Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Need a moment

I don't particularly care to bitch on here that often. I realize that my thoughts are up here for the world to read. That's probably one of the main reasons I haven't written as much lately -- I just don't want to come across as bitchy but I have to do this...at this point, I'm just frustrated.

Let me start with this: Dating is stupid. Men are stupid. Most men are just boys.

Here's why: guy #1, date a bit, we move in opposite directions, no love lost. Now, ding-dong wants to know why I don't speak to him anymore, if he can come over and "cuddle," and if we can be "special friends." Really?? How about a big fat no when you showed up at my apartment unannounced and when you told me you were at my door at 3 am another time, and really weren't even there?! That is a big fat, "Stay the hell away from me!"

Guy #2, Cool guy, fun to hang around. I love to hang out with him because there is no pressure at all! Pretty open relationship, able to date/see other people, free to hang out with friends, with each other or with each other and our friends. Just a fun person - Until I found out he tried to pick up a friend of mine at that bar...is that jealousy??? Wth???

Guy #3, Total sweetheart. I can't say enough good thing about him. I'm just not ready to give him what he's looking for - despite the fact he still wants it from me. I have to say for a minute that I thought maybe I could try but let me honestly say that I'm so far from that right now. What I need more of right now are friends who are just there for me but allow me my space when I need it.

The reason I bring this up?? Because all of it is unnecessary drama! Every ounce of it! This is why dating is stupid, this is why it's a waste of my time, this is why I didn't want to date to begin with.

I don't understand why things have to be blown out of proportion, why some people just don't take what you say for what it's worth. I don't understand why some people don't understand that no means no. I don't get why men are so...persistent and dead set on making sure the crazy one's are only attracted to me! That's for another time!

And men say women are complicated - I say men complicate women!

I know at least of the three reads this blog, however, I wish all three did. This is my message to them, and yes, to all you guidance counselors, I have said this bluntly, I hate drama. I've had enough drama in my life the last year, to be exact, and I want no more of it. I want to be selfish for once and have me time. I don't have to justify it. I don't have to excuse it. I don't have to explain myself. Quite frankly, it's none of your damned business what I do with my time, and if you don't like it, do what I told you to do in the beginning and move on. I've had enough bullshit to deal with, especially in the last six months, and quite frankly, your bullshit is not even close to the hell I've been through.

Don't bring drama into my home and expect me to pet your ego. Don't take things so seriously. If you can't, find someone else who finds it just as important as you do...I don't want your drama.

Sounds like you've got a case of the Mondays!!

Yesterday was just one of those long days. Everyone seemed to be in the Monday funk. And that Monday funk started, for me, when we had to put out keys (which are another story in of itself, entirely!)

The keys had been put in a box. No big deal. We all sorted out the mess and marched outside and started locating cars. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. At least, not until we got to the Sonatas.

Just to let you know, some trims levels are a lot, A LOT, more popular than others. Those others may sit there a minute and sometimes a light may have been left on, a door ajar, something that has run the battery down. So we had to jump off a few Sonatas. No big deal.

Right. No big deal til I got to lift the hood on the white one with an f'n wasps nest in it!!!

I don't know if you know this about me or not...I am deathly afraid of those things.

So D comes to the rescue and puts the charger on the car while I'm in the driver's seat, freaking out! The only thing I could think of was to leave the door open in case on of those pointed-ass bastards came through an air vent!

All of a sudden, D, who is a nice size dude, starts screaming, "Crank it already!! I'm going to get stung!!"

Ohhhh yeah.... I forgot you were over there!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The one where he got my number

I've been wanting to write this one for awhile.

Several weeks back, my friends threw me a "Freedom Party," for lack of a better term.

I had just found out that my divorce was final and was ex tactic! Free! Free!! Free!!! After several months of unending headaches, I finally was divorced. So we celebrated at a local bar in town where a band was playing.

The band, who is coming to town again soon and I can't wait to go see again, found out that I was newly single. At the same time, in the bar with us was a bachelorette party. Now, this is the part of the evening that, yes, is a bit groggy. A bit, a bit.

I was dressed in a black shirt and tight jeans. The stress I've been through has done wonders for the body, I tell you! My friend, who threw this party for me, was wearing nothing but a bra/vest type deal and even tighter jeans. Hate her...she pulled it off!!! Up on the stage we're pulled, shots being passed around everywhere.

I look over to my right and on stage with me is this poor, pitiful looking bride. I wanted to slap sense into her like someone should have done to me. My friend grabbed the microphone, screamed, "DON'T DO IT!" as the innocent was being introduced. She looked so happy; taking advantage of the last thread of wild in her. The crowd gave a clap while she raised her drink and spun around, holding the clumsy veil on her head.

I thought, "You look like you're about to be sacrificed." Meanwhile, I heard my name called.

"And this girl, ladies and gentlemen, very big night for her. While the other girl is getting married next week, Stephanie, is celebrating her divorce!!!" The next thing I know, the room is going A.P.E.S.H.I.T!!!! More drinks are being passed around, someone is dancing with me onstage, I'm getting high fives and congratulations...

It was crazy!!

Finally, I get back to my table after the journey of high fives and shots. How I hadn't fallen in my high heels is beyond me.

About that time, a very tall guy comes our way. I knew for certain he headed for my friend. I brushed him off until he sat next to me and leaned in.

"Crazy night, huh?"

"Yeah," I was pretty shy about meeting new people. Give me a break. It'd been a few months but meeting people in a bar was definitely not on my top ten things to do. "It's good to get out and have some fun, tho!!"

He had on a ball cap and a pressed polo shirt. His crooked little smile made his eyes sparkle a bit. But it was very dark, making out his face again would be difficult. I looked down and started playing with my phone.

"Hey, I like that phone!" He pointed to my toy. "Can I see it a sec?"

"Uh, sure?"

"So, are you from here?"

"Not originally."

He looked up from my phone a moment, "You don't sound southern."

"Well, I am...just not good with the accent!" I laughed. Sometimes I tend to sound a bit Yankee. I get made fun of for it, too.

"Well, I just put my number in your phone. Text me sometime!"

What the hell?!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Oh Holy Hell!!!

Just to make things more awkwardly hysterical, one of the persons in the previous post has a blog, and it took two clicks from my blog to find her!!

Does that mean it will take two clicks from her page to find me??

I have Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome

This week has been filled with nothing but awkward moments. Two in particular that left the room filled with that silent moment where everyone was looking at the elephant in the room.

Recently, about once a week, I've been meeting my friend Heather for coffee. I love Heather. She is one of the sweetest, most genuine people in the world. She's probably the best friend a person could have! During one of our weekly coffee jaunts, she mentioned her study group was starting a movie study. It would begin Tuesday and the girls would watch Fried Green Tomatoes. I love that movie! Bud-dyyyy!!! Can't watch it and not cry.

Tuesday, she picks me up and we go to her friends house. We were early (yes, it is in writing that I was early somewhere) and one other woman came in shortly after us.

I didn't pay her much attention, other than our hairstyles were quite similar. Lots of waves, shoulder length and hers was red. She was older than me and had a welcoming face.

"Stephanie, this is Kristen, she's my attorney," Heather introduced.

Bell is ringing.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you. What's your firm?"

"Kristen Love," she answered. DING DING DING DING

Stephanie, don't say what you're about to say!! "I thought you looked familiar! You're one of the first attorneys I visited when I was getting my divorce!"

Doh!!!

Last night capped my "Insert Foot Here" moments when an old co-worker came into town for a visit.

Not having seen my friend in months, I really wanted to go out with everyone to go get a drink and catch up. At some point, we landed at The Booth, where an acquaintance was having her birthday party. I don't know her very well, I used to work with her late brother. However, I did frequent her salon to get my hair done, and that's where I was introduced to one of my favorite hairstylists ever.

If you're not a girl, you don't understand. Let me give you an idea. Hair is expensive. Thick hair like mine is even more expensive to cut and color. I don't go often and am always looking for someone who can do a good job for less than $50. It's very difficult to find. Until I met Jennifer who does an awesome job and under $50! She rocks! I also liken it breaking up with someone when I leave a good hair stylist. I didn't tell Rachel I wasn't going to see her anymore.

Whilst sipping my beer, I looked over my shoulder, and hear, "Why did you stop seeing me?!!!"

Shit! "I was broke?"