  4. For the Module 3 Assessment, you will have 5 assessment questions that address the content in this assignment.

Assignment 2: Evidence for Practice (Individual Assignment 10 pts)

  1. Open the M3A2 handout to perform the following tasks:
    1. Select one of the web sites created for the purpose of promoting evidence-based practice during your Internet search in M3A1.
    2. Search that web site for information on diabetes.
    3. Identify three things that would be helpful in conducting patient teaching to a patient with diabetes.
    4. Using the levels of evidence on p. 211, which level of evidence is provided by this site?
    5. Summarize the information, the level of evidence and your rationale, and the source with the URL address linked.
  2. Save your report as "lastname_firstname_m3a2" and upload it as an attachment to the M3A2 link in the Assignments drop box.

Assignment 3: Mobile Devices

  1. Case: JT is a new admission on your assigned clinical unit. He is a 48-year-old, large-framed white male who has been newly diagnosed with diabetes mellitus. He is 6 feet tall and weighs 304 lbs. He has no other health problems. He is prescribed the medication Glipizide.
  2. Task: Locate the software on your iPod touch that gives you the information about diabetes mellitus, ideal body weights, conversions to kilograms, medications, and lab values. You will have questions on the Module 3 Assessment based on this scenario that can be answered from your iPod touch.

Assignment 4: Reference Management (Individual Assignment 10 pts)

You have searched the CINAHL database. Now that you have had a bit more practice, you will expand your searching capabilities to other databases.

  1. Thede and Sewell briefly describe the use of personal reference manager software. The University of Alabama has used EndNote in the past but currently uses and supports RefWorks. RefWorks is an online bibliographic database that allows users to collect and manage citations to use in personal research and in collaboration. Refworks helps you generate reference lists and format them according to APA format (or other formats if needed). RefWorks can be used to gain information about citing sources and creating bibliographies. To learn more, visit the following RefWorks links. You will be writing many papers during your student career at UA. Therefore, these tools can serve you well.
    1. RefWorks Tutorial
    2. RefWorks vendor's link
    3. RefWorks UA
    4. Create a RefWorks account for yourself. As you complete the next step of this assignment, save one article from 3 nursing databases to your RefWorks account.
    5. Create a screen shot of your work using the instructions for screen shots in Module 1. Save in a Word document.
    6. Following your screenshots (using the same Word document), save your RefWorks bibliography in APA format (include the name of the database used at the end of each citation) as "lastname_firstname_m3a4," and upload it as an attachment to theM3A4 link in the Assignments drop box.

Assignment 5: Nurse Note Documentation-Level 1 (Individual Assignment 10 pts)

  1. Read Chapter 4 in your Hamilton course textbook. For your notes you may download the PowerPoint presentation files. Hamilton Ch 4 PPT
  2. Note that the SpringCharts exercises within the Hamilton book build upon one another. To complete the SpringCharts exercise for credit in this module, you must have completed the Ch 3 exercises, even if they were not assigned for credit.
  3. Note that to submit this assignment electronically you need to know how to create .pdf files. If you have access to Adobe Acrobat or another .pdf writer select it rather than your printer and save the attachment to your NUR 309 folder. If you do not have access to those, follow the instructions in the preface of the Hamilton textbook: Submitting Assignments Electronically page xxvii. You will save and upload the assignment to the drop box rather than send it by e-mail.
  4. Throughout this learning module and in your pathophysiology course you have learned about diabetes. Now you will use SpringCharts to document findings on a diabetic patient in Exercise 4.1 in your Hamilton textbook titled "Diabetes". (You should have created this patient previously in Exercise 3.2).
  5. Once you have entered all the information in Exercise 4.1, go to File and then Print Chart, but select NO when it asks to print the entire chart. In the print partial chart menu select all the options and print. From there you will create a .pdf file, save it as "lastname_firstname_M3A5", and upload it as an attachment to the M3A5 drop box. Diabetes SpringChart Example
  6. Remember that assignments build upon each other, so complete ALL the exercises in the assigned chapters even if they are not for credit.

Assignment 6: Module 3 Assessment (50 pts)

  1. Access the Assessments link to complete the Module 3 Assessment.

Upon the completion of Module 3, proceed to Module 4.

Friday, June 24, 2011

I'd get married again just to not have a roommate

My Internet crapped out after the storm. It's not in my name so I told the roommate, J, who has the bill for the Internet. It became pulling teeth to find out if anything was getting done. Bottom line, because I don't feel like telling all the details, I asked her to get it fixed or just reimburse me my money since I'd paid her for the full summer. I was put off, given excuses, told she didn't have money since she lost her job from the storm, somebody had to do this, somebody had to do that... It was getting super tiresome and I'm too old for this shit.

So... when she posted on her facebook that she was going to the bars (after the cruise she took after she lost her job, after she claimed her sibling that doesn't live with her on her income taxes and after she told me she didn't have any money to pay reimburse me), A posted something about her and money and Internet and I don't know...

and then she started calling.... and calling... until I answered.

She was irrational and telling me what I needed to tell "my boyfriend" to do and to delete and I'm thinking... wtf... and tell her calm down and wtf? Then I lit into her. First about getting the damn Internet fixed and that this had gone on long enough. Second about whatever between her and A was staying between her and A because he is his own individual and is autonomous.

Then the best thing happened: she took me off of facebook so I couldn't even see what was said! Darn.

So I sent her this message:
Well I went to check and see what Adam had said to make you so angry and I see that you have unfriended me. To be perfectly honest I don't care. I know that I can't help you with this kind of behavior.

Creating this much drama over me telling you I couldn't connect to the Internet is just irrational and ridiculous. I find stuff like this insultingly juvenile and petty. The thing that I hate is that when I tried to talk to you like an adult, you had to get irrational they way you did. And not only on the phone this evening but even in the apartment when you asked me to stop sending you Facebook messages. This type of behavior is extremely immature. There is absolutely no reason for any drama to be brought into this issue. I honestly feel that you were looking for something to be upset with me over and the fact that I tried to be cooperative and courteous insulted you. That makes absolutely no sense. I wish I knew what I have done to make you so incredibly angry with me. I've always been open to making things right with people, especially if I've wronged them. You're an adult. I expected better out of you.

I am not expecting you to respond to this message, and honestly I don't want you to. I'm relieved that I won't have any financial ties to you in the apartment, as well, especially after the way you behaved with me on the phone and in the apartment. I'm relieved to not have to worry about unnecessary drama. I regret that the resolution of you giving me back my $29 didn't come sooner so that I could have made other arrangements for Internet connection. I hope one day you can look back and see how petty and stupid this argument is.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Progress

Sorry for the distance. I'm a little hesitant to park too close because I don't want to pick up any nails in my tires.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Everybody likes a debate!

Funny nursing school story:


We have to do these debates. School assignments like these are asking for it... If you can't tell, I'm a little opinionated. Maybe a little strong-headed... but just a little. Not much at all...nah. They divided us up in to groups and the first two groups delivered their debates yesterday. The rest of us were allowed to ask questions following and active participation was encouraged because these debates would be a part of our midterms and finals.


OK...


The first group presents the pros and cons of whether or not an alcoholic should be allowed a liver transplant. I take out my notebook, jot down the arguments as the list them, their reasonings and immediately on the side for allowing alcoholics to get a new liver, I see that they have a contradictory argument. So I form my question and wait patiently to ask it. When they conclude and open the floor, I raise my hand because I'm a good student like that and ask, "This question is for the pro side, you mentioned that most alcoholics who receive a new liver and commit to lifelong rehab and sobriety are said to be successful. The cons mentioned that 95% of alcoholics have at least one drink within the first year post surgery and your side also mentioned that alcoholism is a disease and stressed the importance of treatting that disease. Do you think that allowing an alcoholic to receive a liver is really treating the disease if 95% have a drink in the first year?"


Crickets and blank stares. I didn't think I was asking that hard of a question! But they couldn't answer it!


The next group comes to the front and presents the pro's and cons of increasing health insurance premiums for smokers and the obese. This should be good. Now granted, these are kids ten years younger than me so they have missed decades worth of news articles and debates I've already seen and heard on these subjects. Despite that, I forgot this myself and assumed to hear the same arguments when this issue came up in the early 2000s. I again pay attention, write down my thoughts and their points, form my question and tuck it aside and wait for my turn. This debate, I admit, got me more fired up than the prior. The side in favor of allowing insurance companies to raise premiums missed major points and had huge holes. Fortunately, I wasn't the only one with tough questions.


"You mentioned that insurance companies have a right to raise insurance premiums selectively because they are their own business. The United States constitution explicitely protects from discrimination such as this. By allowing these companies to selectively choose who has higher premiums, do you not find this unconstitutional? What about people who need the insurance to help them pay for medical problems with obesity as a side-effect? Or those on fixed-incomes who can't afford a healthier eating regime? Can you tell me how it is constitutional for an insurance company to pick and choose who is a higher risk?"


The group stood in silence with their mouths open, looked at each other for a second and then stared back at me. Finally, a one of the first girls to speak stuttered her original argument. So I asked again, "So you are saying that yes, it's constitutional for an insurance company to discriminate?"


"I don't understand those big words."


This is the future of America and somebody's future nurse --- not Mine!!


After the debates, I was flooded with people thanking me for not asking them a question and the rest of the nursing students asking me to be nice to them when it was time for their group to go...


Yup... leave it to me...

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Days go by

My drive in to work every day requires me to drive through damage from the storm. I believe I have mentioned this in a previous post. There is literally no route from my job that I can take without seeing devastation. I have to admit that it's kind of numbing to see it everyday and that seems to make everything a little bit more bearable, a bit like a seasoned doctor or nurse who sees blood everyday or sticks a needle in a vein. It's becoming normal.

I don't know if it's the stress from school, because upper division at the Capstone College of Nursing is intense, or if it's just part of the grieving process, but recently, seeing the same things I've seen everyday have stirred up some of the first identifiable emotions I've had from the storm; the shock, the heaviness in my stomach, the sadness. The sadness is always there, numb or not. But it's a rollercoaster ride and I guess right now, I'm going up a hill.

I realized today they are working on Rosedale. I don't know what words to describe because you can't tear down what's already torn down. It's more like, consolidating the piles of rubble.

Outside of Rosedale Court, April 28, 2011
It's no longer mounds of brick and wood in the now fenced in remains. It's larger mounds. They are starting to clean it up. And while I thought that it would maybe be a relief to see that debris finally disappear, I have to admit that it took my breath away.

I realized this morning that it's the change that's getting to me. It's so much change in so little time. I'm still having to learn the streets all over again because nothing is recognizable along many roads. As soon as I have begun to learn new landmarks, they change again.

This says so much to the hard-working men and women out in this 1o0 degree heat, every day, picking up the pieces of our lives and throwing them away as we all move on. The miracle that our spirits are still so high in Tuscaloosa bodes so well for our future and despite the stinging pain that finds it way up from time to time, it's going to be exciting to see what the future holds for this resilient town.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

In other news...

Life has gone on since the storm (and before considering my lack of writing!).

I used to be such a dedicated blogger... and now I just fail at all corners of this because of school but you should know that this had paid off! I started upper division nursing at the Capstone College of Nursing! Roll Tide!! If you thought I didn't write enough before....

So far, I've studied literally two solid weeks for a pathophysiology test ONLY to make an 80 on it. Only? Yes, "only"! The grading scale is Completely Different! How about an 80 is a C+... This is my first C in ANYTHING since I was in chemistry... I even got a tutor for the first time in my life. I'm going to be learning lessons not only in patho but in humility and realistic expectations.

What's really awesome is how much the school did for the community during the storm. Many of the nurses in the program hit the streets and helped the Red Cross and other blood donation sites, medical treatment sites, etc, with paperwork and triage along with other donation sites and hard labor work. I can't say Roll Tide enough to all of the hard workers and volunteers who have worked non-stop since the storm that have made such a remarkable change in our town!!

The nursing building is now located in a new building on the UA campus that is completely state-of-the-art. I'm exhausted but that doesn't begin to smother my excitement to be there! The second floor is just a mini-hospital for us to get hands on training! And we have little red scrubs with little crimson and white patches with the UA logo on it. Confession: I put them on as soon as they came in and...well...they're unisex... and unisex pants apparently don't forgive women's hips... so no carbs for me!!!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Part 3

I was going to post photos from my walk through Rosedale the after the storm. But this video does it so much better...

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Part 2

So many people think "Where were you during the storm?" and I don't think that can summarize the full story in Tuscaloosa. There is so much more to people's stories besides where they were. In fact, the more remarkable stories are after the storm hit.

I'm sure everyone by now has seen at least one YouTube video of the Tuscaloosa Tornado. For some reason there were tons of idiots out there joyfully chasing this monster as it journeyed and ate a fourth of Tuscaloosa. To put it in perspective why I despise the videos of guys "whoo-hooing" in the videos, 2300 homes were leveled in Tuscaloosa from this. That number doesn't include the number of damaged homes, the number or leveled business, or the number of damaged businesses. Think about that the next time you watch the video. This storm destroyed so much of what is Tuscaloosa, it's hard to conceive how far reaching the devastation actually is unless you see it in person.

That being said, I still find it sad so many people come just to sight-see. We are not a place for that. Tuscaloosa is a place of so much more than the devastation you see on the news.

On the day after the storm, I was number. My car wouldn't go into gear and I borrowed A's car so I could get to work. It ended up being a good thing that I did because debris was everywhere. I find it important to define "debris" at this time. Most of the time, that word makes a person think about tree limbs down or even fallen trees, maybe some trash strewn about in yards, or even the house on the corner that lost a gutter. That's not the debris I'm talking about.

Tuscaloosa looked like a post-Apocalyptic war zone.

I was on the phone with my mother driving south on 359. I passed the 15th Street exit knowing that a out of my line of site was an area completely devastated. I knew the business were blown away, I knew the houses were gone. I knew cars were upside down in the streets. I knew that from the Guthrie's parking lot, you could see clear across to the Home Depot on the other side of Forrest Lake. In my mind's eye, I knew the area had a whole knew landscape. But I wasn't prepared for the devastation the tornado caused before it reached that area.

It was 6 am and the sun was just starting to rise over Tuscaloosa. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Pink fluffy material started to appear on the roads. The it was the larger pieces of metal. Yeesh! Debris got thrown here, too! After 359 ascended into an actual freeway, the landscape around me drastically changed. Only half of every tree was left standing, more of the pink fluffy material that insulates a house lined the roads. Fortunately, nothing large was in the road blocking the drive to work. I looked to to the right and noticed damage to buildings. I looked to my left and saw much worse.

A large metal tower was bent and twisted along the side of the road, not broken from its wide base but creased at the four posts that made the bottom. Cars were in ditches, upside down, on their sides, flattened and most with red "X's" spray-painted on the doors. The grass the remained looked like it had be freshly vacuumed from where it had been pulled from the earth. The church that identified my exit was missing one wall. A portion of the brick on one side was missing. I was the only vehicle on the road at the time and began to slow in anticipation of debris in the road. I drove underneath the first overpass holding my breath. To the right, tall mounds of wood and metal were left in place of the warehouses that marked my exit. To my left, a very large metal cylinder had rolled down the hillside, stopping just before the exit. The fence that lined the highway was gone. The posts of the buildings I had never paid attention before were all that were left of the businesses on Greensboro. Large metal boxes were lining the hillside of my exit. My exit? This is Kaloosa? Strips of metal were everywhere. Steel beams were bent in half and dug into the ground. I had never seen anything like this.

The eeriest part of seeing a disaster area is what you don't see anymore. There were no trees. there were no light posts. The traffic lights were missing. The area looked developed and completely undeveloped at the same time.

At this time, the death toll had not been announced. I knew without a doubt there was no way anyone could have survived in the relatively small amount of devastation I had seen so far.

I turned left off of the highway and back over the Interstate toward work. The car dealership to my left was missing windows and most of the cars were missing windows and were dented. I felt the sting of how expensive just that damage was going to be. It was a new BMW dealer. In the scheme of things, though, it was lucky. The business itself was missing one wall and a few panes of glass. It could reopen as soon as the roads were open for the repairs to be made.

The intersection ahead of me was out and the police were blocking the road. You could only turn right. To go straight ahead you would have to travel on foot and to go left would definitely require an ATV if you didn't want to walk. The entrance to my work is a right turn ahead of it. I hadn't realized the area was so hard hit.

There is a small neighborhood that you have to drive through to get to the station. It's a short road with a speed table and three stop signs. Small, inexpensive and old houses line the drive with tall trees giving shadow from the sun. On this day, after the first stop sign, I was grateful I was not in my small car. I wouldn't have been able to make it.

Trees lined the streets. Large limbs were in the middle of the road. I couldn't see the houses from the oaks that had fallen over. God, I hope no one was hurt. I slowed the vehicle to a creep and carefully maneuvered around the limbs. I made it to the second stop sign where on both sides of me large trees were blocking the rest of the neighborhood in. I steered around on last limb and had made it through. I could see the station now and it was just fine.

Looking back on this day is hard. I can't remember a lot. It's still a blur. I am not sure I can even write a timeline for the 28th the same way I can the 27th. I got in the building and started to work but I can't remember what work I did at first. JT came in after I did, followed by Todd and I can't remember who after that. This is where I really regret not journaling all of this as it occurred.

I'll just have to start this part of the story like this: We went on air at 8 am. We didn't go off air that day until 10 pm. At work, we had already sent emails back and forth to let each of us know that we were alive and safe. JT, Deelo, and Kyle had been at the station in the storm hit. That's how Deelo managed to shoot this video:


After the storm hit and the generator started working at the station, the story kind of goes like this: The guys just started talking about what had just happened. There were no phones or television for anyone to know what was going on. Few people had Internet access. Once the generator was supplying juice to get the phones powered, the guys apparently worked off of text messages from people able to give them information on the scope of things.

Then the phone calls started to come in. That's when everything changed.

"Hey, I'm in here and I need this and I don't know who to call."
"What we can do is pass that information along and find out for you."
That turned into, "Hey, my name is Fred and I have a chainsaw. If you need help, call or text 555-5555 and I'll come help you."
That then turned into people calling in with, "We need a home," and those calls were answered with, "We have a spare room."

In what is being heralded as one of the worst natural disasters in American history, my town came together. When we started the broadcast on Thursday, the phone calls continued.

"We have food."
"We need food."
"We need water."
"We have water."
"We have a donation drop off site."
"We're coming from North Carolina with an 18-wheeler."

The calls didn't stop. We were flooded. We were flooded with information to direct and we did it. I don't want to sound boastful about what we did. I don't want my back scratched or patted or to be awarded for my small stations efforts. We did what was natural to us and what was coming naturally to our town already; community. We would spend the next 17 days on the air broadcasting news, information, donation sites, needs, stories, heart breaks, reunions, good news, bad news, even our own personal stories. If there was a rumor in town, we would already have it debunked and have the facts ready to prove it.

And the rumors were tremendous. But I'll get to that at another time.

Thursday was such a confusing day for me. I had so many places I needed to be, so many things I needed to do. I had a test from Wednesday night that had been cancelled. When would it be made up? I was leaving for a trip the next morning, on business with A for his work. When would I be able to get home to pack...when would I be able to get home? Fortunately, I had a load of clothes at his apartment already. The wonderful man that he is washed and packed what I did have in one of his bags so I could have something to take on our trip.

It was getting to be later in the morning and around1030 am when we started to have a steady flow of phone calls, I told JT I needed to try to get to my apartment. I still didn't know if it was there, I didn't know the status of my roommates, and I didn't know if I would be able to get my things. I jumped in to A's car knowing that this would have to be a quick trip despite the obscene amount of traffic. A quick glance to 359 from the building showed it was literally a parking lot. Cars were lined up to view the devastation. smh...people need to quit. This site-seeing proved to be one of my biggest pet peeves of this entire ordeal.

I knew I wouldn't be able to get to campus from 259. It was literally not moving. My only other option was to turn right out of the small neighborhood and head in the direction of the devastation. I would have to make a huge detour, though, one that would take me straight up around all of the hardest hit areas. I had no idea how I would be able to get to where I was going without jumping on 359. The police were at every intersection and the state troopers were parked at every exit. This was going to be a nightmare.

I decided to continue my plane towards the devastation. I detoured down Greensboro to McFarland. All of the traffic lights in town were out and it was frustrating to get through each one when people didn't treat them as a four way stop. Especially at McFarland. Finally, someone let me take my turn and I was able to head toward campus on McFarland Blvd. The traffic was slow but moving and I knew I wouldn't be able to make it all the way up. I detoured again through some newly built apartments to the Target. When I got to the next traffic light, I was halted by more devastation and police officers. At the Home Depot, I looked to my left and there was nothing. My bank was even damaged. Well, there go my funds for the beach... They wouldn't reopen for four more days. It's a credit union and both locations were halted. I wouldn't be able to do anything electronically until I had Internet and they were open again. I looked in my wallet and saw a $5 bill. I felt pretty helpless with that knowledge.

The police at the light wouldn't let me turn left. The area behind him was 15th and McFarland, now known as Ground Zero around here. There was nothing there and building debris everywhere. It was the closest I had been since it hit not 17 hours earlier. Another cop was positioned directly in front of me. Behind him were homes that were completely destroyed. It was a neighborhood I had driven through a million times and now it was rubble. I would have to go right again.

I made it to the next traffic light and decided I would have to ask a policeman to let me through so I could get to Jack Warner. If I could get to Jack Warner, I could get to campus. If I could get to campus, I could get home. I told the officer at the next light where I lived and that I was trying to find out if I had a home. He was nice and let me through. Carefully, I drove down the road through heavy, heavy debris. The traffic was crawling and a lot of people were walking around. Trees were on rooftops and cars were missing windows. The landscape collectively was barely recognizable. The houses didn't look the same. I felt heartbreak looking at the homes I had wished I could buy to fix up and make my own one day. I was slowly making my way into Alberta, and area I had no idea how hard had been hit at the time.

I came to another road block and as I waited my turn, I looked to my left and saw a bent street sign. I read the street and started to recognize where I was. I followed the street sign to find a sign of a curb and realized I was driving in an area directly hit by the tornado. I was behind a shopping center that housed my old gym, the Hobby Lobby, Big Lots, Chuck E. Cheese... all of that was gone and I was like driving on pieces of the building. Holy shit... I had no clue that I was where I was. Nothing looked the same. As I began to look harder at the scene, I realized the people walking around weren't just helping other people. Many of the people were walking toward me in as much of the street as possible with suit cases. I wonder now where these people were going because they were walking miles to the nearest shelter if they were headed to the Belk Center. It didn't dawn on me at the time that these people probably didn't have a destination. I was too busy realizing they were carrying in these suitcases all they had left from their home.

I finally reached the cop and told him what the police officer had told me to tell him to get through the block.

"No, ma'am, you can't go through here."

"But I'm just trying to get home and get my things. It's my home. I just want to get to Jack Warner."

"Not this way you're not."

"But I live here. How do I get home?"

"I don't care. You can't go home."

"Just, please, tell me how I can get to Jack Warner, please," I was desperate. "Can you at least tell me if it's still standing?"

"You can't go home." He pointed for me to turn around and another police officer walked up. I gave up and turned around. I knew there had to be a way for me to get to Jack Warner.

I headed back to the main road and tried another road to Jack Warner. This one was covered with trees. I followed a car through the neighborhood hoping it was going to lead me to the other side. When I got to another police officer, I explained what I was trying to do again.

"Ma'am, I don't think you're going to be able to get home. We're not even letting the folks who live here through."

"I understand that but can you tell me how I can get to Jack Warner from here? If I can get there, I think I should be able to get home."

"Well..." he thought for a minute. "Alberta is all gone and you won't be able to get to Kicker. You're going to have to turn around and go to 359."

Groan..."It's pretty bad over there, too. The traffic isn't moving. Do you know about the toll bridge?"

"No, I don't but even if you did get to Jack Warner, I am not sure it doesn't have road blocks on it, too."

I tried five more road blocks, some officers as friendly as the second one, many as tired and mean as the first one. I was tired and just wanted out of the car. I gave up. I couldn't get home.

I headed back to the station worried about my apartment. I didn't even know where to begin to start to park and walk and find out much less get my things. When I finally made it back to the exit to the station, a state trooper was parked blocking the entrance. He wouldn't let me through. I pointed to him where I was going and he wouldn't budge. I showed him the email and my badging that showed he had to let me through the road block and he still didn't let me through. Instead, he made me drive back up 359, on to 15th Street, down Greensboro, through a second road block, show my badging again, drive through Rosedale and then to the station.

It took two hours to do that. It took less time to make it through 7 roadblocks to find out I was displaced than it did for me to get back to the station. Tuscaloosa was a traffic disaster. Everyone was site seeing. And I can understand despite how frustrating it was. Your jaw dropped at the devastation.

I got back to the station, let them know I was back and decided to walk to Rosedale and take photos for the website. It was on my to-do list for the day. Taking pictures was not something I wanted for my own personal memoirs. It was a twenty minute walk to the area.

I have more to write about my walk to the area and seeing the immediate needs, the immediate devastation, and the cleaning-up already started. However, I don't want to write all of this in one sitting. Thursday was an emotionally draining day for me. As I'm trying to write this and recall everything, I get exhausted remembering the emotions of the days. It stung to hear "you can't go home," over and over again. It still stings to remember the uncertainty of having a home, deciding on what to do about a planned trip when you're already displaced I mean, where else would I have gone? I was very torn that day on whether to stay in Tuscaloosa because I felt so compelled to fix what had happened but I wanted to go on this trip, whether I had my things or not, so I wouldn't have to see this disaster another second. While I think it's important for me to write down everything I can now before I forget and to tell my story, I think it's more important for me to remember all I can not just so that twenty years from now I can show my kids history, but for therapy. I also think it's important to keep this from being boring and exhausting to read in one sitting!

Walking through Rosedale was a medley of emotions that I still haven't defined. For that matter, Part 3 will be about the experience and I will include the photos I took. For me walking through Rosedale was walking into another world.

...tbc

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Part 1

I'm alive.

Who knew I'd ever have an experience in my life where I needed to let people know I was alive?

During the early morning hours of April 27, 2011, I was sleeping hard in my bed while the rain came down. I was woken up only a few short minutes before my alarm went off at 5 am by a loud clap of thunder.

It was dark. It made a chill run down my back.

I jumped out of the bed and simultaneously, the sirens were going off in Tuscaloosa. I reached for my phone and called work. I had to be there. We had been broadcasting on air for days that large super cell storms were expected on Wednesday afternoon. We knew a small front was coming through in the morning but it was expected to be bad. It was the afternoon that concerned the weathermen.

I flipped on the TV and called JT. He was already at the station and told me to stay put. I could come in when the winds calmed down. I pulled on my clothes, brushed my teeth, and was ready for work. I had my school books ready to go. I had a lab final for anatomy at 5 pm. These storms were already a nuisance. I was more worried about whether or not I would be able to take my final and how much more time I had left to study for it.

By 5:30 am, I was able to walk out the door and head to work. Immediately, I was put to task updating weather, updating websites, following the radar, what had JP Dice just said? All seemed to calm down by 8:00 am.

In Alabama during the spring, weather like this always happens. You pray for the best and never expect the worse. Certainly, these weather men are overhyping the afternoon line of storms.

I headed to my 9 am and 10 am classes in the light rain as scheduled. Weather statements had been texted to my phone from UA to be aware of strong storms. I had wished they had cancelled my classes so I could get two extra hours of study in. At 11 am, I went to Gorgas Library on the campus of the University of Alabama. For those unaware of the layout, I was about a half a mile from 15th Street. I spent the rest of the day there prepping for my lab final. I didn't really care about my test, I just needed to pass it. I had already gotten my acceptance letter to the Capstone College of Nursing on the 16th and had an A in the course. I just wanted to keep my A for my GPA.

I was with some classmates in a study room and around 1 pm, we decided we wanted to watch James Spann and have a laugh while we studied. We took a big flat screen television and plugged it up to a macbook. From the macbook, we played the 33/40 ustream. James Spann was already calling out towns, already had the suspenders showing.

On the ustream, there was a chat and C decided he wanted to "play" with some of the people in the chatroom. With all of the fuss on the weather, it was nearly impossible for us to truly focus on identifying reproductive organs on cats, tissue samples, and physiological processes. We were having too much fun watching the television. We were having too much fun debunking this one girl in the chatroom who was saying it was so dark in Tuscaloosa and how scary it looked outside when the sun was out. We typed in "The sun is out. We are on campus. No dark clouds in the sky."

Immediately, responses flowed in to us: "Not the sun!" "The sun is so bad!" "I hope that sun goes away!"

Perplexed we asked why this was so bad. I had no clue. I'm almost 30 and have been through so many storms before, never had I heard the sun is bad.

"The sun heats up the atmosphere and will make the storm stronger."

About this time, I can't remember the exact time on my watch, James Spann started calling out highways in Cullman. I have family in Cullman. My brother. My sister. My nephews. Where are they?

The camera showed this massive storm eating buildings in Cullman. I immediately sent out text messages. "Where are you?" "Are you in a safe place?" All of them were unanswered and time started to slow down.

"C, my family lives there. I can't joke anymore. They're calling out streets where they work and live," I nervously told him. The rest of our friends fell silent, awkwardly giggling to kill the tension every so often. I picked up my phone again and thought long and hard. Finally, I dialed my grandmother's number.

"Meme? Are you watching the TV?"

"No, you're Paw and I are playing on the computer." For the first time in my life, my grandmother was not watching severe weather. That's why she hadn't called yet!

"Well, I don't want to panic you, but a big tornado just ripped through Cullman. It was in downtown. I tried calling Steve, Sonya, and Mary but they aren't answering. If you hear from them, let me know."

"Oh really? I had no idea. Buddy! Turn on the TV, there's weather!" Watching James Spann in the south is like... the President interrupting Flipper. A necessary nuisance. "Where are you? Are ya'll getting weather yet?"

"No, ma'am. The sun is out here. But these storms are supposed to just pop up, so..." I trailed off. No one wants to panic their grandparents, "Well we just don't know what to expect today. I was watching that storm on the TV at the library. We're studying for our final. I'm hoping this weather doesn't postpone my final. We have a beach trip to go on Friday! I can't make up an exam then!"

"Well, you'll do your best I know. Steve is in Decatur today but I'll try to call Mary and Sonya," this brought relief to me even though my sister and sister-in-law and nephews were still quiet in Cullman.

I hung up the phone and we went back to watching. I plugged my phone up to make sure I kept charge. If we did lose power, I knew I'd need as much life as possible until the power company got things working again.

At 3:45 pm, the tornado sirens went off again. The siren is actually on the side of Gorgas Library and it pierced my ears. Well, we're done for the day. We unplugged the computer, packed up, and headed down. On campus the procedure is to move to the lowest level of the building during a warning. All classes are suspended until the warning is over. As we gathered our bags, we jokingly laughed about how this is going to be such a close call on our final. T was in tears that yet another exam would be postponed due to weather. She had worked so hard this semester.

T was nervous about the storms. More than she let on. She had never been in a tornado before. She had no idea what to expect and was apprehensive when I tried to tell her she had nothing to worry about.

We moved to the first floor of Gorgas. The library is a huge, well built building. It's 9 floors total of cement, brick, and books. The first floor is a misleading name because it's not the lowest level of the building. When we came down the stairs to the cafe, we entered to a large crowd of people gathered around another large screen TV with James Spann. The camera this time showed a wall cloud.

My phone started buzzing. My sister Candice wanted to know if I was in a safe place. I have a bad habit of going outside during tornadoes. This sick obsession with physically seeing them and wanting to study them with my eyes. I sent her a message, "I'm on campus. I'm safe." I wasn't worried about me at this point, I was still trying to find my family in Cullman. If truly went to the lowest level of the building, I wouldn't have a signal.

I called Mary again and this time she answered. "Mary where are you?"

She had been asleep when the storm hit. The TV said the hospital in Cullman had been hit, where Mary works. He newborn son was in a house next door to the hospital. OhmiGod my nephew! "Mary have you talked to David?"

"I didn't even know a storm had hit!"

"Well, it hit the hospital. I can't get in touch with Sonya, either. Where's Logan?"

"At my mom's. They have a storm shelter," she sounded like she was holding her breath. "I'll call you back."

The sirens were going off again. It was 4:15. This time it wasn't the tornado sirens but the building sirens. The whining sound was mixed with a voice that read off the weather warnings and what to do.

My phone buzzed again. Here we go. It was my mother. Mum was wanting to know where I was, if I was safe. She turned on James Spann.

I cussed that she was watching. I looked at the TV again and James Spann was saying the tornado was developing west of Tuscaloosa. Piss. Mum is watching this. I typed in my phone my default answer. "Mum, I'm safe. I'm on campus at the library." She responded: Don't go outside! I laughed and showed my friends. "Don't worry. They won't let us go outside." I lied.

I had already been outside to talk to Mary. There was so much commotion. It was loud and hard to hear on the phone. I walked outside again to call my mother. It was a ghost town.

Wind was blowing lose sheets of paper around. Several people were standing under the awning smoking cigarettes nervously. I can't stand the smell of cigarettes. A UAPD car slowly drove past with a bullhorn warning people to get inside. Occasionally, he would blip his sirens to make sure he had our attention. Another chill ran down my spine.

"Mum, hey, I'm safe."

"Where are you, sis? Are you inside?"

"Yeah, I'm safe. I'm at the library. I need this to pass so I can take my exam. I don't want to miss my beach trip if I have to take it Friday."

I chatted with Mum for a minute to calm her worry and headed back in. I stood in the front of the crowd and looked up at the TV in the cafe. We all watched chaotically moving about.

My phone kept buzzing the entire time. I sat down against the wall and plugged my phone up again. My dad called to check on me. This raised a little worry in me because he usually calls after a storm, never before one hits.

At 4:45 pm, the warnings were extended. Double piss. I got what seemed like my 100th message of the last half hour. I looked down and again it was Candice. "You're not outside are you? This thing is huge!"

Huh? "No. I'm inside. I'm in Gorgas." The next series of texts came in so quickly, I couldn't respond fast enough. Mum, Candice, Mum, Candice, Mum, Candice, Sonya - Sonya! She was safe, thank God! I was so relieved to hear from my family in Cullman. I stood up to tell my friends. I turned around to see the television, my phone vibrating non-stop in my hands. A massive tornado was headed to Tuscaloosa.

"Steph, I'm scared for you!"
"Put a book over your head!"
"Where are you?"
"Are you there?"
"DO NOT GO OUTSIDE!"

During all of this chaos, I had been trying to contact A. He had to drive to work that afternoon. I was more worried about him driving in this weather than me being in this weather. I begged him to turn on the ustream feed. To my relief, work had given him the night off. He wouldn't have to drive to Montgomery. After I had seen this storm on the television, I was more worried for him than campus. To me, where I was was invincible.

"Go downstairs and tell Jessie to let you in!" I told him.

He answered, "I'm fine. It's not dark here, babe!"

"I know but it wasn't dark here either! There is a huge tornado in Tuscaloosa headed straight for you!! Get in the bathroom or something!!"

Time continued to slow to a halt.

The sirens went off again. Inside the library, everyone stared at each other a second. It was quiet and all you could hear was James Spann.

"If you know anyone at the University of Alabama, call them immediately and tell them to get to a safe place! This is a huge storm, headed towards the campus." Spann proceeded to name buildings on campus. Mentally, I pleaded with him to stop before he called out Gorgas. "...Gorgas Library..."

Bloody hell, thanks Spann! Immediately my phone, my mum, my sister:

"Are you in the lowest level?"
"Are you inside?"
"Where are you?"
"Sis, get against a wall!"
"It's so big! I'm watching this on the television! He said it's headed straight for you!"

I sent my sister a message, "I wonder if I'll have a car after this."

She responded, "I don't care about your car. I care about your safety right now!"

At a little after 5:00 pm, The power went out. It flickered back on while the cable failed to come back on.

I was so busy trying to respond to the messages that I almost missed the faculty ushering us to the lower level of Gorgas library and it's stairwells. I looked at C. He wasn't saying anything. I looked at T. She was following the flow. I picked up my bag and followed suit. I was hoping T wouldn't be to scared of the storm. I felt like I had lied to her when I told her she had nothing to worry about.

We lined up and filed ourselves down the flight of stairs to the damp basement of the library. It is filled with shelves and shelves of metal bookcases and desks. Mum would hate to know this is my safe place. I grabbed T and C and had them follow me to a spot along the wall of the stairwell, by a plug and around the least amount of metal. I should never in my life have to think about whether or not I'm in the safest place possible. I plugged my phone back up. I was still getting text messages. Candice was panicked when I didn't respond fast enough. Mum was worried I wasn't safe enough. Why did they have to see this on the television?

I looked at C and T and realized neither of them had been in a storm that made us go to this extreme before. I explained to them this was no big deal and what I'd grown up having to do. I tried to rest their worries with stories of gradeschool and having to sit in the hallways for hours waiting out storms. Of course, these were the days before modern technology told us there was a tornado outside of our window. Shortly after we were settled, a faculty member peaked his head out of the stairwell entrance so all of us could here. Students were lined all along the walls, sitting on the metal desks, propped up against the bookshelves, and camping out next to each other in the stairwell.

"OK, if the power goes out, we need you guys to just relax, stay quiet, and stay put. We'll come guide you out with a flashlight. If are to take a direct hit, we need all of you to stay away from the bookshelves and get as close to the wall and stairwell as you can. Find something to cover your head with, too." I couldn't see this person from where I was, but I was glad it was a calm voice giving directions. About 100 of us were in the lower level and I was more worried about panicked students trampling me than a tornado. Unfortunately, his voice wasn't calm enough.

I was still getting text messages. The power went out again and stayed that way.

"Candice, I'm being told what to do, hang on."
"Steph, I'm so scared for you!"
Mum, "Where are you?"
Me, "A! Are you watching? I can't tell you where it is anymore!"
Me, "Candice, here's A's number, tell him to stop watching Friday Night Lights and get safe! I have to start saving battery. I'll text you in a bit!"
Me, "Mum, I have to save my battery."
Mum, "I love you, Sis."

When I got that last text from my mother, I knew this was serious.

At approximately 5:13 pm, The lights went out again and the building shook lightly. Not a bad vibration. It felt like a loud thunder was shaking the earth. And it last longer than thunder should.

Then it was over.

After a few minutes, the calm voice spoke from the stairwell again, "OK, guys, it's passed us we think. We need you guys to stay here for at least ten minutes and then another one is coming. You can stay here for now or go home or seek shelter elsewhere."

My phone started buzzing...again. I was irritated with the phone and I wanted to turn it off.

"Where are you!" My sister was frantic in text.

All of this time happened simultaneously and chaotically. The only clear worry I remember is my car.

"I'm safe. No power. I need to conserve battery so spread the word for me. I don't know if I have a car."

Mum sent me another message. "I'll give your phone a rest now."

"OK, I'm safe. They are keeping us at the library for now. I'll text you when I find a source to charge my phone. Has anyone gotten in touch with A? I gave Candice his number. Please make sure he's safe!"

Before I knew it, I could go upstairs and I really had to use the bathroom! I used the flashlight on my phone to make my way up and walked into a sea of more students on the first floor that had waited out the storm. Many people were on the phone. The impact of the tornado hadn't hit me yet.

My phone buzzed again. It was my aunt. She rarely texts me much less calls. This time she was calling. "Are you safe?"

"Yeah, I'm at the library. I don't know if I have a car, though."

"I can't get Jake." Jake is my cousin who moved here a year and a half ago. He lives near campus and was supposed to be at home when it hit.

"I've been doing a lot of texting. I hear people can't make phonecalls. In fact, I don't know how you got me-" I had tried to call my dad and let him know I was safe but the calls wouldn't go through. I chatted with my aunt a second and asked her to call my dad and grandparents for me and let them know I was safe. To be perfectly honest, this conversation is so foggy. As I was on the phone with her, I had walked outside and around the building to the quad. Trees were everywhere.

When I hung up the phone and walked back in, my phone was already low on juice. I don't even know what time it was anymore. Some of my friends were leaving the library. T had my backpack and I was perplexed at what was going on.

"They're closing the library."

"What?"

"Yeah, we're headed to Ridgecrest!" My sister had sent me more messages about more weather coming through and how we needed to stay put. I was confused.

"Well, we have about an hour until the next line comes through. Can we walk to my car and see if it's still there?" C, T, and I hiked across campus to my car to find out how it was. No busses were running. The wind was eerie and the air was still. Without seeing any devastation, I knew I was in a disaster zone.

While we were still in the library, I had gotten word of all the buildings that had been hit, the massive devastation. All the three of us could think of to do was get to another place of shelter. We loaded T's car and got to the dorms. Then it dawned on me, do I have an apartment??

Immediately I started to field the facebook, using more juice on my phone. We hiked up four flights of stairs and while I watched pictures of devastation pop up on my feed. Twitter was the same. Photos of crumpled buildings were popping up everywhere.

Somehow, UA still had Internet access. T, C, one of C's roommates, and I each took our turns charging our phones on laptop and updating our Facebook and Twitter statuses to let friends and family know where we were and that we were safe. We collectively let out a sigh of relief when we learned that another storm was not headed our way. I was thinking of staying the night at the dorm. My phone was so low I didn't know how I'd get up for work the next day, I didn't know how to contact A and let him know. The laptops would run out of juice soon.

D, C's roommate, started getting videos of the devastation. Then I started to recognize the crumpled buildings I'd already seen in the photos.

Speechless I watched the video as the camera panned the scene. On 15th St, the paneling of McDonald's in the middle of the road, a car was flipped over, power cords were strewn about. Hokaido was leveled, Smoothie King gone. We were hearing that Hobby Lobby, Milo's, Krispy Kreme, Chuck E. Cheese were all gone. Then our friends started posting and texting. Their houses were gone, their dogs were missing, their friends were missing, their lives were in shambles.

As I look back on that afternoon, I realize now that even that night I had no clue how far reaching the devastation was. I had no concept of how close this storm came to wrecking my life.

I finally got one word back from my roommates that they were safe and were leaving the apartment. But I still didn't know if I had one. As dusk began to fall over the city, five of us piled up in C's car to get my to mine. We headed down the road to see if I had an apt. All I could see was it's shadow and that was good enough. I turned my little car around and headed across the bridge.

I was completely stunned and thoughtless. My phone was dead. The complete silence was welcome. I got to A's apartment and he was waiting for me with open arms. I didn't even know then that I needed to cry. I fixed a glass of wine and plugged up my phone. We sat in silence together in front of the television for, what felt like to me, an eternity.

What just happened? The videos of the storm started to pop up. The monster in action. I was the YouTube clips and wanted to throw up. This storm was so close to taking my job, my school, my home, my life. Why didn't it? We went to bed and I had dreams of being chased by tornadoes. I woke up and started into work for my 6 am start time as usual. The sun was just starting to rise over the city. I had no idea what to expect.

I called Mum on the way in to touch base. I told her how I'd spent my night and that I didn't know if I had an apartment yet. That was notched on my "to-do" list for the day. Get stuff for the beach. "Mum, I hear it's bad. I've seen some video. We got leveled!"

"I'm so glad you're OK."

While I was on the phone with her, I got closer to work and began to see for myself some of the devastation. Cars were crushed and upside down on the highway. Towers were crumpled on hillsides. Buildings had been reduced to pillars. Then I realized, I was at my exit, but I couldn't recognize it.

"Oh my God, Mum! It's all gone!!"

"What, Sis?"

"This city! It's all gone!!" I sat on my phone in the parking lot of the radio station for a minute and we weeped together. It was the closest I was going to be able to get to her for four more days.

When we hung up, I dried my eyes and walked into the Round Building. We call it that not because it's titled that, but, well... it's round and wooden and old and faithful. I walked in the door and started an experience that has changed me and my perception of what happened in Tuscaloosa.

When I started work on April 28, 2011, I had no idea that what I was about to be apart of was going to be the best experience of my life.

....tbc

Monday, March 21, 2011

165 days

Today is the start of spring practice for the Bama boys.

I would like to take a moment to thank safety Mark Barron for taking the spotlight off the start practice and putting it on his weekend arrest because he thought defending his cousin's hit and run accident in Mobile was a smart thing to do. Family blood is not stronger when you have a full scholarship starting your future.

Really looking forward to A-day this year! I hope I get the nephews so I show them what Aunt Stephie loves so much!

Roll Tide!

I'm not percolating

As you may already know, I'm Methodist and it's Lent. This means I had to give up something. Something that's a sacrifice. None of this giving up Lent for Lent stuff! So I gave up....coffee! *Dum-Dum-DUMMMMMMMM!!!!*

I know... shocker.... Mum said, "You really went with the sacrifice this year!"

Just to be clear, I gave up coffee, not caffiene, or else I would be leading the assualt for the UN in Libya right now and probably be dead. Today is marking the start of the second full week and two things were not what I expected them to be:
1. I didn't take into account that daylight saving time began the first Sunday after Lent. Fail.
2. I thought hot tea would be supplement enough. Not really.

I drive past a Starbucks now and drool like a rabid dog.

In other news, so far I have saved approximately $130.... #winning

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Winter Wonderhell

I live in the south and have for all of my life. I never thought I'd say this.

I'm sick of the snow.

We have had, I'm not sure, three or four "storms" this year? In all honesty, today is the first time I've seen more than half an inch on the ground and have seen the state of Alabama still function fully! Schools are either in session or delayed, banks are opened, grocery stores weren't packed. Are the residents of Alabama finally getting the idea that roads can be driven on when snow is on the ground? Or is this just a fluke incident?

I was so excited for snow on Christmas. It was my first white Christmas in my life. I'd never seen one before then. I got to spend it with A and my families and all was right in the world.

Then the next "storm" came and I got stuck inside for three days... cabin fever.

Then the next "storm" came through, unexpectedly, after I'd been awake for approximately 72 hours, given a thirty minute and a three hour nap in between, studying for an anatomy exam hence the reason I've not been writing. Sad face. When the weather started to move onto campus, then campus officials thought it was prudent to close down for the day, at 3:30, when I'd just sat down to take the exam. Needless to say, my sleeplessness was in vain and the test was rescheduled on what was, fortunately, a much prettier, sunnier day.

Today is different. There are snowmen on rooftops, sled marks in the grass, people walking around outside without fifteen layers of clothing. I think people around here are actually getting it: snow isn't that bad.

And I mean that in the strangest sense. While I'm irritated with the educational delays this wintry weather has caused me and the oncoming stress that I will endure to catch up - driving back from work today, I do believe the snow on the naked trees and grass was maybe one of the most beautiful sites I've ever seen in my life.