So I got shot in the ass the other day...

I have a new theory. I'm sure several people nationally, globally, even universally share this theory with me. 

I had Laryngitis this week. Well, actually, it started a week ago today, the day before the race. I have been squeaking everywhere!

Tuesday, I had a day off from work. That morning, I squeaked to the doctor's office and held up my notepad. 

"I have no voice," it read.

The nurse behind the counter peered up at me like a librarian trying to see above her reading glasses. She was trying not to laugh but couldn't help it. By Tuesday, I was a little irritated. I'd been going around with a notepad for three days and it's not always the best way to get some one's attention. So to say I was slightly annoyed when she answered the phone instead of handing me the insurance forms to fill out would be polite.

"I made an appointment?" I wrote down. She just nodded her head and handed me the clipboard. 

I sighed and took a seat in the waiting room. It was filled with a plethora of people. This was my second visit to this doctor's office. The first time was three years ago, for the same problem. Think I should have my tonsils taken out? The room hadn't changed a bit. It was the same grouping of chairs, positioned against the same blue walls. The chairs lined the walls and the entrance as if to divide the room in to two groups: the sick and the non-sick. 

After several minutes of being forced FoxNews and how terrible our economy is (bullshit!), I finally heard my name called to the back.

Following the same procedures as last time, and using my trusty notepad, I told the doctor what was ailing me. He called for the xray, a shot in my ass, some cough syrup and some antibiotics.

He also asked me if I'd ever broken my nose.

"No," I wrote down.

"Are you sure?"

I looked at him puzzled. "I think I would remember that..." I jotted down quickly. "Why?"

"Oh, cause you're nose is crooked," answer the ENT Dr. like it was no big deal. He pulled up the xray and flipped the switch. His pen flew up to where my nostrils were printed on the film. "See, you're nose leans to the left."

I came here because I lost my voice! "And?" I mouthed out.

He shrugged, "No, biggie, just curious."

He wrote down the Rx's and handed them to me. Then he quickly pulled out a second sheet of paper that mimicked the Rx form. It was the same shape, font and style.

"Now you know, with this antibiotic, there is a strong chance you'll have some 'feminine issues'?" he asked.

I shook my head. I didn't understand where he was going.

"Just make sure you eat plenty of yogurt, take your vitamins and drink you're orange juice." He handed me the second sheet and I quickly glanced to the point of his warning. The word "yeast" jumped off the page.

This is where the theory comes in to play: Explain to me how an antibiotic prescribed to treat and 'infection' can cause an 'infection'?????????

I stumped you didn't I???