Training is hard. It's very hard work.
When I first started talking about doing this half-marathon with my husband, he said, "Whatever." I tried to explain to him how much I was going to need his support, I knew in the back of my head that this would be hard. Little did I know how hard this really was going to be!
When you think of training to run, you think, "Oh, it's just running! You add miles everyday! You'll get conditioned to running that far!"
The thing is, it's not just the running. I'm not a very fast runner, never have been and don't really care if I ever become one. I just enjoy running. It's not just being conditioned to running miles and miles at a time. My body will get there no matter how hard I have to push myself! There are other parts to this training.
Every morning, I wake up at 5:00 am, get up at 5:15, dress and head to the gym. I run my assignment and then circuit train for at least another 30-45 minutes. In total, I'm working out almost 2 hours straight a day.
Then there is the wear and tear on my body. My ankle has a very mild sprain . It's not inhibiting me but it is annoying. When I get home at night, it's very sore, especially if I stand flat-footed. I have to be super-careful when I walk and stand as I don't want to get a serious injury. The blame for that is the bad shoes I was wearing. Not only did I get the sore ankle, I also have quarter-sized blisters on my feet still healing up. Fortunately, those don't hurt anymore! Thank God for my new shoes!
Now to the mental portion of this training. I am on a treadmill, staring at a monitor telling me how far I've run while I, the OCD one, start counting backwards to see how much further I have to go! After twenty minutes of this, my mind is bored and I need something else for my gaze. Thing is, when I look straight ahead, there is a clock straight directly in my line of site like a bull's eye. The TVs in the cardio theatre, as wonderful as they are for helping me zone out, are fixed from the ceiling, so I have to crane my neck slightly upward to see them. Not always the most comfortable stance while running. So to solve a few of these problems as best I know how, I take a magazine and place it over the monitor and turn my iPod up as loud as I can stand it. That lasts until my ears get so sweaty the earphones won't stay in anymore. I have to go get some more ear buds! I'm literally pushing myself through some of these long runs. It's not fun when you're bored.
Last on this list, and most certainly not least, is my diet. Any trainer will tell you that it doesn't matter how much work you do in the gym, how much activity you get, how many calories you burn; none of the effort is worth it if you don't eat right. I've had to change my diet a bit and it's very frustrating. I feel like I don't know what's OK to eat anymore! Used to be easy: no breads unless wheat, sweet potatoes, lean proteins, egg yolks were OK, protein, protein, protein! I could eat a few sweets in moderation, and I mean moderation! I could enjoy my breakfast of eggs, bacon and grits from the Texaco station!
Now? Egg whites, carbs closer to long run days, protein shakes after runs (and these protein shakes are N.A.S.T.Y!), bananas (no trots, please!), oranges for the vitamin C, supplements for more fat loss. Chicken on a salad is OK, but I really need to be eating the dressings I can't stand, like vinaigrette's! Tuna for more protein. Flavorless, bland food.
I have lean up quick so I don't have to run with so much weight on me in February! I'm chunky! I'm strong, but I'm chunky! - And I have to lose it! It's so hard to eat right when you're hungry all the time! I feel like a weight trainer that's allowed to eat carbs.
Let's just top that off with Ed's mama baking brownies and bringing them to the dealership. The delicious, moist, chocolate treat is oh so good. Jessica, I hoped you really enjoyed them. The sweet tarts in my pocket that I want to choke down but can't. I didn't buy them, so don't be disappointed. I only had, maybe, 4 of them. Brooke didn't like them and gave them to me. I love sour! I'm sticking them in my desk drawer as a reward after race day! And never forget that my Reese's Pieces are sitting in a plastic container in the storage closet waiting for me to drop my $.50 in the change box so I can claim them as mine. Oh...so tempting...
Not all of my days are hard. I have moments like this morning, when my easy run felt super easy. It was one of those moments where a week ago, I had to push myself. I think of how hard it was and feel so proud to see that it's getting easier and easier the harder I work. I have days where I'm not hungry every minute of every day. That's not today, by the way! I am hearing more people compliment me on how much better I'm starting to look, how they can tell I'm losing weight. I'm hearing people say they wished they could try to do what I'm doing. Little do they know that I wish they would so I wouldn't be so alone in this!
So, no, not every day is a hard day. But the harder days are getting closer and closer together. That's why I when I talked to Trey about this, I wanted him to understand why this was so important, so big, so far-reaching. I wanted him to understand this, I wanted my friends to understand, I wanted my family to understand. Its imperative to understand in order to support. I'm so grateful that I have my husband, friends and family and their support. That doesn't mean you can eat Ed's Mama's brownies in front of me.
If you wondered why this was such a big deal before, now I hope you understand, too, that this is foremost the most challenging thing I've ever done. I believe in myself that I can finish this but I also have to know that I have my friends and family cheering me along as I go.
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