This is normal conversation

Me: "Dad, let me see the roof of your mouth."

Dad: "huh?"

M: Let me see the roof of your mouth!"

D: Do what, sis?

M: Let. Me. See. The roof. Of your. MOUTH.

D opens mouth. I didn't see what I was looking for.

M: Ok. Well where did I get this from?

I opened my mouth to show the rather weird growth on the roof of my mouth. You can see it when I laugh but it's not that noticeable.

D: I don't know, darlin', God must've gave it to ya.

Me: Oh.

D: Well do you like it?

Me: It doesn't bother me. It's just an overgrown palate. It's just different.

D: Well if you like it, I gave it to you. I you don't, your mother did.


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Panama City is BP free on the shore

It is so pretty down here! The water is so blue! The pier that was lost after one of the many hurricanes in 2005 is now back up, too.

I like to come out here early in the morning. Right now we're sitting on the porch and my dad is playing his guitar. It's one of the few quiet alone times we get because he's a Santa and young children ask for autographs everywhere down here.

The sand is clean, the lifeguards are legal and nice to look at (no worries, DrSxDP), and there aren't tar balls swimming in the ocean.

BP's biggest mess up ever is not completely forgotten, though. The US military has a pair patrolling the sands for oil. I thank our military for their service and feel bad for them in full fatigues and hats with only a Gatorade thermos on the back of their camo rhino! I'm sure they are glad the heat is the worse they have to suffer!

Today is sand day. I will have my toes in it... All day!!


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Vacation starts.......NOW!!

I am on my way to the beach. We're on the road about 30 minutes later than we wanted. My grandmother's knee isn't cooperating this morning.

It's always fun going on roadtrips with my grandparents. They have been married over 60 years and are so full of life. I hope when I'm 82 I have someone I can be this happy and in love with and still mobile enough to take trips the way they do. MeMe may have a bum knee today but they still have plenty of energy to share with the world!

We just passed the giant sinkhole on 65S. My grandparents hadn't seen anything like that. It was fun trying to explain to them how important dirt is to a highway.

I've had one cup of coffee this morning. I need more! I'm trying to not take my Dramamine... And I'm sitting in the back for now. I don't like being drugged while I drive, though. We're planning on stopping in Montgomery for some breakfast and Sike's and Kohn's then I'll drive from there.

This is the only time I think it would be fun to have 4square... But I still think it would be annoying.

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One Pooped Puppy!!

I am feeling a little too drained to write. But I want to write.

I thought I wanted a night to myself and now I'm bored. In my defense, it's been super hectic the last two days! Yesterday at work, I got stranded at a gas station for hours while Habeeb, the manager, kept telling me, "You are too small to drive that big van! Too small! Why do they have such small girl drive such big van!?"

Before Habeeb chided me for driving a huge Econoline, I was fighting with FAFSA about the loss of my grant... at this moment, I just realized that I did NOT get to call back today to find the form I need to fix that... GDMFPOSGD!

Then I got home much later than expected and had a pizza, beer, and packing party with future roommate and a co-worker. We got so much done! Thank God! Now all I need is the key to my new room and to move my clothes. It was very helpful having three sets of hands putting things I know I'm not going to need immediately in a box and moving them to the new apartment as I could. We had fun, too, or at least I did.

Now my "to-do" remaining pretty plastic. I knock a few items off, pack room up, go to Birmingham, wash clothes, and I'm only making room for more things to be added. Go to library, pack for beach, finish the weekend warrior list at work, sleep.

I've got so much going on in such a short period of time that burn out syndrome is really kicking in! I'm so ready for this vacation! More mentally than physically... especially after I had to step on that scale today... I'm so ready to have books, sun, and sand!! A whole week of zero responsibility: home, school, or work! -- OK, ONE responsibility that I didn't get to do today that must be done ASAP!

So after packing, working, moving, driving, waiting, pushing, organizing, recording, digging, fixing, bleeding, arguing, and I can't remember everything else because it's all blurring together, I'm sitting down and enjoying a beer.

I just may sleep tonight...

I'm taking Chuck Norris to the beach with me! Take that!

There is a storm. In the ocean. Headed for MY beach.

This isn't the news I had wanted to wake up to!

I will go to the beach next week anyway! DrSP wants to see me on TV in a mumu saying, "it sounded like a freight train," so I will make sure to pack that and rollers. Weather will not stop me from having a beach vacation.

The second storm all freaking year and it happens NOW? sheesh!

Actually, to be deliriously honest, that tropical depression #3 knows better than to trek it's way to my beach! It knows better than to waste it's energy forming a hurricane and threatening my condo! It knows I'll be there, and it's scared! Watch make haste and run away!!

Yes, I'm aware that's only slightly delusional...


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There's a freckle on my big toe

The beach is calling my name! I cannot wait to feel the sand, sun rays, and warm waters on my skin! I cannot wait to bask in the daylight with a delicious book and escape into my own little world!

I've worked so hard over the last year, I can feel the onset if burnout. I get so exhausted putting all my energy into everything and having nothing to show for it yet. I think a mental break is well overdue.

At the beach, I will not stress over money.
At the beach, I will not stress about the fall semester.
At the beach, I will try my hardest to not think of the chemical changes my body is undergoing while I sit in the sun and produce melanin and collect a healthy dose of vitamin D.
At the beach, I will not gorge on anything but shrimp, grits, bananas, and tomato sandwiches.
At the beach, I will pretend I am on a deserted island where only one person can contact me.
At the beach, despite my dislike of ocean waters and God forbidding tar balls, I will wade out to the sandbar and tolerate, somehow, the fish that kiss my sunscreen.

At the beach, I will relax.

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Pure Chaos

Moving from one apartment to the other should never be this hectic!

I absolutely hate moving, with a passion. To make it more miserable, my current apartments have just held a mandatory meeting where they informed me that I need to have my stuff packed and ready to go. It has to look like a moving truck is ready to get me. Then I'll be informed sometime during the first three days of August when I can actually move my stuff. In the meantime, all of my stuff needs to be in the common area. WTF.

So, to clarify, I'm to pack up my belongings, place them in a common area for people to pilfer through when they come to inspect and view my apartment. There will be management, cleaning crews, maintainance crews, and potential residents with free and easy access to my belongings while I'm away.

Of course I have to be difficult. I told management that I will be out of town and gladly leave my belongings on top of my bed, in my room, where they will be locked away. I informed them that I will be back in town on the second day of my move and at the time, I'll start moving my stuff downstairs, and my new place will be ready by at least that day if they expect me to be completely moved out of my old place by midnight of the third day.

In the words of Tim James, makes sense to me. Doesn't it to you?

PS DrSP

The reason I'm being difficult about your generous offer to buy me clothing is because I sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, detest shopping for apparel. My impedimenta are not necessarily intentional, rather subconscious, as I always leave dressing rooms in tears and ready to find solace in a giant bowl of vanilla ice cream and peanut butter.

Should that happen, the shopping process would then be further extended due to unnecessary weight gain and self-pity. The cycle would repeat itself and more money would then be spent on JIF and Blue Bell.

It's much easier for you to do one of these two things:

1. Buy said items in appropriate size without me to replace said articles you are tired of.
2. Buy said items in appropriate size without me because you are insanely sweet and thoughtful of me like that.

I recommend keeping a copy of receipt and in the event of tearflow, please ignore, it is nothing you did. It is simply a side-effect of self-disappointment in physical stature.

There are a few preventative measures you can take and others you can continue to make to help lower the risk of me crying. That list includes:
- Telling me how beautiful I am. All the time.
- Refraining from negative comments about my boobs, stomach, ass, and thighs.
- Offering me regular terms of endearment.
- Not buying something you know is too big (i.e. Plus size).
- Asking me sizes in advance... But good luck on that one...

Furthermore, I'd like to remind you that this email is in no way designed to be offensive, rather a humorous and honest way of letting you know why I only shop for clothing as necessary.

Have a good week at work, DrSP! I will see you Saturday when hopefully I will have acquired us tickets, as promised!




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Insomniac's penmanship

I had such a blast tonight! DrSxDP and I went out with my best girlfriend T and her BF, D. I love her! It's so wonderful having a female in my life I can tell anything to! And it's even better not having a sociopath tell me I can't be friends with her because he's secretly utterly insecure!

I love that I have DrSP to learn to build a real and trusting relationship. Don't get me wrong, I'm a little paranoid still about some things and I have to check myself with him because I've been hurt so many times! He is patient and understanding about this, or at least he appears to be... If he's not he's hiding that well.

I'm just thankful for my T because I can say, "T! I'm paranoid!" and she can say, "Steph, you're so crazy! I don't know why you're worried about that! You can tell he's crazy about you!"

We went to Mugshots tonight. Beer and burgers make every social gathering better! I'm glad to see important people in my life getting along! I hate it when people make a big deal out of someone they don't know for stupid, immature reasons! There is so much more fun to be had in getting to know new people!

I've made plans to spend tomorrow evening for Girl's Night with T. It will be a night filled with girl talk and dreams.

I'm feeling a good sense of balance in my life this summer. I can have my time w DrSP and my time with T and time with other friends, too. It's nice to finally be able to still be me no matter who I'm around!

And drama free, knock on wood!

In other news, I'm about to get new roommates. I think I've learned my lesson on being FB friends with roommates, though. This time I will not let them have access to my venting. Communication with 21-year-olds is like raising a teenager. I'll be able to tell more stories without irrational consequences this way.

Beach in a few days!! W00t!!


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WTF

Nutshell version of conversation from Elvis (aka, the one I shouldn't have recycled last fall).

Elvis: hey, read emails we exchanged. Want to get dinner.

Me: I'm seeing someone. Where's my necklace.

Elvis: I boxed it up and mailed it to you.

Me: never got it.

Elvis: I can track it.

Me: that's all I want from you. Thanks.

Elvis: no answer.....

He wins the award or most random email sent today. I just want my necklace back!

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Constructive Criticism at its Finest

Since I've been back on air, I've been subject to daily air checks. I haven't had to listen to myself with someone else since I did news. I hate listening to myself. I hear me and hear me and hear me and hear me and the start thinking about how retarded I sound. It's interesting.

Must sound natural
Must sound cool
Must be local
Must keep pace
Must do "a, b, or c" except at "x, y, or z"
Segue this way, not that way
Nevermind, don't segue this way, segue that way!
Sheesh!

*Sigh* I'll just stick to having fun because the best parts of air checks are when I'm told, "I'm only getting harder on you because you're improving." I might be rusty after a five year hiatus, 3 years in news and ten years since being a DJ, I'll gladly take the constructive criticism!


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The Day the A/C Died

I just got in from work. I cut out a little early because it's Monday. None of my stuff gets in on time so it's becoming normal for me to have to go back Monday evenings to finish my work. No big deal there. I like the privacy. I thought I'd hang out at home for a little while instead of wasting gas on a hot summer day looking at things I can't afford anyway.



When I walked into my apartment, it was like I walked into a dog pound that had just emptied all the kennels. It literally smells like poo in here. It is 100 degrees. OK, I exaggerate, really only 80. But still. It's Alabama in the middle of July. It's hot and it stinks. I get changed for the gym and cannot stop sweating and cannot figure out this horrid smell.



I had to check out what was up with the thermostat. That's when I found out it was broken.



I consider myself to be a neat freak. I do not like clutter. I do not like germs. I love Clorox and I love a squeaky clean shine. I love the smell of fresh things and find it much easier to relax when I'm not surrounded by clutter. That being said, I do not clean after others. I do not clean up a mess you left behind. I refuse. I don't care how tall the dishes in the sink get, I would rather buy something that doesn't require a dish for dinner than clean your dishes. Someone else's mess is not my responsibility. It pisses me off that people actually don't give a shit about this, but there are people in the world who literally think that if they loan a dish to a person, the loanee is then responsible for every dish in possession of the loaner. I live with two of them.



One of the two, in particular, amazes me. She defies the laws of science. I have never seen someone cook a meal, leave it out for five days - on the stove - without a cover, let it collect flies (yes, flies!!), then reheat it in in the microwave, then leave it in the microwave for three, THEN reheat it AGAIN, and not have one ailment from the 7 day life span of the food. She brings home a pizza, leaves it out for a week and then eats it. I'm amazed she isn't dead. I'm more amazed that she's never been deathly ill from this! Today, of all days, she left out an uncooked package of ground beef. It's next to all of her clean and dirty dishes in the sink.



Needless to say, I don't get to use my sink much. I don't use it unless I've cloroxed it, either.



It's also a fantastic idea to bring your own bottled water to my apartment and avoid the tap water.



So not only is it 80 billion blazing degrees in my home, it smells like poo because the walking miracle of science has left meat out...



Now, the maintenance man just left. He informed me that he had spoken with this roommate earlier about the A/C dying. He said that was this morning. So here it is, 4:30 PM, ground beef has been sitting out in my apartment, baking in humidity and 80 billion degree heat, she knew that the A/C was dead, and left the meat out anyway...

Bloody. Hell.

I. Cannot. Wait. To. Move. Downstairs.

Date night

I got a hot date tonight with my DrSxDP! It's been awhile since we've gone out on a date date. It's been exceptionally hectic lately so it will be nice to just sit and enjoy conversation with him. Plus, I go to the beach next week and I'm looking forward to getting to spend as much time with him as I can before I'm gone for a week.

I like date nights. I love being with someone who still gives me butterflies. I know you read that and smirked, btw.

I like to ride my bicycle

The thing that I love about the summer time is how out of nowhere, a rainstorm can hit.

Like today for example.

Perfect day for a lazy bike ride. I had no intentions of really pushing myself. Just a good hot, sunny summer day to jump on my bike and ride. It's my newest addiction. I've been going to spin classes pretty regularly lately and have loved them! I didn't get to go this past week so to make up for it, I thought I'd go for a ride around town and just have some good healthy me time on my bike! Until I got downtown...

I noticed the big, dark cloud way in the distance when I left. In the five minutes it took me to peddle down the ominous hill that got me started going to spin classes in the first place, the ominous cloud was gaining speed. I kept peddling thinking that I could at least make it into town.

By the time I got to the strip, it became a race: who was going to make it back to my place faster? Me or this storm?

Then I heard thunder!

I peddled my ass off and made it back up the hill in record time. Didn't get a drop of rain on me. By the time I made it to my stairs, the rain began to pour.

That's when I decided to play on Blogger a bit and found the new templates. I was ready for a face lift anyway. What do ya think??

Big talker

I'm sitting in a Starbucks (big shocker there!) and there is a man across from me that I know from somewhere.

The first glance I had of him in here, I thought greasy salesman. He was talking and glanced up at me and I figured then he recognized me, too.

Wish T would hurry and show up so the awkward "I know you from somewhere" glances can stop!!

He is talking to people he apparently knows; but he won't stop talking. He sounds so redneck country. In his suit and southern accent, he resonates scammer.

He just left and got in his big green Tahoe. The back had his phone number on it. Just his phone number. Weird.

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Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la My Oh My

Well I'd say that went well! No majorly embarrassing moments, foul words, and the word condom was never brought up. I'd say BF meeting my dad and grandparents was a success!

And he totally thought he was getting okra until I set him straight! I loved it- he was so gentlemanly about it until he asked me when we were alone if he was really being served okra! He scored so many points for being a good sport!

Must add that he needs to learn quickly that I enjoy pulling innocent (and harmless) pranks!


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Who's more anxious?

Dear BF is meeting my dad tonight. This should be interesting considering Dad's a professional Santa...

I've already done one of my staple practical jokes. After 4 months, BF should take it as a sign that I really, really like him! He thinks he's in for shitload of green vegetables, which he hates! Little does he know what's really in store!!

Actually, I'm probably more nervous than he is. They are going to love him, no worries. Just seems to be like a curse; if you meet my dad, the end is nigh... I pray not. I'm not going to start a Redsox tradition in dating. This is probably why I've waited so long to introduce him. That, and my family dynamics are exceptionally screwy...

I plan on keeping BF a long time... This feels too nice being happy and taken care of... This is what it's supposed to feel like to be loved.

In other news... I've eaten my words about radio. It feels good to be back.


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