The one where Stephanie takes an Ambien...

I have advice for you. If you are instructed to take any sleep medication called Ambien, take it exactly as prescribed. In fact, if your doctor gives you a prescription, as for a lower dose! Then, follow his directions very closely; never stray. It's vital that you never go more than two months between dosages as well. The results can be rather...embarrassing.

I had a long weekend. It was an awesome, fantastic weekend. It was Mother's Day! I had family time, friend time, social activities! I even sold half a car! It was a very pleasant and memorable weekend.

It was also tiring, and I don't have the best time sleeping and staying asleep these days. That is why I have Ambien.

I don't like this medication. It works, I sleep, however, I wake up feeling like I am a bottle of whiskey rather than having had a full nights sleep. Also, I've heard of the nightmares that can happen while on this drug. From people talking to walls, sleepwalking, even driving somewhere while asleep! I make sure to take it when I can devote more than 9 hours to sleep!

That was last night. I had 9 hours to sleep, despite the few hours left until the beginning of my work week. At 8:45 pm, I took my little white pill, made sure my door was locked, hid my keys, grabbed my dog and laid in the bed. At 6:00 am this morning, I woke up, groggy and hung over, and looked through my phone for any missed messages. I didn't remember much of the previous night, however, my friend, M, did. This is what I found out:

Usual morning text to M, "Good Morning!"

M: Good Morning! How was your Ambien sleep?

Me: Uhh..Good? Slept hard, lots of dreams!

Oh shit! I talked in my sleep!

Me: OMG I TALKED IN MY SLEEP DIDN'T I??!

M: Yes. You did.

Me: About what??

M: Mardi Gras, archbishops, fishing. U said the room was crowded with people in mardi gras costumes. U likd the white padded and crystal rooms.

Me: Fishing!!?

M: You said Ambien had a little car that took you from room to room and you want to find the cyrstal room again.

M: The xmen were hanging banners and wanted 2 b treated normal, the guy in the chair wouldn't stop staring at u, there were 2 kids playing b ball, ne going fishin

M: People on the mountain singing, u were at Target, you couldn't get Ambien's car started...

Me: I'm so embarrassed!

M: Don't be!

Me: Why didn't you hang up on me?!

M: You were cute and you said that you didn't want me to hang up!

Me: LMAO! I was obviously asleep! I'd have never known!! How long did I talk???

M: An hour.