Progress

Sorry for the distance. I'm a little hesitant to park too close because I don't want to pick up any nails in my tires.

Progress

Made a few stops before I went home to Birmingham today.

Days go by

My drive in to work every day requires me to drive through damage from the storm. I believe I have mentioned this in a previous post. There is literally no route from my job that I can take without seeing devastation. I have to admit that it's kind of numbing to see it everyday and that seems to make everything a little bit more bearable, a bit like a seasoned doctor or nurse who sees blood everyday or sticks a needle in a vein. It's becoming normal.

I don't know if it's the stress from school, because upper division at the Capstone College of Nursing is intense, or if it's just part of the grieving process, but recently, seeing the same things I've seen everyday have stirred up some of the first identifiable emotions I've had from the storm; the shock, the heaviness in my stomach, the sadness. The sadness is always there, numb or not. But it's a rollercoaster ride and I guess right now, I'm going up a hill.

I realized today they are working on Rosedale. I don't know what words to describe because you can't tear down what's already torn down. It's more like, consolidating the piles of rubble.

Outside of Rosedale Court, April 28, 2011

It's no longer mounds of brick and wood in the now fenced in remains. It's larger mounds. They are starting to clean it up. And while I thought that it would maybe be a relief to see that debris finally disappear, I have to admit that it took my breath away.

I realized this morning that it's the change that's getting to me. It's so much change in so little time. I'm still having to learn the streets all over again because nothing is recognizable along many roads. As soon as I have begun to learn new landmarks, they change again.

This says so much to the hard-working men and women out in this 1o0 degree heat, every day, picking up the pieces of our lives and throwing them away as we all move on. The miracle that our spirits are still so high in Tuscaloosa bodes so well for our future and despite the stinging pain that finds it way up from time to time, it's going to be exciting to see what the future holds for this resilient town.

Part 2

So many people think "Where were you during the storm?" and I don't think that can summarize the full story in Tuscaloosa. There is so much more to people's stories besides where they were. In fact, the more remarkable stories are after the storm hit.

I'm sure everyone by now has seen at least one YouTube video of the Tuscaloosa Tornado. For some reason there were tons of idiots out there joyfully chasing this monster as it journeyed and ate a fourth of Tuscaloosa. To put it in perspective why I despise the videos of guys "whoo-hooing" in the videos, 2300 homes were leveled in Tuscaloosa from this. That number doesn't include the number of damaged homes, the number or leveled business, or the number of damaged businesses. Think about that the next time you watch the video. This storm destroyed so much of what is Tuscaloosa, it's hard to conceive how far reaching the devastation actually is unless you see it in person.

That being said, I still find it sad so many people come just to sight-see. We are not a place for that. Tuscaloosa is a place of so much more than the devastation you see on the news.

On the day after the storm, I was number. My car wouldn't go into gear and I borrowed A's car so I could get to work. It ended up being a good thing that I did because debris was everywhere. I find it important to define "debris" at this time. Most of the time, that word makes a person think about tree limbs down or even fallen trees, maybe some trash strewn about in yards, or even the house on the corner that lost a gutter. That's not the debris I'm talking about.

Tuscaloosa looked like a post-Apocalyptic war zone.

I was on the phone with my mother driving south on 359. I passed the 15th Street exit knowing that a out of my line of site was an area completely devastated. I knew the business were blown away, I knew the houses were gone. I knew cars were upside down in the streets. I knew that from the Guthrie's parking lot, you could see clear across to the Home Depot on the other side of Forrest Lake. In my mind's eye, I knew the area had a whole knew landscape. But I wasn't prepared for the devastation the tornado caused before it reached that area.

It was 6 am and the sun was just starting to rise over Tuscaloosa. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Pink fluffy material started to appear on the roads. The it was the larger pieces of metal. Yeesh! Debris got thrown here, too! After 359 ascended into an actual freeway, the landscape around me drastically changed. Only half of every tree was left standing, more of the pink fluffy material that insulates a house lined the roads. Fortunately, nothing large was in the road blocking the drive to work. I looked to to the right and noticed damage to buildings. I looked to my left and saw much worse.

A large metal tower was bent and twisted along the side of the road, not broken from its wide base but creased at the four posts that made the bottom. Cars were in ditches, upside down, on their sides, flattened and most with red "X's" spray-painted on the doors. The grass the remained looked like it had be freshly vacuumed from where it had been pulled from the earth. The church that identified my exit was missing one wall. A portion of the brick on one side was missing. I was the only vehicle on the road at the time and began to slow in anticipation of debris in the road. I drove underneath the first overpass holding my breath. To the right, tall mounds of wood and metal were left in place of the warehouses that marked my exit. To my left, a very large metal cylinder had rolled down the hillside, stopping just before the exit. The fence that lined the highway was gone. The posts of the buildings I had never paid attention before were all that were left of the businesses on Greensboro. Large metal boxes were lining the hillside of my exit. My exit? This is Kaloosa? Strips of metal were everywhere. Steel beams were bent in half and dug into the ground. I had never seen anything like this.

The eeriest part of seeing a disaster area is what you don't see anymore. There were no trees. there were no light posts. The traffic lights were missing. The area looked developed and completely undeveloped at the same time.

At this time, the death toll had not been announced. I knew without a doubt there was no way anyone could have survived in the relatively small amount of devastation I had seen so far.

I turned left off of the highway and back over the Interstate toward work. The car dealership to my left was missing windows and most of the cars were missing windows and were dented. I felt the sting of how expensive just that damage was going to be. It was a new BMW dealer. In the scheme of things, though, it was lucky. The business itself was missing one wall and a few panes of glass. It could reopen as soon as the roads were open for the repairs to be made.

The intersection ahead of me was out and the police were blocking the road. You could only turn right. To go straight ahead you would have to travel on foot and to go left would definitely require an ATV if you didn't want to walk. The entrance to my work is a right turn ahead of it. I hadn't realized the area was so hard hit.

There is a small neighborhood that you have to drive through to get to the station. It's a short road with a speed table and three stop signs. Small, inexpensive and old houses line the drive with tall trees giving shadow from the sun. On this day, after the first stop sign, I was grateful I was not in my small car. I wouldn't have been able to make it.

Trees lined the streets. Large limbs were in the middle of the road. I couldn't see the houses from the oaks that had fallen over. God, I hope no one was hurt. I slowed the vehicle to a creep and carefully maneuvered around the limbs. I made it to the second stop sign where on both sides of me large trees were blocking the rest of the neighborhood in. I steered around on last limb and had made it through. I could see the station now and it was just fine.

Looking back on this day is hard. I can't remember a lot. It's still a blur. I am not sure I can even write a timeline for the 28th the same way I can the 27th. I got in the building and started to work but I can't remember what work I did at first. JT came in after I did, followed by Todd and I can't remember who after that. This is where I really regret not journaling all of this as it occurred.

I'll just have to start this part of the story like this: We went on air at 8 am. We didn't go off air that day until 10 pm. At work, we had already sent emails back and forth to let each of us know that we were alive and safe. JT, Deelo, and Kyle had been at the station in the storm hit. That's how Deelo managed to shoot this video:

After the storm hit and the generator started working at the station, the story kind of goes like this: The guys just started talking about what had just happened. There were no phones or television for anyone to know what was going on. Few people had Internet access. Once the generator was supplying juice to get the phones powered, the guys apparently worked off of text messages from people able to give them information on the scope of things.

Then the phone calls started to come in. That's when everything changed.

"Hey, I'm in here and I need this and I don't know who to call."

"What we can do is pass that information along and find out for you."

That turned into, "Hey, my name is Fred and I have a chainsaw. If you need help, call or text 555-5555 and I'll come help you."

That then turned into people calling in with, "We need a home," and those calls were answered with, "We have a spare room."

In what is being heralded as one of the worst natural disasters in American history, my town came together. When we started the broadcast on Thursday, the phone calls continued.

"We have food."

"We need food."

"We need water."
"We have water."

"We have a donation drop off site."

"We're coming from North Carolina with an 18-wheeler."

The calls didn't stop. We were flooded. We were flooded with information to direct and we did it. I don't want to sound boastful about what we did. I don't want my back scratched or patted or to be awarded for my small stations efforts. We did what was natural to us and what was coming naturally to our town already; community. We would spend the next 17 days on the air broadcasting news, information, donation sites, needs, stories, heart breaks, reunions, good news, bad news, even our own personal stories. If there was a rumor in town, we would already have it debunked and have the facts ready to prove it.

And the rumors were tremendous. But I'll get to that at another time.

Thursday was such a confusing day for me. I had so many places I needed to be, so many things I needed to do. I had a test from Wednesday night that had been cancelled. When would it be made up? I was leaving for a trip the next morning, on business with A for his work. When would I be able to get home to pack...when would I be able to get home? Fortunately, I had a load of clothes at his apartment already. The wonderful man that he is washed and packed what I did have in one of his bags so I could have something to take on our trip.

It was getting to be later in the morning and around1030 am when we started to have a steady flow of phone calls, I told JT I needed to try to get to my apartment. I still didn't know if it was there, I didn't know the status of my roommates, and I didn't know if I would be able to get my things. I jumped in to A's car knowing that this would have to be a quick trip despite the obscene amount of traffic. A quick glance to 359 from the building showed it was literally a parking lot. Cars were lined up to view the devastation. smh...people need to quit. This site-seeing proved to be one of my biggest pet peeves of this entire ordeal.

I knew I wouldn't be able to get to campus from 259. It was literally not moving. My only other option was to turn right out of the small neighborhood and head in the direction of the devastation. I would have to make a huge detour, though, one that would take me straight up around all of the hardest hit areas. I had no idea how I would be able to get to where I was going without jumping on 359. The police were at every intersection and the state troopers were parked at every exit. This was going to be a nightmare.

I decided to continue my plane towards the devastation. I detoured down Greensboro to McFarland. All of the traffic lights in town were out and it was frustrating to get through each one when people didn't treat them as a four way stop. Especially at McFarland. Finally, someone let me take my turn and I was able to head toward campus on McFarland Blvd. The traffic was slow but moving and I knew I wouldn't be able to make it all the way up. I detoured again through some newly built apartments to the Target. When I got to the next traffic light, I was halted by more devastation and police officers. At the Home Depot, I looked to my left and there was nothing. My bank was even damaged. Well, there go my funds for the beach... They wouldn't reopen for four more days. It's a credit union and both locations were halted. I wouldn't be able to do anything electronically until I had Internet and they were open again. I looked in my wallet and saw a $5 bill. I felt pretty helpless with that knowledge.

The police at the light wouldn't let me turn left. The area behind him was 15th and McFarland, now known as Ground Zero around here. There was nothing there and building debris everywhere. It was the closest I had been since it hit not 17 hours earlier. Another cop was positioned directly in front of me. Behind him were homes that were completely destroyed. It was a neighborhood I had driven through a million times and now it was rubble. I would have to go right again.

I made it to the next traffic light and decided I would have to ask a policeman to let me through so I could get to Jack Warner. If I could get to Jack Warner, I could get to campus. If I could get to campus, I could get home. I told the officer at the next light where I lived and that I was trying to find out if I had a home. He was nice and let me through. Carefully, I drove down the road through heavy, heavy debris. The traffic was crawling and a lot of people were walking around. Trees were on rooftops and cars were missing windows. The landscape collectively was barely recognizable. The houses didn't look the same. I felt heartbreak looking at the homes I had wished I could buy to fix up and make my own one day. I was slowly making my way into Alberta, and area I had no idea how hard had been hit at the time.

I came to another road block and as I waited my turn, I looked to my left and saw a bent street sign. I read the street and started to recognize where I was. I followed the street sign to find a sign of a curb and realized I was driving in an area directly hit by the tornado. I was behind a shopping center that housed my old gym, the Hobby Lobby, Big Lots, Chuck E. Cheese... all of that was gone and I was like driving on pieces of the building. Holy shit... I had no clue that I was where I was. Nothing looked the same. As I began to look harder at the scene, I realized the people walking around weren't just helping other people. Many of the people were walking toward me in as much of the street as possible with suit cases. I wonder now where these people were going because they were walking miles to the nearest shelter if they were headed to the Belk Center. It didn't dawn on me at the time that these people probably didn't have a destination. I was too busy realizing they were carrying in these suitcases all they had left from their home.

I finally reached the cop and told him what the police officer had told me to tell him to get through the block.

"No, ma'am, you can't go through here."

"But I'm just trying to get home and get my things. It's my home. I just want to get to Jack Warner."

"Not this way you're not."

"But I live here. How do I get home?"

"I don't care. You can't go home."

"Just, please, tell me how I can get to Jack Warner, please," I was desperate. "Can you at least tell me if it's still standing?"

"You can't go home." He pointed for me to turn around and another police officer walked up. I gave up and turned around. I knew there had to be a way for me to get to Jack Warner.

I headed back to the main road and tried another road to Jack Warner. This one was covered with trees. I followed a car through the neighborhood hoping it was going to lead me to the other side. When I got to another police officer, I explained what I was trying to do again.

"Ma'am, I don't think you're going to be able to get home. We're not even letting the folks who live here through."

"I understand that but can you tell me how I can get to Jack Warner from here? If I can get there, I think I should be able to get home."

"Well..." he thought for a minute. "Alberta is all gone and you won't be able to get to Kicker. You're going to have to turn around and go to 359."

Groan..."It's pretty bad over there, too. The traffic isn't moving. Do you know about the toll bridge?"

"No, I don't but even if you did get to Jack Warner, I am not sure it doesn't have road blocks on it, too."

I tried five more road blocks, some officers as friendly as the second one, many as tired and mean as the first one. I was tired and just wanted out of the car. I gave up. I couldn't get home.

I headed back to the station worried about my apartment. I didn't even know where to begin to start to park and walk and find out much less get my things. When I finally made it back to the exit to the station, a state trooper was parked blocking the entrance. He wouldn't let me through. I pointed to him where I was going and he wouldn't budge. I showed him the email and my badging that showed he had to let me through the road block and he still didn't let me through. Instead, he made me drive back up 359, on to 15th Street, down Greensboro, through a second road block, show my badging again, drive through Rosedale and then to the station.

It took two hours to do that. It took less time to make it through 7 roadblocks to find out I was displaced than it did for me to get back to the station. Tuscaloosa was a traffic disaster. Everyone was site seeing. And I can understand despite how frustrating it was. Your jaw dropped at the devastation.

I got back to the station, let them know I was back and decided to walk to Rosedale and take photos for the website. It was on my to-do list for the day. Taking pictures was not something I wanted for my own personal memoirs. It was a twenty minute walk to the area.

I have more to write about my walk to the area and seeing the immediate needs, the immediate devastation, and the cleaning-up already started. However, I don't want to write all of this in one sitting. Thursday was an emotionally draining day for me. As I'm trying to write this and recall everything, I get exhausted remembering the emotions of the days. It stung to hear "you can't go home," over and over again. It still stings to remember the uncertainty of having a home, deciding on what to do about a planned trip when you're already displaced I mean, where else would I have gone? I was very torn that day on whether to stay in Tuscaloosa because I felt so compelled to fix what had happened but I wanted to go on this trip, whether I had my things or not, so I wouldn't have to see this disaster another second. While I think it's important for me to write down everything I can now before I forget and to tell my story, I think it's more important for me to remember all I can not just so that twenty years from now I can show my kids history, but for therapy. I also think it's important to keep this from being boring and exhausting to read in one sitting!

Walking through Rosedale was a medley of emotions that I still haven't defined. For that matter, Part 3 will be about the experience and I will include the photos I took. For me walking through Rosedale was walking into another world.

...tbc

Part 1

I'm alive.

Who knew I'd ever have an experience in my life where I needed to let people know I was alive?

During the early morning hours of April 27, 2011, I was sleeping hard in my bed while the rain came down. I was woken up only a few short minutes before my alarm went off at 5 am by a loud clap of thunder.

It was dark. It made a chill run down my back.

I jumped out of the bed and simultaneously, the sirens were going off in Tuscaloosa. I reached for my phone and called work. I had to be there. We had been broadcasting on air for days that large super cell storms were expected on Wednesday afternoon. We knew a small front was coming through in the morning but it was expected to be bad. It was the afternoon that concerned the weathermen.

I flipped on the TV and called JT. He was already at the station and told me to stay put. I could come in when the winds calmed down. I pulled on my clothes, brushed my teeth, and was ready for work. I had my school books ready to go. I had a lab final for anatomy at 5 pm. These storms were already a nuisance. I was more worried about whether or not I would be able to take my final and how much more time I had left to study for it.

By 5:30 am, I was able to walk out the door and head to work. Immediately, I was put to task updating weather, updating websites, following the radar, what had JP Dice just said? All seemed to calm down by 8:00 am.

In Alabama during the spring, weather like this always happens. You pray for the best and never expect the worse. Certainly, these weather men are overhyping the afternoon line of storms.

I headed to my 9 am and 10 am classes in the light rain as scheduled. Weather statements had been texted to my phone from UA to be aware of strong storms. I had wished they had cancelled my classes so I could get two extra hours of study in. At 11 am, I went to Gorgas Library on the campus of the University of Alabama. For those unaware of the layout, I was about a half a mile from 15th Street. I spent the rest of the day there prepping for my lab final. I didn't really care about my test, I just needed to pass it. I had already gotten my acceptance letter to the Capstone College of Nursing on the 16th and had an A in the course. I just wanted to keep my A for my GPA.

I was with some classmates in a study room and around 1 pm, we decided we wanted to watch James Spann and have a laugh while we studied. We took a big flat screen television and plugged it up to a macbook. From the macbook, we played the 33/40 ustream. James Spann was already calling out towns, already had the suspenders showing.

On the ustream, there was a chat and C decided he wanted to "play" with some of the people in the chatroom. With all of the fuss on the weather, it was nearly impossible for us to truly focus on identifying reproductive organs on cats, tissue samples, and physiological processes. We were having too much fun watching the television. We were having too much fun debunking this one girl in the chatroom who was saying it was so dark in Tuscaloosa and how scary it looked outside when the sun was out. We typed in "The sun is out. We are on campus. No dark clouds in the sky."

Immediately, responses flowed in to us: "Not the sun!" "The sun is so bad!" "I hope that sun goes away!"

Perplexed we asked why this was so bad. I had no clue. I'm almost 30 and have been through so many storms before, never had I heard the sun is bad.

"The sun heats up the atmosphere and will make the storm stronger."

About this time, I can't remember the exact time on my watch, James Spann started calling out highways in Cullman. I have family in Cullman. My brother. My sister. My nephews. Where are they?

The camera showed this massive storm eating buildings in Cullman. I immediately sent out text messages. "Where are you?" "Are you in a safe place?" All of them were unanswered and time started to slow down.

"C, my family lives there. I can't joke anymore. They're calling out streets where they work and live," I nervously told him. The rest of our friends fell silent, awkwardly giggling to kill the tension every so often. I picked up my phone again and thought long and hard. Finally, I dialed my grandmother's number.

"Meme? Are you watching the TV?"

"No, you're Paw and I are playing on the computer." For the first time in my life, my grandmother was not watching severe weather. That's why she hadn't called yet!

"Well, I don't want to panic you, but a big tornado just ripped through Cullman. It was in downtown. I tried calling Steve, Sonya, and Mary but they aren't answering. If you hear from them, let me know."

"Oh really? I had no idea. Buddy! Turn on the TV, there's weather!" Watching James Spann in the south is like... the President interrupting Flipper. A necessary nuisance. "Where are you? Are ya'll getting weather yet?"

"No, ma'am. The sun is out here. But these storms are supposed to just pop up, so..." I trailed off. No one wants to panic their grandparents, "Well we just don't know what to expect today. I was watching that storm on the TV at the library. We're studying for our final. I'm hoping this weather doesn't postpone my final. We have a beach trip to go on Friday! I can't make up an exam then!"

"Well, you'll do your best I know. Steve is in Decatur today but I'll try to call Mary and Sonya," this brought relief to me even though my sister and sister-in-law and nephews were still quiet in Cullman.

I hung up the phone and we went back to watching. I plugged my phone up to make sure I kept charge. If we did lose power, I knew I'd need as much life as possible until the power company got things working again.

At 3:45 pm, the tornado sirens went off again. The siren is actually on the side of Gorgas Library and it pierced my ears. Well, we're done for the day. We unplugged the computer, packed up, and headed down. On campus the procedure is to move to the lowest level of the building during a warning. All classes are suspended until the warning is over. As we gathered our bags, we jokingly laughed about how this is going to be such a close call on our final. T was in tears that yet another exam would be postponed due to weather. She had worked so hard this semester.

T was nervous about the storms. More than she let on. She had never been in a tornado before. She had no idea what to expect and was apprehensive when I tried to tell her she had nothing to worry about.

We moved to the first floor of Gorgas. The library is a huge, well built building. It's 9 floors total of cement, brick, and books. The first floor is a misleading name because it's not the lowest level of the building. When we came down the stairs to the cafe, we entered to a large crowd of people gathered around another large screen TV with James Spann. The camera this time showed a wall cloud.

My phone started buzzing. My sister Candice wanted to know if I was in a safe place. I have a bad habit of going outside during tornadoes. This sick obsession with physically seeing them and wanting to study them with my eyes. I sent her a message, "I'm on campus. I'm safe." I wasn't worried about me at this point, I was still trying to find my family in Cullman. If truly went to the lowest level of the building, I wouldn't have a signal.

I called Mary again and this time she answered. "Mary where are you?"

She had been asleep when the storm hit. The TV said the hospital in Cullman had been hit, where Mary works. He newborn son was in a house next door to the hospital. OhmiGod my nephew! "Mary have you talked to David?"

"I didn't even know a storm had hit!"

"Well, it hit the hospital. I can't get in touch with Sonya, either. Where's Logan?"

"At my mom's. They have a storm shelter," she sounded like she was holding her breath. "I'll call you back."

The sirens were going off again. It was 4:15. This time it wasn't the tornado sirens but the building sirens. The whining sound was mixed with a voice that read off the weather warnings and what to do.

My phone buzzed again. Here we go. It was my mother. Mum was wanting to know where I was, if I was safe. She turned on James Spann.

I cussed that she was watching. I looked at the TV again and James Spann was saying the tornado was developing west of Tuscaloosa. Piss. Mum is watching this. I typed in my phone my default answer. "Mum, I'm safe. I'm on campus at the library." She responded: Don't go outside! I laughed and showed my friends. "Don't worry. They won't let us go outside." I lied.

I had already been outside to talk to Mary. There was so much commotion. It was loud and hard to hear on the phone. I walked outside again to call my mother. It was a ghost town.

Wind was blowing lose sheets of paper around. Several people were standing under the awning smoking cigarettes nervously. I can't stand the smell of cigarettes. A UAPD car slowly drove past with a bullhorn warning people to get inside. Occasionally, he would blip his sirens to make sure he had our attention. Another chill ran down my spine.

"Mum, hey, I'm safe."

"Where are you, sis? Are you inside?"

"Yeah, I'm safe. I'm at the library. I need this to pass so I can take my exam. I don't want to miss my beach trip if I have to take it Friday."

I chatted with Mum for a minute to calm her worry and headed back in. I stood in the front of the crowd and looked up at the TV in the cafe. We all watched chaotically moving about.

My phone kept buzzing the entire time. I sat down against the wall and plugged my phone up again. My dad called to check on me. This raised a little worry in me because he usually calls after a storm, never before one hits.

At 4:45 pm, the warnings were extended. Double piss. I got what seemed like my 100th message of the last half hour. I looked down and again it was Candice. "You're not outside are you? This thing is huge!"

Huh? "No. I'm inside. I'm in Gorgas." The next series of texts came in so quickly, I couldn't respond fast enough. Mum, Candice, Mum, Candice, Mum, Candice, Sonya - Sonya! She was safe, thank God! I was so relieved to hear from my family in Cullman. I stood up to tell my friends. I turned around to see the television, my phone vibrating non-stop in my hands. A massive tornado was headed to Tuscaloosa.

"Steph, I'm scared for you!"

"Put a book over your head!"

"Where are you?"
"Are you there?"

"DO NOT GO OUTSIDE!"

During all of this chaos, I had been trying to contact A. He had to drive to work that afternoon. I was more worried about him driving in this weather than me being in this weather. I begged him to turn on the ustream feed. To my relief, work had given him the night off. He wouldn't have to drive to Montgomery. After I had seen this storm on the television, I was more worried for him than campus. To me, where I was was invincible.

"Go downstairs and tell Jessie to let you in!" I told him.

He answered, "I'm fine. It's not dark here, babe!"

"I know but it wasn't dark here either! There is a huge tornado in Tuscaloosa headed straight for you!! Get in the bathroom or something!!"

Time continued to slow to a halt.

The sirens went off again. Inside the library, everyone stared at each other a second. It was quiet and all you could hear was James Spann.

"If you know anyone at the University of Alabama, call them immediately and tell them to get to a safe place! This is a huge storm, headed towards the campus." Spann proceeded to name buildings on campus. Mentally, I pleaded with him to stop before he called out Gorgas. "...Gorgas Library..."

Bloody hell, thanks Spann! Immediately my phone, my mum, my sister:

"Are you in the lowest level?"

"Are you inside?"

"Where are you?"

"Sis, get against a wall!"

"It's so big! I'm watching this on the television! He said it's headed straight for you!"

I sent my sister a message, "I wonder if I'll have a car after this."

She responded, "I don't care about your car. I care about your safety right now!"

At a little after 5:00 pm, The power went out. It flickered back on while the cable failed to come back on.

I was so busy trying to respond to the messages that I almost missed the faculty ushering us to the lower level of Gorgas library and it's stairwells. I looked at C. He wasn't saying anything. I looked at T. She was following the flow. I picked up my bag and followed suit. I was hoping T wouldn't be to scared of the storm. I felt like I had lied to her when I told her she had nothing to worry about.

We lined up and filed ourselves down the flight of stairs to the damp basement of the library. It is filled with shelves and shelves of metal bookcases and desks. Mum would hate to know this is my safe place. I grabbed T and C and had them follow me to a spot along the wall of the stairwell, by a plug and around the least amount of metal. I should never in my life have to think about whether or not I'm in the safest place possible. I plugged my phone back up. I was still getting text messages. Candice was panicked when I didn't respond fast enough. Mum was worried I wasn't safe enough. Why did they have to see this on the television?

I looked at C and T and realized neither of them had been in a storm that made us go to this extreme before. I explained to them this was no big deal and what I'd grown up having to do. I tried to rest their worries with stories of gradeschool and having to sit in the hallways for hours waiting out storms. Of course, these were the days before modern technology told us there was a tornado outside of our window. Shortly after we were settled, a faculty member peaked his head out of the stairwell entrance so all of us could here. Students were lined all along the walls, sitting on the metal desks, propped up against the bookshelves, and camping out next to each other in the stairwell.

"OK, if the power goes out, we need you guys to just relax, stay quiet, and stay put. We'll come guide you out with a flashlight. If are to take a direct hit, we need all of you to stay away from the bookshelves and get as close to the wall and stairwell as you can. Find something to cover your head with, too." I couldn't see this person from where I was, but I was glad it was a calm voice giving directions. About 100 of us were in the lower level and I was more worried about panicked students trampling me than a tornado. Unfortunately, his voice wasn't calm enough.

I was still getting text messages. The power went out again and stayed that way.

"Candice, I'm being told what to do, hang on."

"Steph, I'm so scared for you!"

Mum, "Where are you?"

Me, "A! Are you watching? I can't tell you where it is anymore!"

Me, "Candice, here's A's number, tell him to stop watching Friday Night Lights and get safe! I have to start saving battery. I'll text you in a bit!"

Me, "Mum, I have to save my battery."

Mum, "I love you, Sis."

When I got that last text from my mother, I knew this was serious.

At approximately 5:13 pm, The lights went out again and the building shook lightly. Not a bad vibration. It felt like a loud thunder was shaking the earth. And it last longer than thunder should.

Then it was over.

After a few minutes, the calm voice spoke from the stairwell again, "OK, guys, it's passed us we think. We need you guys to stay here for at least ten minutes and then another one is coming. You can stay here for now or go home or seek shelter elsewhere."

My phone started buzzing...again. I was irritated with the phone and I wanted to turn it off.

"Where are you!" My sister was frantic in text.

All of this time happened simultaneously and chaotically. The only clear worry I remember is my car.

"I'm safe. No power. I need to conserve battery so spread the word for me. I don't know if I have a car."

Mum sent me another message. "I'll give your phone a rest now."

"OK, I'm safe. They are keeping us at the library for now. I'll text you when I find a source to charge my phone. Has anyone gotten in touch with A? I gave Candice his number. Please make sure he's safe!"

Before I knew it, I could go upstairs and I really had to use the bathroom! I used the flashlight on my phone to make my way up and walked into a sea of more students on the first floor that had waited out the storm. Many people were on the phone. The impact of the tornado hadn't hit me yet.

My phone buzzed again. It was my aunt. She rarely texts me much less calls. This time she was calling. "Are you safe?"

"Yeah, I'm at the library. I don't know if I have a car, though."

"I can't get Jake." Jake is my cousin who moved here a year and a half ago. He lives near campus and was supposed to be at home when it hit.

"I've been doing a lot of texting. I hear people can't make phonecalls. In fact, I don't know how you got me-" I had tried to call my dad and let him know I was safe but the calls wouldn't go through. I chatted with my aunt a second and asked her to call my dad and grandparents for me and let them know I was safe. To be perfectly honest, this conversation is so foggy. As I was on the phone with her, I had walked outside and around the building to the quad. Trees were everywhere.

When I hung up the phone and walked back in, my phone was already low on juice. I don't even know what time it was anymore. Some of my friends were leaving the library. T had my backpack and I was perplexed at what was going on.

"They're closing the library."

"What?"

"Yeah, we're headed to Ridgecrest!" My sister had sent me more messages about more weather coming through and how we needed to stay put. I was confused.

"Well, we have about an hour until the next line comes through. Can we walk to my car and see if it's still there?" C, T, and I hiked across campus to my car to find out how it was. No busses were running. The wind was eerie and the air was still. Without seeing any devastation, I knew I was in a disaster zone.

While we were still in the library, I had gotten word of all the buildings that had been hit, the massive devastation. All the three of us could think of to do was get to another place of shelter. We loaded T's car and got to the dorms. Then it dawned on me, do I have an apartment??

Immediately I started to field the facebook, using more juice on my phone. We hiked up four flights of stairs and while I watched pictures of devastation pop up on my feed. Twitter was the same. Photos of crumpled buildings were popping up everywhere.

Somehow, UA still had Internet access. T, C, one of C's roommates, and I each took our turns charging our phones on laptop and updating our Facebook and Twitter statuses to let friends and family know where we were and that we were safe. We collectively let out a sigh of relief when we learned that another storm was not headed our way. I was thinking of staying the night at the dorm. My phone was so low I didn't know how I'd get up for work the next day, I didn't know how to contact A and let him know. The laptops would run out of juice soon.

D, C's roommate, started getting videos of the devastation. Then I started to recognize the crumpled buildings I'd already seen in the photos.

Speechless I watched the video as the camera panned the scene. On 15th St, the paneling of McDonald's in the middle of the road, a car was flipped over, power cords were strewn about. Hokaido was leveled, Smoothie King gone. We were hearing that Hobby Lobby, Milo's, Krispy Kreme, Chuck E. Cheese were all gone. Then our friends started posting and texting. Their houses were gone, their dogs were missing, their friends were missing, their lives were in shambles.

As I look back on that afternoon, I realize now that even that night I had no clue how far reaching the devastation was. I had no concept of how close this storm came to wrecking my life.

I finally got one word back from my roommates that they were safe and were leaving the apartment. But I still didn't know if I had one. As dusk began to fall over the city, five of us piled up in C's car to get my to mine. We headed down the road to see if I had an apt. All I could see was it's shadow and that was good enough. I turned my little car around and headed across the bridge.

I was completely stunned and thoughtless. My phone was dead. The complete silence was welcome. I got to A's apartment and he was waiting for me with open arms. I didn't even know then that I needed to cry. I fixed a glass of wine and plugged up my phone. We sat in silence together in front of the television for, what felt like to me, an eternity.

What just happened? The videos of the storm started to pop up. The monster in action. I was the YouTube clips and wanted to throw up. This storm was so close to taking my job, my school, my home, my life. Why didn't it? We went to bed and I had dreams of being chased by tornadoes. I woke up and started into work for my 6 am start time as usual. The sun was just starting to rise over the city. I had no idea what to expect.

I called Mum on the way in to touch base. I told her how I'd spent my night and that I didn't know if I had an apartment yet. That was notched on my "to-do" list for the day. Get stuff for the beach. "Mum, I hear it's bad. I've seen some video. We got leveled!"

"I'm so glad you're OK."

While I was on the phone with her, I got closer to work and began to see for myself some of the devastation. Cars were crushed and upside down on the highway. Towers were crumpled on hillsides. Buildings had been reduced to pillars. Then I realized, I was at my exit, but I couldn't recognize it.

"Oh my God, Mum! It's all gone!!"

"What, Sis?"

"This city! It's all gone!!" I sat on my phone in the parking lot of the radio station for a minute and we weeped together. It was the closest I was going to be able to get to her for four more days.

When we hung up, I dried my eyes and walked into the Round Building. We call it that not because it's titled that, but, well... it's round and wooden and old and faithful. I walked in the door and started an experience that has changed me and my perception of what happened in Tuscaloosa.

When I started work on April 28, 2011, I had no idea that what I was about to be apart of was going to be the best experience of my life.

....tbc

165 days

Today is the start of spring practice for the Bama boys.

I would like to take a moment to thank safety Mark Barron for taking the spotlight off the start practice and putting it on his weekend arrest because he thought defending his cousin's hit and run accident in Mobile was a smart thing to do. Family blood is not stronger when you have a full scholarship starting your future.

Really looking forward to A-day this year! I hope I get the nephews so I show them what Aunt Stephie loves so much!

Roll Tide!

Winter Wonderhell

I live in the south and have for all of my life. I never thought I'd say this.

I'm sick of the snow.

We have had, I'm not sure, three or four "storms" this year? In all honesty, today is the first time I've seen more than half an inch on the ground and have seen the state of Alabama still function fully! Schools are either in session or delayed, banks are opened, grocery stores weren't packed. Are the residents of Alabama finally getting the idea that roads can be driven on when snow is on the ground? Or is this just a fluke incident?

I was so excited for snow on Christmas. It was my first white Christmas in my life. I'd never seen one before then. I got to spend it with A and my families and all was right in the world.

Then the next "storm" came and I got stuck inside for three days... cabin fever.

Then the next "storm" came through, unexpectedly, after I'd been awake for approximately 72 hours, given a thirty minute and a three hour nap in between, studying for an anatomy exam hence the reason I've not been writing. Sad face. When the weather started to move onto campus, then campus officials thought it was prudent to close down for the day, at 3:30, when I'd just sat down to take the exam. Needless to say, my sleeplessness was in vain and the test was rescheduled on what was, fortunately, a much prettier, sunnier day.

Today is different. There are snowmen on rooftops, sled marks in the grass, people walking around outside without fifteen layers of clothing. I think people around here are actually getting it: snow isn't that bad.

And I mean that in the strangest sense. While I'm irritated with the educational delays this wintry weather has caused me and the oncoming stress that I will endure to catch up - driving back from work today, I do believe the snow on the naked trees and grass was maybe one of the most beautiful sites I've ever seen in my life.

Not enough hours in the day

What the hell is Microsoft Access?? I have no clue!

I'm working on these modules for my CS class and laughing so hard I hurt at the lucky guesses I'm making. The power was out at my apartment complex for... oh all night, and so I'm waayyyy behind on getting things done! I have a research project to do, a CS test on Access (that I haven't got a clue what it's point is for...I mean, Excel's not complicated enough?? Or good enough for that matter??), a coffee date Yay! Coffee!!, and A's parents are coming to town. Not to mention I have to be in bed early so I can get up at 4 am OR find somewhere in this madness to get a nap.

Dear God, please let it stop raining when it's time for me to peddle my happy self home. That's a long ride in the rain...

In other news, I'm running, but I'm gimp. I will not let an injury stop me from running another Mercedes!

How I got ready for the game

I think I've found a new hidden skill. I decided to get creative with my nails for the Bama/Penn St. game last week and here's how it turned out...

I think I'm going to start charging $15 a set! Ha! I think for me to have done them myself, they turned out pretty damn good!!

Welcome back to stress

I had this idea at the beach. I would start using OneNote to write my blogs and then just upload all of them to Blogger when I got back home. I haven't done that yet. Today's my first day back at work and I got really tired of waiting for iPhone to catch up with my typing speed on my Blogger app. Damn new update... I ended up writing ONE entry and I'll post that later.

In the end, the vacation was awesome!

I got home to a disaster, though. My patio furniture was stolen, I moved my stuff from upstairs to downstairs without a place to live since I STILL didn't have a key with hours left before I HAD to be out of the old room... My apartment management is awful! They even put me in the wrong room! So after I got permission to move my stuff, I find out I'm supposed to be in a different room THEY ASSIGNED early, despite my request MONTHS ago for the room I wanted. That office management came scarily close to seeing me lose my temper. Thank God A was there to keep me calm.

The best part about coming back home so far is the welcoming hug I got from A when I got home. I love being held that tight. I missed him.

Now I must get back to work... Corporate day...

One Pooped Puppy!!

I am feeling a little too drained to write. But I want to write.

I thought I wanted a night to myself and now I'm bored. In my defense, it's been super hectic the last two days! Yesterday at work, I got stranded at a gas station for hours while Habeeb, the manager, kept telling me, "You are too small to drive that big van! Too small! Why do they have such small girl drive such big van!?"

Before Habeeb chided me for driving a huge Econoline, I was fighting with FAFSA about the loss of my grant... at this moment, I just realized that I did NOT get to call back today to find the form I need to fix that... GDMFPOSGD!

Then I got home much later than expected and had a pizza, beer, and packing party with future roommate and a co-worker. We got so much done! Thank God! Now all I need is the key to my new room and to move my clothes. It was very helpful having three sets of hands putting things I know I'm not going to need immediately in a box and moving them to the new apartment as I could. We had fun, too, or at least I did.

Now my "to-do" remaining pretty plastic. I knock a few items off, pack room up, go to Birmingham, wash clothes, and I'm only making room for more things to be added. Go to library, pack for beach, finish the weekend warrior list at work, sleep.

I've got so much going on in such a short period of time that burn out syndrome is really kicking in! I'm so ready for this vacation! More mentally than physically... especially after I had to step on that scale today... I'm so ready to have books, sun, and sand!! A whole week of zero responsibility: home, school, or work! -- OK, ONE responsibility that I didn't get to do today that must be done ASAP!

So after packing, working, moving, driving, waiting, pushing, organizing, recording, digging, fixing, bleeding, arguing, and I can't remember everything else because it's all blurring together, I'm sitting down and enjoying a beer.

I just may sleep tonight...

The Day the A/C Died

I just got in from work. I cut out a little early because it's Monday. None of my stuff gets in on time so it's becoming normal for me to have to go back Monday evenings to finish my work. No big deal there. I like the privacy. I thought I'd hang out at home for a little while instead of wasting gas on a hot summer day looking at things I can't afford anyway.



When I walked into my apartment, it was like I walked into a dog pound that had just emptied all the kennels. It literally smells like poo in here. It is 100 degrees. OK, I exaggerate, really only 80. But still. It's Alabama in the middle of July. It's hot and it stinks. I get changed for the gym and cannot stop sweating and cannot figure out this horrid smell.



I had to check out what was up with the thermostat. That's when I found out it was broken.



I consider myself to be a neat freak. I do not like clutter. I do not like germs. I love Clorox and I love a squeaky clean shine. I love the smell of fresh things and find it much easier to relax when I'm not surrounded by clutter. That being said, I do not clean after others. I do not clean up a mess you left behind. I refuse. I don't care how tall the dishes in the sink get, I would rather buy something that doesn't require a dish for dinner than clean your dishes. Someone else's mess is not my responsibility. It pisses me off that people actually don't give a shit about this, but there are people in the world who literally think that if they loan a dish to a person, the loanee is then responsible for every dish in possession of the loaner. I live with two of them.



One of the two, in particular, amazes me. She defies the laws of science. I have never seen someone cook a meal, leave it out for five days - on the stove - without a cover, let it collect flies (yes, flies!!), then reheat it in in the microwave, then leave it in the microwave for three, THEN reheat it AGAIN, and not have one ailment from the 7 day life span of the food. She brings home a pizza, leaves it out for a week and then eats it. I'm amazed she isn't dead. I'm more amazed that she's never been deathly ill from this! Today, of all days, she left out an uncooked package of ground beef. It's next to all of her clean and dirty dishes in the sink.



Needless to say, I don't get to use my sink much. I don't use it unless I've cloroxed it, either.



It's also a fantastic idea to bring your own bottled water to my apartment and avoid the tap water.



So not only is it 80 billion blazing degrees in my home, it smells like poo because the walking miracle of science has left meat out...



Now, the maintenance man just left. He informed me that he had spoken with this roommate earlier about the A/C dying. He said that was this morning. So here it is, 4:30 PM, ground beef has been sitting out in my apartment, baking in humidity and 80 billion degree heat, she knew that the A/C was dead, and left the meat out anyway...

Bloody. Hell.

I. Cannot. Wait. To. Move. Downstairs.

I like to ride my bicycle

The thing that I love about the summer time is how out of nowhere, a rainstorm can hit.

Like today for example.

Perfect day for a lazy bike ride. I had no intentions of really pushing myself. Just a good hot, sunny summer day to jump on my bike and ride. It's my newest addiction. I've been going to spin classes pretty regularly lately and have loved them! I didn't get to go this past week so to make up for it, I thought I'd go for a ride around town and just have some good healthy me time on my bike! Until I got downtown...

I noticed the big, dark cloud way in the distance when I left. In the five minutes it took me to peddle down the ominous hill that got me started going to spin classes in the first place, the ominous cloud was gaining speed. I kept peddling thinking that I could at least make it into town.

By the time I got to the strip, it became a race: who was going to make it back to my place faster? Me or this storm?

Then I heard thunder!

I peddled my ass off and made it back up the hill in record time. Didn't get a drop of rain on me. By the time I made it to my stairs, the rain began to pour.

That's when I decided to play on Blogger a bit and found the new templates. I was ready for a face lift anyway. What do ya think??

Just warming up...

It's not even noon yet, as I write this, and I have so many tactless opinions to vomit currently it's not funny. Maybe I'm talking to you, maybe I'm not. Bottom line: I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I've collectively had about 12 hours of sleep the last three days; I'm in a bad mood.

• Don't tell me that I'm under review, that I have to turn in an unknown document by Saturday or get an automatic one on my review, and then not reply to my question of WTF the document is and what I need to do SINCE I'M OFF THE REST OF THE WEEK!

• Roommates: Clean up after yourselves. Some of you live like filthy pigs. It's disgusting! I get dust bunnies, I get scraps of paper left on the floor. I'm not cleaning up your dishes anymore, I'm not paying for you to use my toilet paper, I don't want your chicken juice on my food when it's thawing, I don't want the bacteria you let fester in the kitchen near me! If the dishwasher is clean and you have a dirty dish, empty the fucking dishwasher. Simple. Takes three minutes. Then put your dirty dish in. If the dish washer's full, start it! If you wash your clothes, please be considerate of others who need to wash their clothes; don't leave a load in the washer the night before you leave on a week long trip to somewhere. You're clothes are going to mildew cause they're just going to sit on top of the dryer, wet, until you come home. We cohabitate! Be considerate! And when you take the garbage out, put another bag in the damn can! Takes two seconds! I bought the damn bags, use them!

• Political activists on the Right and Left: SHUT UP! All of you! Right side: I didn't vote for him either but remember how the last 8 years all you said was, "We should support our President even if we didn't vote for him"? Yeah, waffle if you like, I was in political talk radio then, I've got it on tape. You said it, now act on it. He's you're President, support him. You don't have to like him, you don't have to agree with him, but he is your President now. Left side: I haven't said anything negative, I haven't said he needed to be impeached, I'm quite the moderate now as I get older so, quite frankly, you're not going to sway me either way. Please don't be like the Right for the last 8 years and rubbing in that their man's in a leadership position. Both sides: GROW UP! How many years have we been protesting, starting activist groups, leading campaigns against this and lobbying for that? Put active thought into that question, consider all of the rallies, protests, and petitions you can think of. --- I'll wait.----------Now that you've put some real thought (hopefully) into old and new political war cries, how many have actually worked without voting in the person to put into action? So instead of complaining how bad our economy is and whining about who put us in that situation, how about going back to work, be productive, make money, PUT THE MONEY BACK IN THE ECONOMY and make an active effort to fix our financial problems. Stop sitting on your funds because you're afraid. It takes spending it to get the economy moving again. It's how the system is designed to work. Tea Party People: You're just crazy to think anything is going to reform there. Yeah, just get over you're ideas. Stop saying they governments after your pelf when you know that majority of you (not 100%, but majority) are of the upper-middle class and say you're now live in poverty because of the economy. Taxes aren't going any where, they aren't going to be reformed in the near future unless we get a President elected who has the support to move the Fair Tax system.

• Coworkers: I can't work on Thursdays. I never ask for Saturdays off. Stop asking me to swap my A-day with you. It's not happening. I can't work Thursdays. It requires me to be in two places at once. I can't physically do that. Write it on a post it note, put it in your phone, tattoo it on your hand, put it somewhere you can remember to look. I've been there a year now, you've each asked on more than one occasion; the answer will always be no! Not on Thursdays, not right now. I will let you know when and if that should change!

Side note: I'm listening to Beethoven's Symphony 9: IV and it's getting me more charged for my vent. I haven't sipped my coffee while I've been writing this.

• The average Tweeter: Read the links before you post the story with your opinion in 140 characters or less. I'm annoyed with the number of people reading titles, assuming they know what the article is about, putting a little opinion about it next to the bity link, and submitting. Do you have any idea how stupid you look when people actually go read the link and find out that you're opinion has zero relation to the article you posted? I should unfollow you.

• Parents: Teach your damn children how to drive better! I'm a biker, I follow the same traffic laws as automobiles. That means you treat me the same way as a automobile. I am on a vehicle. I yield for you at yield signs, you yield for me. I stop for you, you stop for me. I will stay on the sidewalks as much as possible but three different teenagers almost committed manslaughter yesterday while I was heading to and from home. What makes me nervous is that teens follow their parents behaviors; you probably don't pay attention to pedestrians and bikers either. I just hope you have good insurance and don't kill me. DrSxDP will be pissed.

That being said,

• Pedestrians: USE THE SIDEWALK AND CROSSWALKS! If you jump out in front of my bike or car in a parking lot when I'm going 5 mph and flip me off for not stopping before you do so, you are jaywalking. I'm not psychic, I don't have x-ray vision. That's why I'm going 5mph! If I'm on my bike, or if you are around any biker for that matter, don't stand still in the bike path and look at us funny when we have to slam on our brakes from hitting you. Stupid twats, you almost deserve to be hit by a car. My insurance isn't that good, though, so you're lucky around me. Though, the mood I'm in today, jump out in front me and I may speed up!

• Some friends in particular that you already know who you are and I don't have to point you out because I've already given you my two cents on your predicament(s): If you aren't going to take my advice, please stop venting to me about how you don't know how to handle something or your life is in the shitter. I am your friend and will always be there for you, however, I will not tolerate pity parties when I've already told you how to handle a problem and you refuse to do it or listen. Honestly, for some of my friends more than others, I'm honestly concerned about how adamant you are about continuing your self-deprecation. You do not live in Shittown unless you want to. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, get back on again. But remember the definition of insanity it doing the same thing over and over again. You want to stay out of Shittown? Stop focusing on the things you can't control and focus on the things you can. When you control what should be organic, you create side effects like what you're experiencing now. Stop trying and let life happen naturally. Because I love you, I'm not listening to it anymore. It may be tough love, and it may hurt, but I don't like seeing you in the place you're in right now. It's time to start accepting the changes in life and going with things instead of manipulating them

• Internet Service Provider: Get off you're lazy ass and fix my connection problems already! Geez, it's old having to swap between all of your routers every five minutes!

I feel a good bit better now. God, I love writing...

Snow Angels

It's snowing outside.

I live in Alabama. That means the entire state's been shut down for flurries.

I will admit though, there is a lot of snow coming down. It's just not sticking very well. It will probably be something of more concern once the roads start to freeze over tonight. That will be great for me seeing as work hasn't notified me of ANY weather plans. Love corporate America.

It's actually kind of nice to wake up and have a lazy day, listening to all the neighbors waking up and playing in the snow. There are sounds of spontaneously laughter and splatters of snow on nylon jackets outside my window. Don't have too much fun out there, guys! This morning, it was as quiet as a mouse outside. Not a peep. The snow was resting gently and collecting slowly in the grass. It would fall in the most lazy of ways to the ground, hypnotizing me as I sipped my coffee.

I feel like a bum. I haven't accomplished much with this time. However, I've actually done a lot. Oxymoron of the day. Just finishing up last minute Valentine's and playing with new software to pass the time. I'm not going anywhere if I don't have to today. It's too cold, it's too wet, and I'm comfortable right where I am.

I'm hoping I don't get snowed in this Valentine's Day weekend. I'm very excited and curious about my Valentine's gift...my curiosity is quite piqued. All I have is a riddle. I like surprises. Always making me think. If you surprise me before I figure this out, you're good. Not many people surprise me - you know why. I don't want anything to spoil tomorrow. He had so much excitement in his eyes when he was teasing me with our mystery plans. I'm excited to find out! I'll just be happy to get to spend some uninterrupted time with him - that time that seems to tick so slowly when we're together and yet I still hate it when it comes to an end.

Then Sunday, I'm going home for the day. I get to see the two other young men in my life and give them their Valentine's from their favorite Aunt.

See, this stupid snow, while peaceful today, messes up a lot of my plans!

Go away, Snow!!

There will be SOUP!

Decided I would try to cook for the beaux tonight. I hope he doesn't die or get sick! I have been craving taco soup lately! I haven't had it in awhile. Alabama's playing football, R is late so now my apartment smells so good! The smell is making me very hungry!

I put a pot up this morning on what I should dare to cook. A couple of people were interested in my Taco Soup recipe so I thought I would post it for you while I watch Alabama play Miss St.

1 can black beans
1 can pinto beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can ranch style beans
1 onion chopped
packet of ranch dressing
packet of taco seasoning
1 can stewed tomatoes
1 can rotel
1 can cream style corn
1 lb cooked ground sirloin/beef

Brown the beef, chop the onions, and pour everything into a crock pot. Put it on low for the whole day and come home to a yummy supper. I put sour cream, cheese, and Tostitos scoops in my soup for extra yumminess.

Overdue

I'm so excited this morning! I am finally getting my eyes checked!! I'm going to leave there feeling like a new woman! I can't wait to get my contacts back!

Following that, I have a dentist's appointment. I had never been afraid of those before but the last time I went, it was a bit painful. Note to self: Get the gas this time!!

Take 2

You're going to call me an idiot.

I went on a date with D#1 tonight. I got weak!!

We had a good talk last night. He had been sending me text messages begging for forgiveness and admitting that he's an asshole. That part made me smile. I didn't have to even tell him! He called me, eventually, seeing as text message eventually get confusing when discussing something serious. I listened to what he had to say, but I made sure D#1 heard what I had to say.

Needless to say, it bothers me a bit that he has the same bottom line over and over again. He thinks that my irritation is solely in reference to his ogling of other females. In actuality, it's not. It's his behavior generally while intoxicated. It's the fact that he is the age that he is and was as irresponsible and insulting as he was. At first he didn't understand why it was such a big deal to me; and if he doesn't still, then I had a great free meal and probably the last for a minute.

D#1 now has boundaries and stipulations. There is to be no drinking around me. There is to be no threatening bodily harm to my friends. Actually, after some time has passed, it's up to him to make amends with my friends and make things right. He screwed his first impression with them and many others. K thinks I'm crazy and can't wait to say, "I told you so." He has other guidelines to follow as well.

I say, I have made things so strict for him that I will be surprised if he sticks around passed the weekend.

This is like having my own little bitch!

In the end, he said he wanted what we had back. I told him that what we had led to our problem. Why not modify it and do things differently; not make the same mistakes again? If he can't do that, then I'll know now that I am wasting my time.

Sigh

I can't sleep tonight.

I'm a bit irritated.

D#1 is begging for forgiveness. I got short with my best friend for when he was trying to help me. I also think I scared D#2 a bit with my short temper.

I'm just in a mood.

Caution: Bitch on the loose!

Honestly, and sadly, I would like to know D#1 on a sober level, seeing as we have had a blast together recently. I'm having a difficult time seeing past that big red flag in front of his face, though! As for S, I apologized profusely, I feel terrible about it! I also apologized to D#2. I should have been more patient with my problems instead of letting the stress (work and non-work related) get to me right now.

I do have blackmail for D#1, should I agree to see him again. I have in my possession the photo of him passed out in front of bar. He even has a plastic cup hat! If he pisses me off again, you'll get to see it, too!!

I need a Girl's Night Out!

Fireworks

What a crazy week and weekend it's been!! Hope everyone had a great fourth! Mine was spent on the lake with all of my friends and their children - food and beer included. It was awesome! Until I lost my house keys!! That didn't ruin my weekend, though! The fireworks were great, the water was awesome and I had a blast! Thanks to Dee Ann for having us all over!!

Met a couple of potential roommates as well this weekend. Oh the decisions I will have to make -- but more on that later!!

I have come to a conclusion that I need a list! I have attracted too many weirdos. I'm just a magnet for them. So I'm going to make a list - a big, long, picky list of requirements that a guy has to meet before I can go out on a date with him. Certainly that should nip some of this in the bud!!